Just take back the DVD Withdraw that extra money Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea Then grab my savings and hurry So first to get the film back in time To avoid that big fine I had to do a fast hill climb But a faster decline But I flew a bit quick Arms like a lunatic Had to stop for a few ticks I started feeling sick Got to the video shop in a state But chuffed it, wouldn't be late Only when he flicked open the case I'd left the disc at my place
[Chorus] Today I have achieved absolutely naught In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should have just stayed in bed like I know how
So I failed on the DVD But I still had to get the money Tell mum I couldn't make tea Get the savings and then hurry Rushin' to the cash machine Still a bit mashed and lean Then of course a mandatory car Drives by and splashes me Get there the queue's outrageous Ladies taking ages My rage is blowing gauges How long's it take to validate your wages? At last my turn comes Press the 50 squid button: Insufficient funds
[Chorus]
So I failed on the DVD Couldn't withdraw any money But I still had to call mum Get the savings, and then hurry So to call mum so that I could tell her I can't go and that At least I remembered my phone, man I didn't know her number offhand Where's my phone, have I got it? Oh this is a crock of shit! I lost the fucking thing Wait, wait, it's in my pocket But the batteries nearly flat Got to call, quick snap Aww shit, the battery is flat
[Chorus]
So I've failed on the DVD Couldn't withdraw any money Or call mum about tea I'll have to get the savings and hurry But where was the money? I knew I'd left it on the Side, next to the telly This is not even funny I left it in the living room Ready to pick up as soon As I passed through On the way out to the rendezvous So the shoebox full of money Just disappearing from me That's not what I call funny +A grand don't come for free+
[Chorus]
Oy, soaked to the bone in me jeans You want me to stop? I imagine my mum's weeping right now And the thousand pounds you swore That I left on the table this morn Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes, and yours And I'm a thousand pounds poorer Hundred thousand pennies, no more A thousandth of a million squid Or two monkeys Or a whole fifty scores Gone, withdrawn, from my life The money is no more for sure
'Cause her last relationship fucked her up Got hurt majorly, finds it tough to trust Looked at the ashtray, then looked back up Spinnin' it away on the tabletop She looked much fitter than Saturday just She worked in JD's with Dan Back then I figured she was pretty damn rough But she was only wearin' her work stuff And in these clothes she looked more than buff She stirred her straw, sat up to adjust I told her I thought it was important That you could get lost in conversation Chattin' shit, sittin' in, oblivion With that person who's your special one She said she was the worst pool player under the sun But blokes go easy so she always won
[Chorus] I saw this thing on ITV the other week Said, that if she played with her hair, she's probably keen She's playin' with her hair, well regularly So I reckon I could well be in
She didn't look too bored with what I was sayin' Her hair looked much better than the other day She had her fingers 'round her hair, playin' I Saw on the telly that's a good indication Stood up to buy the next drink though, "Nay." Suppose that's just our girl's way I'm tryin' to think what else I could say Peelin' the label off, spinnin' the ashtray Yeah actually, yes, she did look pretty neat Her perfume smelled expensive and sweet I felt like my hair looked a bit cheap Wished I'd had it cut back last week She kept givin' me this look, cause she would speak Was she only friendly, or was she a keep? Asked her if she wanted the same again to drink Started to turn and get up out my seat
[Chorus]
She said that her close mates all were Always the most important thing to her I said I thought it was a bit more blurred She asked what I meant by that as she stirred I told her about the money and what had occurred With it goin' missing from the living room, so With my best mates all there standin' by Right where I left it, under their eyes So surely one of them might have spied What happened to my money at that time I felt like they were all smilin' on the side She was like "fair play" she couldn't say why She didn't know what all my mates were like And I said she just might be right Wish I had someone I could always rely Someone to get lost chattin' to all night
[Chorus]
As I walked back with more drinks to our place She had her phone stuck to the side of her face I sat for a minute while she chatted away 'Bout somethin' with her mom and her birthday Played for a bit with the same ashtray Thought about things while I sat and waited It was nice to chat about the shit in my head Someone who just listens to you instead I looked at the barman, wiping down again Looked at the football on the TV set Tryin' to look like I weren't just waitin' there For her conversation to come to an end I look at my watch and realized right then That, for three hours, been in conversation Before she put her phone down, she switched to silent And we carried on chattin' for more than that again
It's his lucky day, that's a given He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn He's not addicted, he can stop anytime But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine This time I know I'm gonna smash the bet I foresee it smacked in the back of the net Men grip slips, wipe their hands that sweat The camera pans the away fans end Twenty quid for blues to thrash the reds Then cash that cash, when the ref has said My mates out, his pads a mess Its getting late, I've not dashed yet The question I have to ask myself Is can I see us not battering them? If I cant see that, happening then I'm gonna put all my money down on one fat bet Now I don't know the first thing about football But my instincts tell me this is my windfall It's his lucky day, that's a given He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn He's not addicted, he can stop anytime But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine This time I know I woulda cashed the lot I woulda held in my hand the whole jackpot The games won, the ends have a swap 2-0 up they're getting mashed up But I wont win now, the chance flopped Cause I couldn't make it to the damn shop Might as well put tea in that pot Ive got nowhere else I have to bop The question I have to ask one Is how I managed, not to manage the trot Maybe I could phone in and slap it on Put all my money on a mid-match one Yes, I don't know the first thing about football But my instincts tell me this is my windfall It's his lucky day, that's a given He'll tick the box on the slip, and then just watch and learn He's not addicted, he can stop anytime But this is gonna pay, he feels it this one'll be fine Shit, I'm mad glad I didn't back that match Suppose to be an unproblematic catch Full time the whistle blasted after The last passer, passed the last pass Would you believe how we fell back Three goals lost in the last half So glad I was stranded back at the flat Wincing at every goal we let em have The question I now have to ask Is how the fuck did we get smashed that bad? I just very, very nearly, nearly Lost every penny of all my cash Yes, I don't know the first thing about football And my instincts almost led me to a pitfall It's his lucky day, that was barmy He didn't tick the box on the slip, and what a relief He's not addicted, he can stop anytime But next time he will be more lucky, next time he'll be fined [x2] I need to rethink the technique of my betting shit Maybe change the parameters a little bit Instead of betting on to win the football I'll bet to lose the cricket
I'm about to do something crazy, you'll regret this, I swear This one time I really needed you to head over mine where I was throwing up all morning, it was all in my hair Then because I was so dizzy I almost fell down the stairs Like you always do, you know, you just don't fucking care
[Chorus] Go, get out of my house, please Actually give me back my keys, but I'll be proper angry, if You're not back later on your knees
Look Come on, calm down, it wasn't all totally like that You're over-reacting just a bit, maybe we can sit down and chat It's just, you know, I had stuff to do, you know, this and that Maybe it wasn't so important as you being in the sack But I had to sort out my pills man; I needed to stock up my stash I couldn't do it any other day, I had to do it then, quick snap And you didn't want me there last Sat., so I left you on your jack And this Saturday I thought it was the same deal as last Sat. at your gaff
[Chorus]
You don't care about my broken TV I sit on my sofa all day smoking weed I never phoned that bloke from the TV company So please don't be like this, please, please, please
Actually now I think about it, what am I guilty about? I felt like I was in the wrong, I felt like I was the lout Oy, this is what happened last Saturday now, I think I remember now You were ill last Saturday and two weeks before that little bout You know I need that medication for my epilepsy now Or I run the risk of having a fit, you know I can't go without So when you being in bed is because last night you got pissed It's you that's being selfish, it's you that don't give a shit
I'm gone, I'll get out your house, then I'll never, be back again, but I'll still be 'ceiving when, you Text me to make up and be friends
Excuse me girl I know its a bit embarrassing But I just noticed some tan lines.. On your shirt!
See I reckon you're about an eight or a nine Maybe even nine and a half in four beers time That blue top shop top you've got on is nice Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high But there's just one little thing that really really Really really annoying me about you you see Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit But my gosh don't you just know it
[Chorus] I'm not trying to pull you Even though I would like to I think you are really fit You're fit but my gosh don't you know it
So when I looked at you standing there with your hoard I was waiting in the que looking at the board Wondering whether to have a Burger or chips Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford When I noticed out the corner of my eye Looking toward my direction Your eyes locked onto my course I couldn't concentrate on what I wanted to order Which cost me my place in the queue I waited for yeah
[Chorus]
Whoa! Leave it out Are you smoking something? Leave it out Mike just leave it just leave it We cannot have that behavior in this establishment S'not worth it mike, just leave it Don't touch me, s'not worth it Don't touch me, D, look 'm alright don't touch me
For a while there I was thinkin' - yeah but what if? Picturin' myself pullin' with bare white hot wit Snarin' you as you were standing there opposite Whether or not you knew it I swear you didn't tick And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing Was clockin' onto you too yeah I had to admit That yeah yeah you are fit And yeah I do want it But I stop sharkin' for a minute to get chips and drinks
[Chorus]
Oy, just as you started to make your big advance With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand I was like nah, I can't, even though you look grand But you look sharp there smilin' hard suggesting and Gleaming away with your hearty hearty lookin' tan But I admit the next bit was spanner to my plan You walked towards my path but just brushed right past And into the arms of that white shirted man
[Chorus]
Oh what do I give .. I've got a girlfriend anyway (whoa, we've all had a drink mate) We're all a bit drunk, yeah we've had a few fair play I got this Stella I bombed from that last cafe This nights not even begun, yes yes oh yay I did fancy you a bit though yeah I must say I would rather I hadn't mugged myself on display But this is just another case of female stopping play On otherwise a total result of a holiday
Yeah safe man, you ok? Just calling to ensure you got back in Hope you coped yesterday, cos I felt well damn grim But yeah in the air on the plane my stomach was turning Man I was hanging head-to-sted on the headrest in pain Prayed away all my bad sins Lost count of the plain chardonnays before the fourth or maybe the fifth In future I need to abstain If only id had a bit of discipline But worth every bit of spare change Pure clowning down to the last drink (Hang on let me slam the door mate; just pause that thought for a bit) Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat I've been pacing the place well paralysed since I got back in with my bags though Yeah I'm too aware that last night was way mad slack I know Carried in a gang I lost sight of Simone On her own back at home Distracted from the fact it weren't right could have raised up the hand but no Simone was moaning and that about me playing away on this holiday She was watching the box at her dad's house there, preparing spliffs away As I'm smacking glasses down at George Bests best session rate (Can you hear me? Na sorry mate your fuzzy mate I can't hear ya) Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat (I lost you for a minute yeah yeah I can hear you now) See I mean that the true thing though I suppose I chose myself to allow I was weak and stupid but as far as I viewed anyhow She couldn't have been it for me, the only girl id ever go out with I didn't want to waste my youth in a girl's house to the sound of spliffs And when she got in a mood with me in that text about that thing I just switched off the phone when she started shouting Coming to a conclusion I couldn't be bothered with anymore rowing Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat (Nah nah nah) And then after shots made me lose the plot It all got a bit bizarre And that incident with the ice cream I forgot, it all ended in our vodka What I can remembers a blotch I got a fat bruise on my arm She weren't even much too hot but she totally mugged me up like rah She knew exactly what she was doing and it all went a bit too far She was with that bloke in the white top in McDonalds car park And then she let me chat her up later on in that lovely little bar (Hello? Ahh fucking phones man) Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat (Yeah I think we got cut off, yeah I got crap reception in my house. I have to stand in a certain spot in my kitchen or it cuts out) Yeah you know I was potty to even let myself allow it I would if I could just swap what happened then for right now And if she ever found out how far it got it would be more than just a row This whole thing just got on top but its her that I want, no doubt So in a way its helped me doing wrong I know I've fucked up now This is where that dodgy shit stops She's just gotta not find out Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat Why did I have to go and do a stupid thing like that Coz yeah it felt like we were through though But I could've ruined it, I'm such a twat
I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? Can't seem to do anything but stare My C.P coat is lyin' just there Draped over the edge of that dusty chair All fits into place suddenly Yeh my coat was hangin' up under my stairs But one day it went leaving the cupboard bare The facts all click in and become square He stole it while I was unaware But why's he denying it when it's so bate Looking at the telly, won't look over straight Why's he not flappin' and explaining away? To one very fuckin' frustrated mate Dan's been trustin' every word Scott says He believes in mates so fair play But Scott's story is too far outweighed And I'm gonna act before its too late I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? [Wayney G] This must all look a bit weird It's Mike's C.P coat sittin' here Draped over the chair So that it appears to all fit me up suddenly And clear I'm gonna have to just try and volunteer An answer 'bout the man who left the bomber here He must've picked it up from Mikes dear Girls house When the weather wasn't clear The man must've thought it was Simone's coat We didn't think it was Mike's coat though I can't just deny it 'cause my face shows Lookin' at the telly's not aidin', no I can't tell Mike this man didn't know And innocently borrowed the coat at Simone's 'cause then Mike would demand to know Why this man was even at Simone's [Mike] That frown could mean anything [Wayney G] What the fuck am I gonna do now? He know's I'm lyin' [Mike] I wish I could read his mind [Wayney G] It's written all over my face I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? [Mike] What the fuck's he saying she had the garm' Either he has gone John Barnes Or he's tryin' to spin me a con's yarn He think's he's the fucking don gar How long have I undergone his smarm? Shruggin' it all off as fun charm If he don't stop lookin' at the TV though I'm gonna wrap the cable round his wee throat Hang on Scott says Simone had the coat Where did he see her on the d.low What is it I don't need to know? Is he scheming to be near Simone? In the club I wondered what was on the go Dan was tryin' to keep Scott from being close And Scott teefed me money and his teefed me coat And he's trying to steal me girlfriend from under me nose I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? I wish I could read what his eyes are sayin' Staring straight and not blinking He's not giving anything away What is he thinking? [Wayney G] Right I can't be bothered with this no more I'm gonna have to tell him I owe him the score I wish I could tell him about the dough on the draws That's somethin' I don't know, I swore The coat thing will look dodgy loads more If I don't throw it down as the crow soars I'd better put the video on pause Face up toe-to-toe over the floor He really needs to know how his jacket Miraculously appeared round my gaff, here And the man that left it's been shagging Mike's girl behind Mike's back and thing This shit's all got a bit out of hand There's no options I'm all down on plans I'm jus' gonna have to split it now, man Tell Mike the person that bought the coat 'round Was.....Dan
In one single moment your whole life can turn round I stand there for a minute starin straight into the ground Lookin to the left slightly then lookin back down World feels like it's caved in proper sorry frown Please let me show you where we could only just be for us I can change and I can grow or we could adjust The wicked thing about us is we always have trust We can even have an open relation ship if you must I look at her she stares almost straight back at me But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin straight through me Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity When they open up she's lookin down at her feet Dry your eyes mate I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now It's over So then I move my hand up from down by my side It's shakin my life is crashin before my eyes Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me There's things I can't imagine doin things I can't imagine seein It weren't supposed to be easy surely Please please I beg you please She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with She peels away my fingers looks at me and then gestures By pushin my hand away to my chest from hers Dry your eyes mate I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now It's over I know in the past I've found it hard to say Tellin you things but not tellin straight But the more I pull on your hand and say The more you pull away Dry your eyes mate I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up There's plenty more fish in the sea Dry your eyes mate I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts But you've got to walk away now
If I want to sit in and drink super tenants in the day I will No one's going to fucking tell me jack But can you rely on anyone in this world? No, you can't It's not my fault there's wall-to-wall empty cans Everyone wanted this to all go wrong for me from the start It's fucked up that a man's life can just be attacked Watching this morning with a beer Is much better than relying on Unknown cunts for mates I was given That don't have my back Scott texted me to say he'd have a look at the TV for me But I laid it down telling him to fuck right off chap Phoned this company out the yellow pages Told them to take away the TV and fix it quick snap The next day they took away the TV Told me they would repair the little bit That's broken round on the back I thought that would be that but the next bit was on top This was where it all started to get a bit out of hand
[Chorus 1] No one gives a crap about Mike That's why I'm acting nasty You know what you can do with your life Introduce it up your jacksie 'Cause no one gives a crap about Mike That's why I'm acting nasty You know what you can do with your life Introduce it up your jacksie
The TV man comes back later, knocks on mine To say he's found something in the back of the TV I'm looking at it absolutely speechless, can't quite believe He's trying to pull this fucking stunt on me I knew it was a simple case of the power supply gone on the back But he's trying to tap me up for more money He says it's not like that and I'm like "Fuck off and die!" And stick up my two fingers and one more to make three He says "Don't talk to me like that", and I don't understand My face is in his face, I tell him I understand perfectly And he grabs my shirt and I grab his face with my hand So he brings his fist up and twats me a good one on my cheek Now I'm trying to pull his head down so I can knee it But he's got my ear He's twisting it round so much that it's Really hurting me And we both go down on the floor, and he pushes my head back Onto the corner of the fridge which is, total agony Then he gets up and runs out the kitchen, and out of the door Shouting stuff to me, slams his door, shouting at me So here I am in my house, drinking on my own settee Everyone's a cunt in this life, no one's there for me
[Chorus 1]
If I want to sit in and drink super tenants in the day I will No one's going to fucking tell me jack But can you rely on anyone in this world? No, you can't It's all my fault there's wall-to-wall empty cans I sat in the kitchen all fucked off Imagining over and over what they're all doing behind my back Dodgy things going on, actions I regretted Stain bottle with a pipe and tin foil on the mat Scott texted me to say he'd have a look at the TV for me And I felt like just telling him to fuck right off chap But what he said about wanting to do the right thing by both mates And then opting to stay out? It seemed to match But I told him he could make it up by fixing the TV He said that's the least he could do to square things flat I thought that would be that but then the next bit was mad This is where everything started to all turn back
[Chorus 2] The end of the something I did not want to end Beginning of hard times to come But something that was not meant to be is done And this is the start of what was
He had to unscrew about fifteen screws Before he could pull the panel off the back To get in the fecking thing But just as he did so, he said he saw something That slipped inside behind the panel Down the back of it Must have been some leaflets or a bill maybe I didn't want to lose the bill in case it was a final warning So we both tried to get the back off and work out If there was any more screws to get out Or if we left any in And when he looked down the back of the TV his eyes just froze Before he rammed his hand in, saying, "No shit!" He's looking at me absolutely speechless He can't quite believe what he's trying to pull, out the slip I get up wondering what he's smiling about He's shaking his head at this point with, the biggest of grins I look down the back of the TV and that's where it was In all its glory?my thousand quid
[Chorus 2]
About two this afternoon the last of the people left my house 'Cause they never stop chatting 'til all the rackets gone I really feel like things clicked into place at some point Or maybe it's the fact that me and Alison really got on Or maybe it's that I realized that it is true No one's really there fighting for you in the last garrison No one except yourself that is No one except you You are the one who's got your back 'til the last deeds done Scott can't have my back 'til the absolute end 'Cause he's got to look out for what over his horizon He's gotta make sure he's not lonely, not broke It's enough to worry about keeping his own head above I shut the door behind me, huddled up in my coat Condensation floating off my breath, squinted out the sun My jeans feel a bit tight, think I washed them too high I was gonna be late, so I picked up my pace to run
