Andy

(Ladies and gentlemen
the one and only
takin care of plenty, plenty of business
fantastically and we're about ready to have a party)
Ooohhh~

*(Get down)
(Gimme an intro)

**(Everybody say)
U-g-l-y U-g-l-y x2

Introduction of the Ugly Duckling, we're here
Mista mista microphone, when you put one in, gonna get it in gear
When you make a tight fist, put it in the air
Then you pump it like this I do more legwork than a centipede
Or when you're goin uphill on a 10-speed When I MC I harness energy
Break mics like sellery with mental telepathy
Then I melt them down till they vaporize
Then imprinted on the ground by my laser eyes
(Oh yeah) It's Andy, Dustin and Rod
Makin listeners applaud with their heads when they nod

Put the motor in the red, I've got the hot shred
And some Monroe Shocks for rocks on the road ahead
Like fire drills we keep you on your heels
With the analog sound off the two-inch reels
Wherever I'm at I burn a hole in the map Like a Cartwright, but I
spark mics
Ignite and keep it tighter than a facelift
There's so much flavor in the air, you can taste it
Leave it up to me to put the b in b-boy
I bring a point to your ear - like Leonard Nemoy
Dizzy Dustin is my nom de plume In bloom on this Ugly introduction
tune

*Repeat

**Repeat (x2)

Check, check, check out my melody, I'm havin some fun
Goin Public like the Enemy - Number One
Steppin on the scene with or without pay
Gettin Wilder than Gene till the crowd goes (Hey!)
I rock events with much confidence And catch compliments on all
continents
So clap your hands everybody, Germany to Amsterdam
From the USA to the whole UK, Scandinavia and Japan

We been overseas, on tour with the JB's
Dizzy Dustin's introduction for this new LP

Now we don't record keyboard I use it for a kneeboard
We're not the other groups We only ride loops (fat loops)
We keep it pure, been into this before Rap had its own section in the
record store
And that's how it is, you can ask Diz Listen for yourself, here he is

(Well alright) There's three in UD, we're each from Long Beach
While Andy and I write, Rod searches for beats
They call him Einstein and everywhere you find us
He's right behind us where the DJ stands
Pullin out black plates from one of his many crates
Scratchin like the Supreme Team with his hands
Einstein

*Repeat (x4)

[CHORUS]
I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it like this
I did it like that
Now Ugly Duckling's gonna take you back
I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it like this
I did it like that
Now Andy Cooper's gonna take you back

To the planet, rock
I used to produce hip-hop
Poundin' rhythms with my hands on my school desk top
'Till my teacher would make me stop
I'd wait for recess
Then I'd beat ? at a ?? contest
At home I'd slide across my kitchen floor
Doing moonwalks
All I needed was my windbreaker and some new socks
Not to mention the extension cord adapter
To attatch a little radio that was my ghetto blaster
I remember making my first songs, no sound board
Just messin with the tape deck pressin record
And Pause
There were flaws in the tape and hiss
But now I'm an Ugly Duckling and do it like this
We take a beat in a rap
And then delete it to track
Then keep repeating it back
'Till it's completed intact
So that the people react

Out of they seat and they clap
From the petite to the fat
On every street on the map
So when my brother laughed and my dad said it was a fad
I went into my room with a pen and a pad
And wrote a little rap about my fat cat
Now I'm the cat with the phat rap
And I did it like that

[CHORUS]

When I rapped with this cat named Jafette
Doin vocals through the headphones, live to casette
Low tech
I could get out a dodge to Tahiti
When I wrote grafiti in the garage
I hide like camoflauge in my cubicle
Workin' my fingers to the cuticle
To

It's friday night, on the streets of L.A.
I'm going out cuz I've been working at the job all day
Got the info line number, with directions to the site
Ugly Duckling on the bill to rock the mic right
Tonight, I gotta be hype, and get the crowd reacting
I call Dizzy's house he says, "What's up", I say what's happenin'

Get my DJ on three way Don't forget to bring the guestlist
See the freshest Off the wall like asbestos
I rock without the D tops Walk without the reebok's
Talk until the beat stops Than pick it back up with the beatbox
And yo, I gotta ride so you need not

Cool, I'm leavin' at 7:30, we can caravan
To the jam With Einstein, the two hand man
In command like a general Lighter then a dinner roll
Solid as a mineral Open like a centerfold
Hey, save it for the chorus The crowd looks enormous
So give a peak performance

I need a soundcheck, so my mic sounds nice
I'll be in it in a minute like microwave rice
I grab the mic like a dynamite stick
Then light the wick?? And keep it lit
With ever lyric I spit
Beats to the rhymes We stick like turpentine
Dizzy Dustin, Andy Cooper and Young Einstein

It's the jam

*Scratches* You know it's on
Scratches* Get with it ya
Scratches* What, what ya wanna do?
Scratches* Rock, rock the old school
Scratches* Just listen real close
Scratches*

When we take crowds back to the days of the 10 yard fight
The gyro mic They jump like excite bike
Guaranteed delight When the needle drops sound
Man, EQ the level so the needle rock
And then, hand over the microphone I get a type grip
Cause when it's time to swing I hit like Mike Schmidt

Get this I drop more lines then a tetris
When young einstein throws on the dookie necklace
He's the drum major With the sum to the fader
Attacking the wax, on the record player
Working up a sweat Till we close the set
With the song that's *fresher then a moist toilette*

Now when the jam is over
It's hugs and hanshakes And than the band breaks
For shakes and pancakes I'm home for brand flakes and Z's
Hit the backmat Take a hot shower
And a cat nap please Don't call me in the mornin'
Cause I'm on the sleep-in, mode Dizzy Dustin We did it again

For you, it might be over For me, it's just beginnin'
The club must be endin' Cuz no one's bartendin'
They turn on the bright light And I feel like a gremlin
The jam is breakin' up But at my pad, it's reassemblin'
Take one own the market Then I ride our limit
Everyone's invited So I hope you be attendin'

It's the jam

*Repeat

1 ... 2 ... 3 ...

[CHORUS]
This is just a little samba
With all the typical drama
Feel the rhythm of the conga (come on)
This is just a little samba

[Andy and Dizzy tag-teaming]

Yo man, I'm living grandiose, puffin on an Ambassador
Paid in full, kill the bull, like a matador
Flash the cash, make my album cover shinier
My head's spinning like a discus, and if this is [just a little samba]
then I'm straight, with the seven-course meal on my plate
I put my leftovers in the doggie bag
I got moves like Mr. Miyagi had
With the "wax off, wax on," I'll play you like Zaxxon
Girls love my songs, sunbathing on the back lawn
"Ju ... look ... mahvellous"
C'mon young lady, get in the car with us, superstar deluxe (hey!)
I'm always animated cause my game's so tight, that I keep it laminated
Well, if that's true, why you living with ya mama?
Shh! It's just a little samba ...

[CHORUS w/ EINSTEIN SCRATCHING]
This is just a little samba
With all the typical drama
Feel the rhythm of the conga (come on)
This is just a little samba

Yo, I make all the mon-ay
No you don't
I get all the girls
No you don't!
I put it down on fools!
No you don't (huh?)
No you don't (man ...)
No you don't!

You might spot me in Versace suits
When I'm at award shows paparazzi shoot
I own a fly home, four-car garage
With rides for me and my entourage
Hold up, I got a email
It's a female
Girls pressing on me like Lee Nail
I make the hits that you hear on the jukebox (so?)
Chicks come hotter than Arizona rooftops

I got this one, she's a Playmate
When I met her she was looking at my gold Dizzy nameplate
But I had to vacate, I said "I'm gonna miss our date cause my plane's late"
(plane?)
Yeah, I own a plane and I also bought a yacht
So I scuba in Bermuda when the weather gets hot
And I travel a lot ...
The why you livin with ya mama?
Man, it's just a little samba!

[CHORUS]
This is just a little samba
With all the typical drama
Feel the rhythm of the conga (come on)
This is just a little samba

I make all the money
No you don't
I get all the girls
No you don't!
I got my own sitcom!
No you don't (huh?)
No you don't (what?)
No you don't!
I star in the movies
No you don't
I run my own label
No you don't
Man, I only date models
No you don't (huh?)
No you don't (hey?)
No you don't!

[Talking]
Man, I got more property than Monopoly
No you don't

Man, I drive a flying car!
No, no you don't
Man, I got two pet sharks ...
Your mom lets you have sharks in the house?
Man, ge ... wha?
C'mon man, the song's over man

They got the eye on the gold chain
They got the eye on the gold chain

When Young Einstein was a kid in the mid
80's he saw how the b-boys lived
They wore the fat gold to rock the rap song
Einstein's takin off, now he's puttin it on
There's not a pair of eyewear that can stop the glare
Of the Duke, overexposed in photo shoots
He salutes the days of old with chains of gold
He looked around then found that the chain was sold
Over to the airport he sets off metal detectors
Respect us, pull em to the side and give em lectures
Going through his luggage, heh, they're tryin to test him
Threaten to arrest him, askin lots of questions
Like, "why do you have a box of tissue"
"To remove" "What?" "All the oily finger residue"
So look but don't touch, and let my chain shine
Yo, Put it on Einstein

[CHORUS]
They got the eye on the gold chain, that's right
They got the eye on the gold chain, that's right

All right now here we go
Young Einstein
Check it out
My big gold rope
Always rock a jam every time I perform
Young Einstein
Check it out
Fat gold chain
Always rock a jam every time I perform
Einstein got a dookie gold rope

>From Panama to Canada Einstein's the man of the
Year, get the trash outta here like a janitor
Chain so heavy when he step in the place
You could tap him on the shoulder and he fall on his face
Dropped the single fresh mode, you thought we would fold
Thirty days later, Einstein had gold
So what you sayin?
My man scans the collectibles
For the LP chock full of delictibles
For the MP he could reshape the lead break
Cut it in half
Changin the speed rate
Or make it self-arrange(?) when it's on the turntable
He wore the dookie when we met Queen Elizabeth
Asked her was she jealous, she said "A little bit"
I guess a crown jewel never compares
To the rope that the Einstein wears
They got the eye on the gold chain
They got the eye on the gold chain

repeat CHORUS

What's the place
where you see more girls
that you'd like to pick up
than any other place
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
If I said you had a beautiful body
would you hold it against me
Can I buy you a drink
Your glass is empty
What's a nice girl like you doing
in a place like this
Anyway you come here often
Is this seat taken miss
America Well you
should be a model I'm
New in town so could you
show me around
Can I call you sometime
I'd like to get to knowin
Your place or mine
I love your eye they where you goin
Now honey didn't do
what everyone else does
She stood out without
making a scene because she was
The hottest but the most modest
in a long plaid skirt
And a shirt with a little
picture of Ernie & Bert
Now she played no sports
except scholastic sorts
An academic epidemic
during book reports
The starlet of a play
not a harlot to lay
So all the school mad that
she wouldn't give it away See
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
When Joe the superhoe said
Baby what's your sign
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Cut my bangs so they don't hang
then shampoo the doo
Get the hair out of my eye
so I can look into
Of you master and capture the flag
In a 65 rag with brand new tags
She's for real I feel
chills they're multiplyin
it's so electrifyin
it's so electrifyin
No denyin that I'm tryin to
undress her With that phony rap
you wouldn't even get near it
She wouldn't go
for sugar coated lyrics
So other girls would say
She must be gay
And call her a Lenny Dykstra
But soo what
They really wanted to just like her
Jealous I won't offend her
I'll treat her tender
Defend her and send her
letters and such
But there's no rush and there's no
Baby you're so fine
I wanna make you mine
Cuz honey simply
ignored the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
When Joe the superhoe said
Baby what's your sign
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
There's no Baby you're so fine
I wanna make you mine
Cuz Honey was offended
by the pick up line

Now the main dude who wooed women
tried to make his move
On her so we all watched to see
what she would do
He moved in Hey baby doll
what's up with us
And honey was like Excuse me
but I'm gonna be late for my bus
So I stepped up to her
and said here's what I'm about
Long walks deep thoughts
I'd like take you out I won't
Play games or try to
take the truth and bend it
I just wanna talk
and she wasn't offended
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
When Joe the superhoe said
Baby what's your sign
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
There's no Baby you're so fine
I wanna make you mine
Cuz Honey was offended
by the pick up line
The pick up line
the pick up line
Honey was offended
by the pick up line
When the R&B singer
said let's bump n grind
Honey was offended
by the pick up line

[CHORUS]
We're gonna rock on top tonight
We're gonna rock on top tonight
We're gonna rock on top tonight
We're gonna rock on top tonight [on top of the world] (x2)

I'll take a raider saber from both end of the equator
And walk without a compass to rock the whole circumference
To keep you out your seats and reach just like a tooth-
Brush, then watch the dudes rush the DJ booth
I hold mic control with the slightest Midas touch
And keep it goin til the mornin or the mic blows up
I've been fresh
Before my first single was pressed
Four italians, but no medallions, around my neck
I keep it off my chest like a cardiac
Arrest, no heart attack from stress
Let's, keep it intact like tour dates on the map
Let me see for myself and prove the fact
That, the world ain't flat break out the welcome mat
On top of Mount Fuji eatin sushi
We ride on 747's not DC-10's
We took a two-week vacation and we'll do it again

[CHORUS]

Gonna take a trip around the globe, we're leavin tomorrow
For Guadalajara then Mount Kilamanjaro
I gotta get my passport put it in my Jansport
Headed for the airport to get on the transport
I can't wait to hit the beach in Waikiki
And fall into the romantic enchantment of the Tiki
With the chick in Indonesia to a Russian ballerina
Or the girl from Ipanema baby step in the arena
Ladies in Latin America call me Andy
And tell me that the Ugly Duckling sound is muchos grande
We also have listeners from Tokyo to Seoul
And the whole SOuth Pole where they're keepin it cold
I heard that bootleg on record in the UK
That some can't be rock on top like a toupee
Snackin on a honey-roasted peanut from the flight
Tell you what we're gonna do tonite, come on!
[CHORUS]

Rock on top
Rock on top
Rock on top
Rock on top tonight

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah(4x)

[Verse 1: Andy]
Come on a trip to the centre of the nebulous place
I'm your host (Space Ghost!) on this cosmos chase
It's a pattern around Saturn, so watch the rings
Then follow the flight plan to Andromeda's wings
Point your kaleidoscope at the balance expanse
Never any bending the surface of molecular plans
Enhance, the beat can secret so can search's and saves
and signals, but not radio waves
Cause' you've tuned into the top ten, the pop is repetitive
A sedative that would make insomniacs relax
Into a mummified state, but I'll unravel the clock
Travel the harp, and feed a bon-bon to a ton-ton
In other words, I duck and make the cargo drop
In simple terms, I stop and rock the spot
So I'm working on a new anti-gravity design
In the jet-propulsion lab with Young Einstein,(and)
Let me play Willy Mays and say hey to Dizzy Dustin
Formerly known as cue-ball, back when I was called too tall
But now with U-Haul, packing up, making moves to new places
(Including the Oasis!)
It's not a mirage, but a barrage of spoken ballet
Everyone is spun by the tongue, conductors DJ
It takes your ora from the world of the morbid
Shoot you through a vacuum, put you into orbit

[Chorus - Instrumental]
Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah (4x)

[Verse 2: Andy]
Head to handicap, contact someone
To the percussion club drubbing up the non-hum drum
As it runs it and thus becomes a product of the ugly
Now we can make it lovely (Like)
A life can become a slow death, but one is left
It's sold to a genie with bandini on it's breath
Never came to baggage claim, so no venture over the fences into the frontier
Where regret is varied consequences
On the laster days, there

Dizzy Dustin! My main man
Dizzy Dustin! He's out of sight
Dizzy Dustin! Pay attention
Dizzy Dustin! Now alright
Dizzy Dustin! He's too much
Dizzy Dustin! That's all I know
Dizzy Dustin! Hey everybody
Dizzy Dustin! Listen here

Me without a mic is 23 without the Nikes
A writer said we light, but don't believe the hype
I'm fluid like a druid when he's circlin stones
I chrome the conduit and hear through headphones
Write words to match, put the herb in the batch
I shove em in the oven and watch em react
In fact, I bring it back like a holding car
Consumers take it off the rack like a bowling ball
I admit it, critics get under my skin
I discipline men with the ink from a pen
Or better yet with a Bic, I'm razor-sharp like it's chic
I break the ice like a pick, nice without the Vicks
(Dizzy Dustin) comin with combustion
Yvan Drago, I must break you when I rush in
Cause yo, it's disgusting
People treat rap like an urinal
We take it personal
I do encores on tours, night after night
Takin flight like condors, clingin the light
I hold on tight when I'm flippin acrobatics
Grippin microphones like my hands were two magnets
Hip-hop's detergent all-purpose
Quarantine the scene, clean the stains below the surface
Put it in your box, don't knock it till you try it
And all the Ugly people be quiet

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

[ VERSE 1 ]
Watch your ears, we're gonna drop the bomb
Plug it in, turn it on, turn it up, come on
Yo Greg, put us in the red, shake a leg
Cause we gotta get it loud enough to wake the dead
Even in a library or an old folks home
We raise the low tone till the speaker's blown
Overloaded to the max, song one to the final track
On ten and eleven is a spinal tap
When you rock just let the fiber optics
Pound so they can knock you down like drop kicks
Your head spinnin, your heartbeat's irregular
Eardrums ringin, so words don't register
It's not classical, jazz or easy listening
This one is to be blasted like nitroglycerine
Don't be a shamed, let the bass sustain
Then press the ( ? ) till people complain

We gonna..
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

(And I like it, and I like it)
(Louder and watch your watts explode)
(Turn your radio up loud)

[ VERSE 2 ]
Now there's only way to play it, that's (louder)
Loud enough to turn your brain to clam chowder
We find levels that others overlook
To push and make the system overcook
I had a heavy metal neighbor, it used to be torture
My mother told him turn it down but he just ignored her
So I turned our speakers till they cornered his house
Turn it up to ten and now he's movin out
When I'm in my room I pump the volume
And play it so loud you can hear it on the moon
See, my sound system is world renowned
Until the cops come around, then I turn it down
Cool, it's okay, go 'head and press play
He gave his little speech, now he's drivin away
When the people next door say they heard enough
Pretend you didn't catch that, turn it up

We gonna..
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

LOUDER

(And I like it, and I like it)
(Loud music for your neighbors)
(Turn your radio up loud)
(And I like it, and I like it)
(The music comes on, strong, slammin)
(Turn your radio up loud)

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

[ VERSE 1 ]
Watch your ears, we're gonna drop the bomb
Plug it in, turn it on, turn it up, come on
Yo Greg, put us in the red, shake a leg
Cause we gotta get it loud enough to wake the dead
Even in a library or an old folks home
We raise the low tone till the speaker's blown
Overloaded to the max, song one to the final track
On ten and eleven is a spinal tap
When you rock just let the fiber optics
Pound so they can knock you down like drop kicks
Your head spinnin, your heartbeat's irregular
Eardrums ringin, so words don't register
It's not classical, jazz or easy listening
This one is to be blasted like nitroglycerine
Don't be a shamed, let the bass sustain
Then press the ( ? ) till people complain

We gonna..
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

(And I like it, and I like it)
(Louder and watch your watts explode)
(Turn your radio up loud)

[ VERSE 2 ]
Now there's only way to play it, that's (louder)
Loud enough to turn your brain to clam chowder
We find levels that others overlook
To push and make the system overcook
I had a heavy metal neighbor, it used to be torture
My mother told him turn it down but he just ignored her
So I turned our speakers till they cornered his house
Turn it up to ten and now he's movin out
When I'm in my room I pump the volume
And play it so loud you can hear it on the moon
See, my sound system is world renowned
Until the cops come around, then I turn it down
Cool, it's okay, go 'head and press play
He gave his little speech, now he's drivin away
When the people next door say they heard enough
Pretend you didn't catch that, turn it up

We gonna..
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up
Turn it up, turn it up

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

Louder, louder

LOUDER

(And I like it, and I like it)
(Loud music for your neighbors)
(Turn your radio up loud)
(And I like it, and I like it)
(The music comes on, strong, slammin)
(Turn your radio up loud)