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| 2. |
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Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark?
Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark? Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone? Because jellicles are and jellicles do Jellicles do and jellicles would Jellicles would and jellicles can Jellicles can and jellicles do When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet? Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air? Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street? Do you know how to go to the heaviside layer? Because jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicles do and jellicles can Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicles do and jellicles can Jellicles can and jellicles do Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant? Familiar with candle, with book, and with bell? Were you Whittington's friend? The Pied Piper's assistant? Have you been an alumnus of heaven and hell? Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a lynx? Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat? Were you there when the pharaoh commissioned the Sphinx? If you were, and you are, you're a jellicle cat Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire We can run up a wall, we can swing through the trees We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Can you sing at the same time in more than one key? Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss? And can you (as cats do) begin with a 'C'? That always triumphantly brings down the house? Jellicle cats are queen of the nights Singing at astronomical heights Handling pieces from the 'Messiah' Hallelujah, angelical Choir The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat' Life to the everlasting cat! Feline, fearless, faithful and true To others who do-what Jellicles do and jellicles can Jellicles can and jellicles do Jellicle cats sing jellicle chants Jellicles old and jellicles new Jellicle song and jellicle dance Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Practical cats, dramatical cats Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats Oratorical cats, Delphicoracle cats Skeptical cats, Dispeptical cats Romantical cats, Pedantical cats Critical cats, parasitical cats Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats Statistical cats and mystical cats Political cats, hypocritical cats Clerical cats, hysterical cats Cynical cats, rabbinical cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats Jellicle songs for jellicle cats |
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I have a gumbie cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots
Her coat is of the tabby kind with tiger stripes and leopard spots All day she sits beneath the stairs or on the steps or on the mat She sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a gumbie cat That's what makes a gumbie cat But... When the day's hustle and bustle is done Then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun And when all the family's in bed and asleep She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice Their behavior's not good and their manners not nice So when she has got them lined up on the matting She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting I have a gumbie cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots The curtain cord she likes to wind and tie it into sailor knots She sits upon the windowsill or anything that's smooth and flat She sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a gumbie cat That's what makes a gumbie cat But... When the day's hustle and bustle is done Then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun She thinks that the cockroaches need employment To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts A troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts With a purpose in life and a good deed to do And she's even created a beetles tattoo! For she's a jolly good fellow! Thank you my dears... |
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The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat If you put me in a flat, I would rather have a house If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for me to shout it For he will do as he did do And there's nothing doing about it The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore When you let me in, then I want to go out I'm always on the wrong side of every door And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about I like to lie in the bureau drawer And I make such a fuss if I can't get out The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for you to doubt it For he will do as he did do And there's no doing anything about it The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast My disobliging ways are a matter of habit If you offer me fish, then I always want a feast When there isn't any fish, then I won't eat rabbit If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sneer For I only like what I find for myself So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears If you put it away on the larder shelf The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing The Rum Tum Tugger Doesn't care for a cuddle But I'll leap upon your lap in the middle of your sewing For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for me to spout it For he will do as he did do And there's nothing doing about it! |
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Remark the cat who hesitstes toward you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin She haunted many a low resort near the grimy road of Tottenham Court She flitted about the No Man's Land From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand" And the postman sighed as he scratched his head "You'd really had thought she ought to be dead" And who would ever suppose that That was Grizabella, the glamour cat Grizabella, the glamour cat, Grizabella the glamour cat And who would ever suppose that That was Grizabella, the glamour cat |
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Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians Tight-rope walkers and acrobats They had an extensive reputation Made their home in Victoria Grove That was merely their center of operation For they were incurable given to rove If the area window was found ajar And the basement looked like a field of war If a tile or two came loose on the roof Which presently ceased to be waterproof If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests And you couldn't find one of your winter vests Or after supper one of the girls Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" And most of the time they left it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab They were highly efficient cat burglars As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab They made their home in Victoria Grove They had no regular occupation They were plausible fellows who liked to engage A friendly policeman in conversation When the family assembled for Sunday dinner Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on Argentine joint, potatoes and greens Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow The joint has gone from the oven like that!" Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" And most of the time they left it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way Of working together And some of the time you would say it was luck And some of the time you would say it was weather They'd go through the house like a hurricane And no sober person could take his oath Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer? Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both? When you heard a dining room smash Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash Or down from the library came a loud ping From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat? It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer And there's nothing at all to be done about that!" |
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Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme A long while before Queen Victoria's accession Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives And more I am tempted to say ninety-nine And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives And the village is proud of him in his decline At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall The oldest inhabitant croaks: Well of all things can it be really Yes. No. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye! My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy ALL: Well of all things can it be really No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye! My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy Well of all things can it be really No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye! My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy Well of all things can it be really No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye! My legs may be tottery, I must go slow And be careful of Old Deuteronomy |
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She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court She flitted about the No Man's Land From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand" And the postman sighed as he scratched his head "You'd really had thought she ought to be dead" And who would ever suppose that That was Grizabella, the glamour cat Grizabella, the glamour cat, Grizabella, the glamour cat |
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Midnight, not a sound from the pavement,
Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone. In the lamp light the withered leaves collect at my feet And the wind begins to moan. Memory. All alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days. I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was, Let the memory live again. Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters, And soon it will be morning. Daylight. I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life And I mustn't give in. When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory, too And a new day will begin. Burnt-out ends of smoky days The stale cold smell of morning The street lamp dies, another night is over, Another day is dawning. Touch me. It's so easy to leave me All alone with the memory Of my days in the sun. If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is. Look, a new day has begun. |
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Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce That we usually call him just Gus His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats But no longer a terror to mice or to rats For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time And whenever he joins his friends at their club (Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub) He loves to regale them, if someone else pays With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days For he once was a star of the highest degree He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree And he likes to relate his success on the halls Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls But his greatest creation as he loves to tell Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell I have played in my time every possible part And I used to know seventy speeches by heart I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag I knew how to act with my back and my tail With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts Whether I took the lead, or in character parts I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell In the pantomime season, I never fell flat And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat But my grandest creation, as history will tell was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat When some actor suggested the need for a cat And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained As we did in the days when Victoria reigned They never get drilled in a regular troupe And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop And he says as he scratches himself with his claws Well the theatre is certainly not what is was These modern productions are all very well But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell That moment of mystery when I made history As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell |
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Skimbleshanks the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine When the night mail's ready to depart Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble We must find him or the train can't start!" All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters Would be searching high and low Saying "Skimble, where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble Then the night mail just can't go" At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue And the passengers all frantic to a man That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear I'd been busy in the luggage van! Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes And the signal went "All clear!" They'd be off at last for the northern part of the northern hemisphere! Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge Of the sleeping car express From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards I would supervise them all more or less Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces Of the travellers in the first and the third He established control by a regular patrol And he'd know at once if anything occurred He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking And it's certain that he didn't approve Of hilarity and riot so that folk were very quiet When Skimble was about and on the move You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks He's a cat that couldn't be ignored So nothing went wrong on the northern mail When Skimbleshanks was aboard It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den With their name written up on the door And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet on And not a speck of dust on the floor There was every sort of light you could make it dark or bright And a button you could turn to make a breeze And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly "Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?" But I just behind him and was ready to remind him For Skimble won't let anything go wrong When they crept into their cozy berth and pulled the counterpane They ought to reflect that it was very nice To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice They can leave all that to the railway cat The cat of the railway train Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was busy keeping on the watch Only stopping here and there to catch a flea They were fast asleep at Crewe And so they never knew that I was walking up and down the station They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle Where I met the stationmaster with elation They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police If there was anything they ought to know about When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait For Skimbleshanks will help them to get out And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail Which says, "I'll see you again" You'll meet without fail on the midnight mail The cat of the railway train |
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Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there! Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there! You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air But I tell you once and once again Macavity's not there! Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there! He's outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's And when the larder's looted or the jewel case is rifled Or when the milk is missing or another peke's been stifled Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there! Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity He always has an alibi and one or two to spare What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there! And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time Just controls the operations: the Napoleon of crime! Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square But when a crime's discovered then Macavity Macavity, Macavity, Macavity When a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there! Macavity's not there! |
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You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffolees!
The original conjuring cat The greatest magicians have something to learn From Mister Mistoffolees' conjuring turn And you'll all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees He is quiet, he is small, he is black From the ears to the tip of his tail He can creep through the tiniest crack He can walk on the narrowest rail He can pick any card from a pack He is equally cunning with dice He is always deceiving you into believing That he's only hunting for mice He can play any trick with a cork Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste If you look for a knife or a fork And you think it is merely misplaced You have seen it one moment and then it's gone! But you find it next week lying on the lawn And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Well! My manner is vague and aloof You would think there was nobody shyer But voice has been heard on the roof When I was curled up by the fire And I've sometimes been heard by the fire When I was about on the roof At least they all heard that somebody purred Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours While I was asleep in the hall And not long ago this phenomenal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees And not long ago this phenomenal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees! |
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Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading Roses wither away Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn I am waiting for the day Midnight Not a sound from the pavement Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone In the lamp light the withered leaves collect at my feet And the wing begins to moan Memory, all alone in the moon light I can smile at the old days I was beautiful then I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warming Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters And soon it will be morning Daylight I must wait for the sun rise I must think of a new life And I mustn't give in When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too And a new day will begin burnt out ends of smoky days The stale cold smell of morning A street lamp dies Another night is over Another day is dawning Touch me It's so easy to leave me All alone with the memory of my days in the sun If you touch me You'll understand what happiness is Look, a new day has begun |
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Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the heaviside layer Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the heaviside layer Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the heaviside layer Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the heaviside layer |
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You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that You should need no interpreter to understand our character You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and games And learnt about our proper names Our habits and habitat But how would you ad-dress a cat? So first, your memory I'll jog And say: A cat is not a dog So first, your memory I'll jog And say: A cat is not a dog With cats, some say, one rule is true Don't speak 'til you are spoken to Myself I do not hold with that I say, you should ad-dress a cat But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form "O Cat!" Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream And you might now and then supply Some caviar or Straussburg pie Some potted grouse or salmon paste He's sure to have his personal taste And so in time you reach your aim And call him by his name A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that And there's how you ad-dress a cat A cat's entitled to expect These evidences of respect So this is this and that is that And there's how you ad-dress a cat! |
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