Toad The Wet Sprocket

*it's hard to rely on my good intentions
when my head's full of things that i can't mention
seems i usually get things right
but i can't understand what i did last night

it's hard to rely on my own good senses
when i miss so much that requires attention
have to laugh at myself sometimes
and i can see that i'm not blind

**there's little relief
give us reprieve
for all the things i've left behind
i'm positive that i'm not blind

i'm not afraid things won't get better
but it feels like this has gone on forever
you have to cry with your own blue tears
have to laugh with your own good cheer

*repeat

**repeat

i can't be hard on you
'cause you know i've been there too
learned a lot of things from you

but life gives little relief
give us reprieve
and when everyone is cold as ice
i clinch my fists and close my eyes
imagining the world outside
but i can see that i'm not blind

there's almost nothing left
you eat my kind for breakfast
what did i expect?
to come here and find anyone?
find open arms to greet me
and friends to feed me
i sicken myself so much
and you eat my kind for breakfast
you eat my kind

whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whenever i let my guard down, whatever i was ignoring
whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whatever i have been given, whatever i have been

seeing myself this way
i am a monster i believe
and seeing is believing
is there no doubt left
when i poison myself
and poison leaves no appetite
i sicken myself so much
i sicken myself so

whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whenever i let my guard down, whatever i was ignoring
whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whatever i have been given, whatever i have been

did we expect these things to change
by waking up and suddenly there they are
and all i need's a starting place
and nothing ever seemed so hard...

whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whenever i let my guard down, whatever i was ignoring
whatever i fear the most is whatever i see before me
whatever i have been given, whatever i have been

open up and let me in
i was lucky to live, don't need to win
forgave myself and if that's a sin
it's not enough you'd even know it
you did right to call my bluff
'cause i won't say when i've had enough
and i worked so hard to need this stuff
and you tried so long to just ignore it

won't you come down where i am
words are hidden, understand

i won't repeat myself again
i will not repeat myself again
it's another promise d.o.a.
and despite my every hope there is no truth
behind my best intentioned oath

won't you come down where i am
words are hidden, understand
won't you come down
been away to long, i know i have

won't you come down, help me stand
there is healing in your hands
won't you come down where i am
words all leave me
been away too long
i know i've been away too long
i know i have

are you the plane
that shapes the board
part of a history
smoothed and worn
and oh, the windy weather
dry spells, brushfire

isn't it strange
to see my life
you must cut me down
to look inside
and oh, the simple pleasures
this ring tells of rain
and this one summer
good years, nightmares

how is it i remember
knowing that i would live forever
isn't it strange
how truth can change
and oh, the windy weather
this ring tells of rain
this one, summers
dry spells, brushfire

is it this place that makes me fall from you
forget the words that once rang so true
did we expect that life was ever fair, my god...
i sowed a field of rose and reaped a whipping rod
and everything i've held too tight inside
could make a part of me die
and if my lips could only speak the name
the dam would break

what is this ice that gathers round my heart
to stop the flood of warmth before it even starts
it would make me blind to what i thought would always be
the only constant in the world for me
and every hours of every day
i need to fight from pulling away
and if my mind could only lose the chain
the dam would break

for all the things i hid away
and all the words i could not say
the dam would break

i want to be clean, i want to be whole
i want revenge, i want control
i want to give up, i want to give in
destroy all i have been
i want to be cruel, i want to be cold
i want a chance to sell my soul
i want to break out, i want to dive in
to lose myself in sin
i don't need anything
i'm just wanting
just wanting
i don't need anything
i'm just wanting
just wanting
desire all desire is
desire feeds desire
desire all desire is
desire breeds desire
i want to scream, i want to shout
i want to have faith and never doubt
i want to bend, i want to break
to sleep and never wake
to break down walls and to escape
be alone and hide my face
i want to feel, i want to touch
want to stop wanting it so much
i don't need anything
i'm just wanting
just wanting
i don't need anything
i'm just wanting
just wanting
desire all desire is
desire feeds desire
desire all desire is
desire breeds desire

lead me well, don't clear my way
it's fascinating how the pallor can stay upon your face
when you are light like a little boy
flying kites and shouting to the world
you're shouting to the world your joy
don't fade, you're staying here with me
don't fade, i need to know that someone still believes

look around, see for yourself
he led us down and at the water's edge we knelt
petals in the lake and red upon my face
she's crying as we pray
and it all comes down to money, again
how could you forsake the love of god that way
don't fade, you're staying here with me
don't fade, i need to know that someone still believes.

little man big man who came first
what is the measure of our worth
if there was a storm rolled in
who'd run inside
who'd go walking

little man big man what's inside
it's all in the places
where we find our pride
if there was a soul lost by the road
who'd pass by
who'd take it home

where is the beast lying
is there a beast hiding

little man big man who is who
it's all in the damage that our toys can do
if there was a rock and a window pane
who'd throw stones
who'd walk away

where is the beast lying
is there a beast hiding

are we learning
are we moving
little man big man fade away
it's all in the in the violence of the games we play
it's all in the in the violence of the games we play
it's all in the love we give today

take your cautionary tales
take your incremental gain
and all the sychophantic games
and throw 'em all away

burn your tv in your yard
and gather 'round it with your friends
and warm your hands upon the fire
and start again

take the story you've been told
the lies that justify the pain
the guilt the weighs upon your soul
and throw 'em all away

tear up the calendar you've bought
and throw the pieces to the sky
confetti falling down like rain
like a parade to usher in your life
take the dreams that should have died
the ones that kept you lying awake
when you should've been all right
and throw 'em all away

with the time i waste on the life i never had
i could've turned myself into a better man

'cause there ain't nothing you can buy
and there is nothing you can save
to fill the whole inside your heart
so throw it all away
won't fill the whole inside your heart

help me empty out this house
the wool i've gathered all these days
and thought i couldn't do without
and throw it all away

here, i need your help
deliver me from myself
take me where i'm wanted
or make me someone else

never mind what they said
forget about the things you read
it was something you'll never know
never see, never understand
just leave it now if you can

tell me
when they come for you
who will there be to speak
and when they come for you
who will there be left to speak for you?

the final solution's back in style
we are the ones letting it ride
i never knew we were so blind
amnesia in comfort, so unkind

tell me
when they come for you
who will there be to speak
and when they come for you
who will there be left to speak for you?

life is suffering
tee-hee, ha-ha
life is suffering
tee-hee, ha-ha

cold and shuddering
tee-hee, ha-ha
cruel and pummeling
tee-hee, ha-ha
smile on little buddha, smile on
little buddha, smile on
it's only illusion then it's gone

lost and struggling
tee-hee, ha-ha
life is suffering
tee-hee, ha-ha
smile on little buddha, smile on
little buddha, smile on
it's only illusion then you're gone
maya

anyway now, it don't seem right
he is in there and you're on the outside
over pine ridge to wounded knee
there's blood on the ground as far as you see
crazy life

in the air i'm sensing a change in the weather
in the end the path is clear
does anyone remember here
did you all think he'd just disappear
crazy life
what have you done with Peltier
who did you think you'd taken away
crazy life

in the air i'm sensing a change in the weather
in the end the path is clear

burying won't stop it breathing forever
underground it takes to root

anyway, it don't seem right
he is in there and you're on the outside
what have you done with Peltier
who did you think you'd taken away
it's not over...

call me up when you need
strangers often deceive
and there's something so freeing
to call out a name
and someone's believing

i've been changing my mind
through with looking behind
it's a crash course in life
the best you can do is get by
no getting out alive
i'll hold a light for you to see
all things in time, all you'll ever need

something i can't explain
keeps me running, afraid
and every day
looks me in the face and says
"who'd you think you were, anyway?"
if you'll hold a light for me to see
all things in time, all we'll ever need
well, you told me so
that we'd seen all this before
so what is it that keeps us coming back for more?

i'll hold a light for you to see
all things in time, all you'll ever need
all things in time, all we'll ever need

There she goes
There she goes again
Racing thru' my brain
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Pulsing through my veins
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
She call my name
Pulls my train
No one else could heal my pain
And I just can't contain
There feeling that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Chasing down my lane
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains

There she goes

i fear nothing
besides myself
please don't touch me
love like an infant trying to stand up

am i two souls
one hard, one whole
am i real
i don't want to feel anything
anymore

i feel nothing
besides this pain
please don't watch me
love like an infant
scared and crawling

i've come here a thousand times, some things never change
"yes i will, anything you say"
i've quit this a million times, can't quite stay away
just one more time...i'll be ok
but i'm so damn tired

when i come back down
though i'm crazy to
anything you want from me i'll do

"hey joe, could you spare a buck
i could use some food"
what a laugh, one more fool
two hours and it's back again, lapping at my heels
stop yelling..i'll get through
but i'm so damn tired

i've come here a thousand time
some things never change
lay me down...take me away
god, i'm so damn tired

> we were sharing so many words and feelings
age is heavier, it seems, than years alone
but, i told you things i wouldn't dream of telling anyone
are we drifting out, like flowers from a forgotten someone
don't go away
i can't feel the same without you
we were making so many plans and secrets
we would both be millionaires or kings or presidents
but like everything those little dreams
just kind of came and went
hard now just to make end meet
how soon we al forget

Why try
When everything I do feels half right?
I wander through my life
Everything I say seems half right
Sometimes I'm standing here
High on a riverbed
And light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while
High on a riverbed
Where am I
When everything I do feels half right?
How can I be satisfied
Writing words from someone else's lies?
Sometimes I'm standing here
High on a riverbed
And light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while
High on a riverbed
Light breaks through
I see myself sometimes
Vision is a mystery half blind
I keep missing all the time
Seeing what I could be if I...
If I...
Sometimes I'm standing here
High on a riverbed
And light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while
High on a riverbed
Light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while
High on a riverbed
Light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while
High on a riverbed
Light breaks through
And everything feels good for a while

watching me
a bird upon a roof with coal-black feathers
cocks his head
to catch my eye
wandering and unfocused i cannot meet his stare
he takes to wing
silhouette against the sun
surrounded by the glare

funny how the days go by invisibly
and faster than i realize the things i think about
strange to find the calendar my enemy
and scared that when i die so will the things
i think about

i believe in so many things
i know that none of them are true
and my feet
firm upon a pathway i am far too blind to see
leading me

funny how the days go by invisibly
and faster than i realize the things i think about
scared to find the calendar my enemy
and when i die so will the thousand things
i think about

on and on and on...