Ya know, Steve, I wish we could just always have fun, and never, never, ever have to be sad. And just always smile and laugh, and sing, and play. And just always be having so, so, so, so, so much fun. And, never cry, never be sad, never have to frown, never have anybody mad at us. Just always having fun; always laughing, and laughing loud, and getting other people to laugh, too. And have so much fun and never, never, never be sad for any reason. And if anyone would ever try to make us sad (or mad), we wouldn't be. Because we would just be too glad. And then we would make everyone else glad because our "Gladdys" would be so big, everyone else would have to be glad, too. And, Steve, I never, ever wanna cry, and I know you don't either. And I hope that we will never, never have to cry. And if we just laugh a real lot, and laugh loud 'n' hard and long, we will never, ever have to cry. And if anyone tries to make us cry, we will make them laugh instead; we will make them glad and we will keep them from feeling bad, and we will never be sad, 'cause it's so fun to be happy, and I always wanna be happy with you Steve, and I never want it to be a cloudy day. I always want the sun to shine. And even if one day the sun doesn't shine, we'll pretend the sun is shining. And we'll be so happy, and we'll just laugh and laugh anyway. And pretty soon, all the dark clouds will go away. Because we can't have those dark clouds, no! We will always be happy, and having fun instead. And if it should ever start to rain little drops of rain, we will pretend it isn't raining. We will go inside and pretend there's no rain, and sure enough, our gladness will make all the rain go away.
("They told me I was gonna get a balloon.")
And, Steve, you and I are so happy; and, and, Steve, we will just take our happiness with us everywhere. We could go into bad neighborhoods where very sad and very bad people live. But we'd make them happy, and they would be sad or bad anymore. And we would walk the streets of the worst places in the world, and make everyone so happy. Why, why, we could go to New York, and make all the people in New York so happy. Why, we could even go to Tokyo. Why, Steve, we could go to all the big cities, all over the world, making people happy wherever we go. And make 'em laugh and make 'em sing.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-. Make them sing. So many little, come on everybody sing along with me now; just everybody go, do-do do dodo do do, do-do-do; whatever you feel like singing; just go do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do do do do, etc...
Do you think you can fool me? Do you think you can lie to my face? Do you think I believe you? Well, what you tell me is a total waste
Do you think you can use me? I bet you think that you are great Do you think you can get away with murder? I think you can use a kick in the face
Eh - you can fool some of the people some of the time And you can fool most of the people all of the time Ah - you can fool a few of the people none of the time But you cant fool me any of the time
So I sit and I eat a TV dinner I watch an old funny Marx Brothers movie And a flash comes across my TV screen And its you in all of your glory
You like to tell me about brutal murders You make me choke on my pasgetti Korean airlines that was shot down by the Russians You even show the dead peoples families crying
Well, you can gross out some of the people some of the time Eh - you can gross out most of the people none of the time Most of the people like to get grossed out all of the time Aint that right But you make me sick every time, every time
I see your face is laced with a new kind of taste Its great the way you waste all that space Youre right, its night and I shouldnt go outside But if a stiletto stabs me Itll make your job so exciting If a razor cut me You can give them something worth watching
We interrupt this song to bring you a special news bulletin. Hello, this is Wilma Wasko, anchorwoman at the Eyewitness News Center in New York. Hey - do I have your attention? Look at me, me, me (etc.) Im on TV. Check this out, ladies and gents. This is good stuff, real good stuff, real good-good-good-good-good-good great stuff.
The two bodies of Trisha and Connie... (uh, what was their last name?) (That doesnt matter, anyway). The bodies of two young school children were discovered today buried in the Carle Place Rushmore Grade School playground at ten oclock this morning. Despite the semi-decayed carcasses of the young school girls (who were found to be 10 and 11 years old), the autopsy report shows that the girls were brutally raped, strangled, beaten and stabbed excessively. Young Trisha was reported to have at least 27 stab wounds in the chest and stomach area, with severe stabbings in the neck, head and eyes. Young Connie was found to have a severed left leg and heart displacement. And it is this doctors opinion that anal sex was performed on the dead bodies after the brutal, slaughterous act was done. Details at 10.
The junk that you feed to my children Is junk that you believe in I dont care about crooked politicians I dont wanna see someone bleeding while Im eating
And when you review a motion picture You like to kill the actors and writers You do this to feed your own ego So your own life wont seem so damn miserable
Well, you could screw some of the people some of the time And you do screw most of the people all-a-da time Ah - you could screw a few-a-da people a couple of times But you cant screw me any of the time, any of the time...
Youre lookin for trouble Youve come to the right place Come on baby, smack the smegma All across the place because...
I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did. I really did. It was all over your body. Eh, your body looked like a road map, and my best friend got so confused, he thought you were doubting Thomas and put his fingers in your holes that I left there after I beat you up with an axe.
I looked at you and I suppose that youd like to stick a pair of speakers in my throat because you dont like the way I speak. Of course you dont. Why dont you put me in overdrive and well get in treble. Well have triplets together. Well have to talk to the staff about it. Oh, Im so flat; Im so flat; Im so flat; Im so flat.
Ah, youre under arrest. Youre under arrest. Youre under arrest for smiling in Sector V, now; dont step across the line. Take off your clothes. Put your buttocks in your pocket and spread your hands. Now bend over. Now bend over. Bend over, bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Bend over and spread those cheeks. Im going to insert my notes from an isotope that I scored off Einstein while he peeled off his pimples with plutonium. Why cant he perform the way he did earlier? (Well, Ill tell you). Whats wrong with him? Hes lost his style; hes lost his spunk; hes no good; hes funk. He smells like a cowbell. He has the personality of a road accident. He has the IQ of salamander sweat. And he smells like stale cat piss shoved intravenously through the IV of an aging welfare patient. Welfare, all fare, were all fair on this universe, and Ive got a ticket to ride you any time I want because Im abusive. Dont cry at me with your wah-wah pedal. Dont plug in your amplifier and tell me you paid your dues. Dont tell me you went for this guys act and you went for your own fame. Dont tell me that Im to blame.
And I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. I took little, I took little pieces of seaweed. Pieces of seaweed. I took little pieces of seaweed. Pieces of. I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did. I really did. It was all over your body. Eh, eh, your body looked like a road map, and my best friend got so confused, he thought you were a doubting Thomas and he put his fingers in your holes that I left there after I beat you up with an axe. And he put you in the car, and he drove you down to Sylmar to meet this guy who used to play for the big guy. You know, the big guy. Ill be Frank with ya, ya know. (Snork) But, no. It wasnt good enough for her. She wanted a sensitive guy. So I fuckin tok her out to the beach and I put some sandpaper in the KY Jelly -- because you always hurt the ones you love. (Oh, thats why you beat her up with an axe). I let the pelicans, I let the pelicans, have their way with her. (Im over here, Shorts. Here Shorts...). And I threatened her with a pelican. I threatened her with a pelican. Dont tell me that Im to blame. Ya tell me, tell me, tell me, ya tell me youre so good; you tell me youre so fine; you tell me youre so wonderful; you tell me youre sublime. You tell me youre so good; you tell me youre so fine; you tell me youre so wonderful; you tell me youre sublime, sublime, sublime, sublime, sublime. Eh ha, eh ha, ha, ha, eh, ha ha...
And he judges. He judges. He says whats good and whats right, and whats good and whats right, and whats good and whats right, and whats good as whats right. He says, This product will sell many units in that demographical area. And I took little pieces of seaweed and I caused stretch marks to appear all over your little body. Yes I did; yes I did; yes I did; yes I did....
I'll hold you so tightly That you'll never suspect That I may not always care 'Cause I live to deceive womans Who are so lonely
I'm the Beast of Love And you just got in my way.
At the end of this night You'll not care to admit That the time has come To call it a day Women won't believe my kisses Are just like Satan's lies
I'm the Beast of Love And your love is old and grey
Left by the lions Torn by the hounds Picked by the vultures Scattered on the ground You wouldn't have fallen But your eyes were above The belly of the Beast of Love
We walked the sands at sunset Oh, what a dickens of a time we had A time to laugh, a time to talk We had so much fun For a moment I nearly forgot That I'm the Beast of Love And you are my helpless prey
Left by the lions Torn by the hounds Picked by the vultures Scattered on the ground You wouldn't have fallen But your eyes were above
The belly of the Beast of Love The belly of the Beast of Love
You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit
Somethin's changed Though I know my heart ain't plastic I guess through the years it's grown A little more elastic
'Cause this time cryin' time Didn't last as long And my heart just needed minor repairs And it feels pretty strong (Feels pretty strong) And it's movin' right along
You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit
You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart
Losin' love, it used to crush me Now it doesn't I just figured it was meant to be Or it wasn't
So if you wanna know Now that you're gone, the shape I'm in You never clipped the wings of my heart It's gonna fly again.
You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart when you split You only cracked it just a bit
You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break it You didn't break my heart
I got somethin' that keeps me goin' I got a habit of comin' around, honey You didn't run me off the highway You only slowed me down
I didn't even know what I was doing Didn't even know what I was saying I felt my face and it was inside out Well I could hear the blood rushing through my brain And I could see tiny lights shootin' from my veins And little voices in a swarm
Throat is like a fireplace Tongue is like a razor blade Illuminated before me Looks to me like little honey bees
Well they were neat and sweet with nectar dripping from their cheeks It sounded like this... No really, just like that But they they danced it sounded like this...
It was dark and I was freakin' Somebody seduced me into sex My body moved like drop frame video My hips looked like this...
It feels pretty good, though Feels good though, feels good!
And when that feeling you always get Well it made me make a mess And I was left in a puddle of... Honey
In the distance I could hear Words of wisdom whizzing by my ear So I shut my brain And let the filth run down the drain My inner eye revealed the queen bee With a turban wrapped around her head Shaking her fist at me, she was angry And it sounded like this...
When I awoke I thought I'd died I actually did but not inside I lay there swimming in a pool of scum and smut that my ego threw up
Now I walk on water Now I see the light
And if you see my friend the queen Then you'll be alright
