God Lives Underwater

Sometimes life's not fair
I correct myself, I mean all the time
I feel like complaining, but it only bothers you
The things I do, they make your blood run cold

There's a lot of things
That no one likes but

I want the answers now
Must be all confused somehow
Did you say what I heard about?
I've heard a million things
Gossip's being sent to me
I don't wanna believe it
Until I hear it from your mouth

Tell me why are you friendly to my face?
What I mean is barely nice
When I'm not around, hear you like to put me down
Embarassment is what I get

I can see
See the signs
I've been waiting here for you
But nothing's getting through

I am gone
Up in the clouds
Praying I can turn,
Turn myself around

A year ago
I gave it a year
I hoped it wouldn't happen
Now its here

It took so long
I can't carry on
I know the reason that you left me
You had nothing more to give me

No more love

I can see
See your eyes
I can feel your heady stare
I run my fingers through my hair

I am high
As one can be
And I hope I don't come down,
I hate when I come down

A month ago
I know you lied
Took my life into your hands
You just don't understand

How it feels
To be free
I know the reason that you left me
You had nothing more to give me

I'm breathing the air
The air I always breathe
I don't have a lot
I want someone to share it with me

I really only want a few things
They've all been taken away
What does the next life bring?
I just want to feel O.K.

I'm searching forever
For someone or something
I want to be high
And I want someone to love me

I've spent 23 years now
Trying to get by
Other people make it day to day
I still wonder why

I really only had a few thing
They've all turned to tears
One tried to kill me
The other kept me here
I'm still here

Breathe
Turning blue and I can't breathe
In the water underneath
And we're way too deep
To save ourselves

Now that you don't know me
And I've been away for long
Have you also been growing?
Seen how we were wrong

Deep
My misery is now complete
I've been falling under feet
And I'm way too deep
To save myself

Please
I'm losing consciousness it seems
Like everyone's on top of me
And these suffocating dreams
Are real to me

Here I am
Understand
No one sees

How I feel
How's it feel
To be free?

Why does everything come true
When I don't want it to?
Everyone and everything, pushing me to weaken
Feel like I am sinking
Wish that I could push this all away
Push this all away

Please, you remember
I will never be the same
Please, you remember
I will always be ashamed

Here I am
Back again
In the trees

Now I'm lost
And I've lost
What was me

How could anyone give me
What I want and what I need?
Everyone and everything, pushing me to weaken
Feel like I am sinking
Wish that I could push this all away
Push this all away

I know what it takes to normalize
To slow me down, to cut me down to size

I wanna get that feeling
To touch the ceiling
To send me reeling
I want to know
How can I ease my mind, ease my mind?

Yeah, I'm being taken away
I'm feeling that I'm finding my way
To something that's completely overwhelming me

I get tired of most everything
I anxiously await the gifts you bring

I spend my time thinking
And I hate thinking
To stop this thinking
I want to know
How can I pass the time, pass the time?

I'm scared of you
There's nothing I can do
No sense in wasting time
I want you out of my mind

You make me feel unhappy
I wish you weren't real
You only make me unhappy
And I can't deal
With it

I never wanted you
But I'm afraid it's true
You're gonna catch me by surprise
I hope there's time to realize

All along, we knew the answers all along
Why did it take you so long? I hear you say

It all depends on how your point of view can change
Round and round, rearrange

I don't count the days

All along, I didn't listen physically
I have come to find what's not mine
I thought was a given

And all the while, I feel like I could go either way
Behind your backs, I just may

I don't count the days

All along, I could do anything
Anything without you, anyway

Why won't you face me?
It's been such a long time
I'm walking a fine line
Now we're walking out

Why can't I see things
Like I'm supposed to see things?
I'm not supposed to be this way
Not this time around

Sometimes I feel so empty
So much pain I still ignore
Everyday I endure
Sometimes I feel so empty
So much pain I still ignore
Everyday you want more

My expectations
Were high in the first place
Were high in the worst way
It leaves me so down

I give up easily
Can't speak so freely
Won't someone release me?
Just this time around

Sometimes I feel so empty
So much pain I still ignore
Everyday I endure
Sometimes I feel so empty
So much pain I still ignore
Everyday you want more

The past few years have been so trying
Between the drugs and the drinking and the touring
In my eyes I'm stabilized
And all I need is you, someone who understands

I know you now
The shortest yet
And we just met
I thought that you'd be different
Then again
You came on strange
But still the same
As what I know
I try and try and then
I'm alone again

Now my life's become a challenge
Because my confidence has been decreased profoundly
In my mind I've realized
I'm stuck on a worthless hill with no one who understands

Morals so undefined
New schemes to undermine
He likes to leave a burn
So much for live and learn

My savior and his low behavior
Someday everybody owes me a favor
If the look on my face is any indication
I keep giving in to temptation

He creates a false pretense
That it was self defense
He just can't mask the flavor
My savior and his low behavior

I live under a sky of angels
Bulletproof vest of all my dangers
I've been deceived by all the flowers planted around me
Sweet smell replaced all the, all the vapors

Everyday you think I live a lie
You think I want to die?
But can't you see I'm what I want to be?
Everyday you think I live a lie
You think I want to die?
But can't you see I'm what I want to be?

I've been misunderstood about my being around
I can't seem to stop letting people down - or that's what they say
I still don't care about them or what they're thinking, what they're thinking
It's not fair for anyone to believe them or me or the papers

(Oh, jeez, you know what I did?)
(What'd you do?)

Now I know what my destiny is
It's the ultimate rift
In the little will I have

I'm not gonna last 'til the end
I'm still my only friend
Now I know what to do

Much to your dismay
I'm choosing a day
To find my new home
And the answer to my biggest question

I just can't figure myself out
Or what's surrounding me
Or what I surround myself with

A two ton fist is pushing me
To the streets again
Looking for relief in my restricted state

I wake from dreams of high
Before I rush by
A crush I have on you
You're a lover most true
I'm falling off again
You'll always be my friend
She never lies
But she eats me alive

Elastic mind that always bends
For my drug of choice
I think I hear her voice

It's like Pixies and Angels and Cocteau Twins
So beautifully sung
But it's a noose, she's hung