Derek Webb

Looking back at the road so far The journey's left its share of scars Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight Looking back it is clear to me That a man is more than the sum of his deeds And how You've made good of this mess I've made Is a profound mystery Looking back You know You had to bring me through All that I was so afraid of Though I questioned the sky, now I see why Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view Looking back I see the lead of love Looking back I can finally see (I'd rather have wisdom) How failures bring humility (than be) Brings me to my knees (a comfortable fool) Helps me see my need for Thee

When I'm cold and alone all I want is my freedom A sudden gust of gravity I stop wailing and kicking just to let this water cover me Cover me Only if I rest my arms, rest my mind you'll overcome me And swell up around me With my fighting so vain, with my vanity so fought I'm rolling over Cause in just the same way the stream becomes swollen up Swollen with cold up over the ground When my heart draws close to the close of autumn Your love (your love) abounds All this time I've been thinking, wondering how would it be To breathe in deep Guess I need to be careful when I ask for a drink Just might get what I ask for And I know just what you'd say to me That's why I don't ask you What would I ask you I'm like a bull-headed boy these days crying my toy is gone You're shiny and new Cause in just the same way the stream becomes swollen up Swollen with cold up over the ground When my heart draws close to the close of autumn Your love (your love) abounds Guess I'll drop my anger here before I float away And the chains around me An awful lot of talking, I don't leave you much to say You didn't ever leave me And my greatest fear was you'd leave me here A long time back my feet could touch the bottom

So many miles behind Still I drive with the pedal down I was off the map hours back It's beneath the seat. I think It's with two pennies and a match And something else. I can't remember But in the time that it would take to fish it out I'll be another mile gone And I feel so wrong Trying to feel right In light of all the things I've passed You'd think that I'd have learned Chorus: This is not the land was promised me Even as far as my eyes can see I'm so wound up, Lord. I can't even breathe And I don't want words I just want some peace Some peace. Some peace It seems I've misplaced my faith 'Cause it's 11:12, nothing's changed Well, nothing except the channel I'm afraid And the number there No. It's the same Oh, this must be the Saviour of the month And what I must have Where's the night gone? 'Cause I'm so tired and out of shape You've gotta get me up But I can't get up today 'Cause it's been so long Since I've felt right All the rote, rehearsal, proof You'd think that I'd have learned Repeat chorus Break me, break me, break me This is not the land was promised me Gotta get out of bed, get something to read And i gotta feed my brother, not my eyes If not, then I'll be all I despise

There's tarnish on the golden rule And I wanna jump from this ship of fools Show me a place where hope is young And a people who aren't afraid to love This world has nothing for me and this world has everything All that I could want and nothing that I need This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear. So when he says who will go, I am nowhere near. And the least of these look like criminals to me So I leave Christ on the street This world has held my hand and has led me into intolerance But now I'm waking up, but now I'm breaking up But now I'm making up for lost time

I am a bus driver and it's four in the morning And I'm pressing out my clothes beside my bed Fourteen years been on the job and with many miles behind Still I'm up at three thirty to make sure I'm there on time My car gets me along just fine to and from the station But my castle is this Houston Metro Bus My first stop is Ashbury. And the sign's been gone for years but all the same the people wait cause they know that I'll be there. What would you say if I told you that I won't be by today? Would you say that I'm just a bus driver and what do I know, just a bus driver and what do I know, just a bus driver and what do I know? Well, I'm always there by five fifteen and lately I've been early 'cause Judith likes to be in early to the bank. And she gives me conversation and a token good for riding. And she's happy all alone And then there's Charles in retail sales; and I hope they pay him well for the work that young man does Cause I've never seen the inside of a custom refrigerator but I know he's the first and last one there I wonder what they do all day, and their respective works. Suppose they give money and take money away. Still, I'm just orbiting this town with the post office my sun. And I'm circling again. And I wonder how this world would be if I was never here to drive this bus around from Ashbury to Main. Suppose this town would be the same but with one bus' less exhaust. But that bank and retail stores, they just wouldn't be the same. But what can I see from the limited confines of my bus driving seat Only me

I can't stop staring at myself My face reflected in this empty plate I can't decide if it's the devil Or if it's just something I ate 'Cause he's been down there all morning He's patiently waiting at my gate He's throwing rocks at my window "Hey won't you come on out and play with me" And everyday when I get up I see folks trading in their crowns For all the paper of plastic lives An opiate for the masses' hounds And pride like a vestige of lives lost The stench of the old folks coming around Now with the news I heard today I can't tell if this world is lost or found You go, I'll be waiting here And I'm awake, no I cannot sleep So I'll sit upon this rock is you I ain't standing up for nothing I've never seen my congressman But I can't deny that he exists 'Cause I've seen his legislation pass I've seen his name on the ballot list Same I can't deny this fallen world Though not my home it's where I live How can I preserve and light the way For a world that I can't admit I'm in 'Cause I know who you say you are But these crows can't be made to stop So I'll sit denying by this fire I ain't standing up for nothing Lack of interest leads to Lack of knowledge leads to Lack of perspective leads to Lack of communication leads to Lack of understanding leads to Lack of concern leads to This complacency denotes This approval denies The truth But I can't stop staring at myself It's my face reflected in this empty plate And I know that it's the devil So you lead, I'll be close behind So you speak, I'll hang on your words You gotta lift me from this hardened tree 'Cause I ain't standing up for nothing

I can see Jesus hanging on the cross I can see Jesus hanging on the cross I can see Jesus hanging on the cross He came looking for the lost And Love has come Love has come Love has come And it's giving me hope to carry on I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive" I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive" I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive" What a thing he did And Love has come Love has come Love has come And it's giving me hope to carry on I can see Love Love is all I want to see Love can make a beggar rich and set a prisoner free I know He can do it for you And God knows He did it for me. I can see Love Love is all I want to show you. Love, Love's the only way to go. And love, Love is all a man might need to know Yes, I know You know Peter put away his sword I can see Peter puttin' away his sword I can see Peter, he put away his sword He won't fight no more

i think this place is swell there's much familiar here i get my laundry done i havnt gotten phone calls in years when im feelin tired i can turn off all the lights with no one knockin on the door pretend im not alive, but daddy it's saturday and i dont wanna go outside and mow the grass today say would you love me just as much if i was just your stupid kid? i said would you love me just as much if i was just your stupid kid? well they tell me that im bright sometimes i think they're right but i guess i will enver know cuz i wont go outside some days its just so hot and others its so cold too much exposure to the sun will just make me look old but daddy it's saturday and i dont wanna go outside and mow the grass today said, would you love me just as much if i was just your stupid kid say, would you love me just as much if i was just your stupid kid well isnt it saturday sure feels like saturday so wake me saturday daddy its saturday well my watch is off to things i never seen with these walls higher than the cost of opportunity cuz im too big for my bed and ive outgrown my shoes but my fear of leaving is the one thing just cant lose but daddy its sat i dont wanna go outside and mow the grass today say, would you love me just as much if i went out and got a job if i never left your house ???????????????????????? if i never matter much more im just your stupid kid would i love me just as much if i was just your stupid kid

You say you want a living sacrifice Well I am a burnt offering Crawling off the alter and Back in to the fire And with my smoke-filled lungs I cry out for freedom While locking and chaining myself To my rotting desires AND I HATE THE STENCH, BUT I SWALLOW THE KEY. AND WITH IT STUCK IN MY THROAT, CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME, BUT I'M STILL A LONG WAY OFF I am shelled-shocked, and I have walked Through the trenches full of tears With the mortars of memory Exploding in my burning ears You stripped the trees of Lebanon And now you're stripping me Of the bark of false morality And the bite of selfish greed Can you hear me? I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME, BUT I'M STILL A LONG WAY OFF WILL YOU RUN TO ME? WILL YOU COME TO ME? WILL YOU MEET ME, WILL YOU GREET ME, WILL YOU DRAG ME HOME 'CAUSE I'M STILL A LONG WAY OFF I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME I'M COMIN' HOME, I'M COMIN' HOME

(vs. 1)
there are days i don't believe the words i say
like a life that i'm not living
a song that i'm not singing but to you

there are times that i believe i'm satisfied
like an intimate connection
despite this bad reception with you

(pre-chorus)
because i can't afford to pay
for most of what i say
so it's a lucky thing
that the truth's public domain

(chorus)
and i am like a mockingbird
i've got no new song to sing
and i am like an amplifier
i just tell you what i've heard
oh, i'm like a mockingbird

(vs. 2)
and yes, it's true that i need this more than you
like one whose name is many
have mercy, please don't send me away

(pre-chorus)
and i'll do all i can
to be a better man
oh i'll clean up this act
and be worse than we started

(chorus)

(vs. 1)
don't teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
don't teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music

don't teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law

(pre-chorus)
i don't wanna know if the answers aren't easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me

(chorus)
i want a new law
i want a new law
gimme that new law

(vs. 2)
don't teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice

don't teach me about loving my enemies

don't teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law

(pre-chorus/chorus)

(bridge)
what's the use in trading a law you can never keep
for one you can that cannot get you anything
do not be afraid
do not be afraid
do not be afraid

(vs. 1)
poverty is so hard to see
when it's only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we're all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus' neighborhood
where he's hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can't give me

(vs. 2)
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what's the deal
i don't sleep around and i don't steal
i want the things you just can't give me

(bridge)
because what you do to the least of these
my brother's, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can't give me

(verse. 1)
i have come to give you life
and to show you how to live it
i have come to make things right
to heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

(pre-chorus)
because i would rather die
i would rather die
i would rather die
than to take your life

(chorus)
how can i kill the ones i’m supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well
my enemies are men like me

(verse. 2)
peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication
it’s like telling someone murder is wrong
and then showing them by way of execution

(pre-chorus)

(chorus)

(bridge)
when justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war
the ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor

(chorus)

In God we trust
and the government is on His shoulders
in God we trust
through democracy and tyranny alike
in God we trust
He uses both good and evil men

in God we trust
so we fight for peace and He fights for us
in God we trust
even when He fights us for someone else
in God we trust
even when He looks like the enemy

in God we trust
even though our hearts are bankrupt
in God we trust
for more than just the value of our dollar bills
in God we trust
but there’s no gold behind these notes of reserve

in God we trust
even through our great presumption
in God we trust
even though He favors no nation-state
in God we trust
even when the blessing is a curse

(Chorus)
kiss me once more, please, before i go
kiss me sweetheart, and i won't go no more

'cause i feel a little drunk
like a man who just can't get enough
and there's just one thing that can cool my head

(chorus)

like an addict to his fix
so am i to your sweet lips
the wife of my youth, my drug of choice

(chorus)

(Vs. 1)
politics or love
can make you blind or make you see
make you a slave or make you free
but only one does it all

and it's giving up your life
for the ones you hate the most
it's giving them your gown
when they've taken your clothes

it's learning to admit
when you've had a hand in setting them up
in knocking them down

(chorus)
love is not against the law
love is not against the law

(vs. 2)
are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend

'cause you cannot choose your friends
but you choose your enemies
and what if they were one
one and the same

could you find a way
to love them both the same
to give them your name

(chorus)

black eye from staring through a keyhole at my lover
i swear it’s not from his fists
when stockholm syndrome comes to where they’re keeping you
you never know what time it is

black eye is all it’s gonna take for me to love you
it’s written in my constitution
if you go, you know i’m coming with you
blind, bound by love

time is no friend to the ones who wait
for daylight to come
time looks the same at the ones who hate
and the ones that do nothing

black eye is what i’m gonna paint for your protection
to cover the tracks that you’re leaving
i misplace my face so we can be together
red lips change how you’re perceiving

time is no friend to the ones who wait
for daylight to come
time looks the same at the ones who hate
and the ones that do nothing

You wanna rock with the cops on the front line
you wanna kick it with the people in the back
you strike a match and you throw back a cocktail
there’s got to be a better way

it is harder to stay
it is harder to wait
to out-love, to out-suffer them

i wanna dream up a world i wanna live in
i wanna spray it on a building downtown
i wanna protest with patience and a paycheck
‘cause there’s got to be a better way

it is harder to stay
it is harder to wait
to out-love, to out-suffer them

don’t wanna wait
no drugs or sleep
i wanna hold your hand grenade

God bless these bombs
baptize this rope
lie with us in the bed we’ve made

it is harder to stay
it is harder to wait
to out-love, to out-suffer them

freddie, please
how could you do this to me
how could you tell me you love me when you hate me
freddie, please

you know i love you honey
but i’ll bleed you dry with money
i’ll talk where i know you can hear
‘cause freddie can’t you see
brother, you’re the one who’s queer

freddie, please
how could you do this to me
how could you tell me you love me when you hate me
freddie, please

the stone’s been rolled away
and you’re picketing my grave for loving the things you hate
but why do you seek the living among the dead

freddie, please
how could you do this to me
how could you tell them you love me when you hate me
freddie, please

i don’t want the Spirit, i want the kick drum
i don’t want the Spirit, i want the kick drum
i know how it works, oh i’m not dumb
i don’t want the Spirit, i want the kick drum

like sex without love
like peace without the dove
like a crime scene without the blood
i don’t want the Spirit, you know i want the kick drum

i don’t want the Son, i want a jury of peers
i don’t want the Son, i want a jury of peers
mascara’s gonna run when you see my tears
i don’t want the Son, i want a jury of peers

like lies without the truth
like wine without the fruit
like a skydive without the chute
i don’t want the Son, you know i want a jury of peers
i don’t want the Spirit, you know i want the kick drum

i don’t want the Father, want a vending machine
i don’t want the Father, want a vending machine
i know what i want if you know what i mean
i don’t want the Father, want a vending machine

like heaven without gates
like hell without flames
like life without pain
i don’t want the Father, you know i want a vending machine
i don’t want the Son, you know i want a jury of peers
i don’t want the Spirit, you know i want the kick drum

i was free to live and love
and kill as i saw fit
i was at peace, there really was
no one i was at war with
the only common good
was that we understood
that laws unjust
were only good for breaking
that difference legalized instead of sameness
left nobody free

that was the day before
i married my conscience to the state

my taxes paid, these roads were laid
to places of my choosing
there were no eyes up in the skies
looking down into my bed
there was no government without our consent
keys were made for anyone who just claimed it
glass was all of every wall that framed it
from sea to shining sea

that was the day before
i married my conscience to the state

right and wrong were written on my heart
and not just in the laws that condemn me
now with caesar satisfied i can even do the things
that should offend me

now i can buy the proverbial gun
and shoot the proverbial child
while my uncle looks me in the eye
and speaks of freedom

and my conscience goes up on trial
in the courtrooms of the mind
where the judges all have sons
and all the lawyers are wounded

and the backs are all broke
and the bailiff is my brother
and the witness is my sister
and i’m guilty as hell

but by the afternoon i’m out
out on the pavement walking
wreaking of salt and blood

no hat upon my head
no shoes upon my feet
picking your body
from my teeth

no stars above me
no stripes upon me
free

baby when i put my hands on you
i feel like i’m touching the earth
i’m breaking ground and the soil is wet,
slipping through my hands

baby when i put my eyes on you
i follow the curves of the moon
the oceans rise and come crashing down
onto the shore

but your love is a noose around my neck
i give up and i know i will regret it
your love is a weight around my legs
but i don’t know who i am unless you’re holding me

baby when i listen to your words
they whisper to me like the wind
but they’re strong enough to blow me down
and destroy my house

but your love is a noose around my neck
i give up and i know i will regret it
your love is a weight around my legs
but i don’t know who i am unless you’re holding me

baby when listen to your words
baby when i put my eyes on you
baby when i put my hands on you
i love/hate you

i admire these men
brave and beautiful
grabbing the blade from all the wrong sides
like children

they bring skins and smoke
we bring shackles and guns
we’ll trade with them and then we’ll take them home

it’s simple
it’s so simple
they’re not like us

becoming a slave is easier than you think

there’s always a price to pay
it’s gotta hit somebody’s back
trust me, new worlds don’t just build themselves

progress has more than one face
evil isn’t always itself
there’s nothing you can change without changing
everything else

it’s simple
it’s so simple
if they’re not like us

becoming a slave is easier than you think

talk from every head
a product in every word
it’s under out feet and you know it’s over our heads
and everyone’s telling the truth
in languages that nobody speaks
till you listen close and hear what you believe

television
teleaction
tell me what you want

i was killed in a shopping cart
turned upside down and left for dead
i saw a clown try to speak to me
as i floated overhead
i found my way to a familiar place
i swear i’d been sometime before
i would’ve thought it was the marketplace
but i could not find the door

oh i have been to heaven
and i have walked the streets
but i couldn’t find a hand to hold
to keep me on my feet

paradise is a parking lot
a spot up front is your reward
and all the rest walk down streets of gold
to the house they could afford
i got lost in the swelling crowd
i could not afford to eat
you only have what you came in with
so i’m living on the street

oh i have been to heaven
and i found no relief
‘cause i couldn’t find a hand to hold
to keep me on my feet

i heard Jesus Christ was there
he had a car that’s bulletproof
that way everyone is safe
from the man who tells the truth

oh i have been to heaven
and i have walked the streets
but i couldn’t find a hand to hold
to keep me on my feet

like sex when you’re too young
like youth when you’ve got none
like home when you’re too drunk
like getting every you wanted with a line of bad credit
it’s never quite worth what you give up to get it

like style made by slaves
like bribes to throw the race
like women who know their place
like an indian casino or a tank of unleaded
it’s never quite worth what you give up to get it

stand back
you love it now but it’s too much

like fame for what you’re not
like joy that you bought
like please that never hits the spot
like security for liberty, you gotta admit it
it’s never quite worth what you give up to get it

stand back
you love it now but it’s too much

i’m building a house on the limb
i need something that could stop a war
but i’m beset on all sides
by extremists with eyes on my heart
so i lie to everyone

i’ve lied to so many lovers
i’ve gotten away with it too
but if God is against us
then who can be for us my friends
there’s justice for everyone

please take your hands off my brother
please take your laws off my lover
the agents of law
should always be blind and on time
till there’s freedom for everyone

where are your american brothers
american before they were named
they’re a huddling mass
with no oceans to cross for our shores
where there’s fortune for everyone

oppression is always oppression
no matter the reasons or means
for skin or for sex,
by stares or by fists it’s the same
there are blinders on everyone

i’ve looked through the eyes of my father
i’ve walked through lincoln’s backyard
and there’s still a backseat
when you ride on the bus through this town
there’s color on everyone

so we lie beneath a tree of no color
like an american flag umbrella
it keeps the elements out
and it’s stuck to the ground in this place
but there’s room for everyone

i know a way out of hell
we raise all our enemies’ children
after they’ve murdered ours
we affix all their scars to our walls
so there’s heartbreak for everyone

in the end it will all be ok
that’s what the wise men tell us
so if it’s not ok then it’s not the end, oh my friends
there’s hope for everyone

here's another story about the invisible knives
the elephant in the room trumpeting these lies
the slow hate, the hesitating voices in the dark
here's another story about the invisible wives

we've really got to stop talking and meeting like this
there's a better way coming and we both know what it is
but it's a hard sell, the ringing bell and you're licking your lips
we've really got to stop talking and thinking like kids

this is the end
this is the end
it's just the end

this is my murder trial
I'm going to testify
and I'll love you to the very end
the very end
the very end

cross my heart, hope to die
you are my firefly
and I'll love you to the very end
the very end
the very end

you are the anti-curse
death going in reverse
and I'll love you to the very end
the very end
the very end

I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna meet you and I wanna be friends
I wanna chase you all the way to Tennessee
I'll meet your parents at the airport bar
I'll take you out in my rental car
I wanna court you on the record label's dime

(Chorus)
come on baby let's go back to the start
take it back sugar then gimme your heart
don't you know baby I would do it all over again

I wanna buy you an old upright
I wanna accidentally stay all night
I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out
I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna fall in love and say we're just friends
I wanna race you all the way to Kansas City

(Chorus)

I wanna give you a diamond ring
and then we'll run into my ex-girlfriend
oh, I wanna sing songs while the sun's going down

(Chorus)

oh my darlin', you've must be a moving target just like me
they'll call you right, they'll call you left
they'll call you names of all your friends

you never know
what you'll have to do
baby don't let ‘em
don't let ‘em put a name on you

there's no categories just long stories waiting to be heard
(if there's love in your heart)
don't be satisfied when someone sums you up with just one word
(if there's love in your heart)

blindfold your heart
and feel for a clue
baby don't let ‘em
don't let ‘em put a name on you

(Bridge)
you say you wanna know the people I know
you say you wanna come in and crack my code, uh huh
catch me if you think you can
but count on me for nothing man, uh huh
it's gonna take more than hearing you say the only words you think I know
the truth may be with you today but may be gone tomorrow

baby don't let ‘em
don't let ‘em put a name on you

it's the desire of my heart
it's the anthem of my birth
I love you till you cross the line
then watch my faith turn into works

here's to hoping we evolve
here's believing that we will
blessed are those who seek for peace
in control are those who kill

(Chorus)
an I for an I
will never satisfy till there's nothing left to see

I was born to go to war
it comes so natural to me
sure as a hammer finds a nail
death is the only way to peace

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
I've got a killer instinct bringing out all of my best
I've got a poison conscience telling me to go with that
this may not work and I don't guarantee that it will
but I've got no choice unless you tell me who Jesus would kill

(Chorus)

I'm so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we've never had a savior on Capitol Hill

you can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you'd best beware
'cause at the Pentagon bar they're an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we'll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

(Bridge)
all of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President's ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

you can render unto Caesar everything that's his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it's the way of the world, the way of the gun
it's the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don't hold your breath or your vote until
you think you've finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

people love you the most for the things you hate
and hate you for loving the things that you cannot keep straight
people judge you on a curve
and tell you you're getting what you deserve
this too shall be made right

children cannot learn when children cannot eat
stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
children dream of wishing wells
whose waters quench all the fires of Hell
this too shall be made right

the earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
wars and abuses have nature groaning with death
we say we're just trying to stay alive
but it looks so much more like a way to die
this too shall be made right

there's a time for peace and there is a time for war
a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
a time for babies to lose their lives
a time for hunger and genocide
this too shall be made right

I don't know the suffering of people outside my front door
I join the oppressors of those who i choose to ignore
I'm trading comfort for human life
and that's not just murder it's suicide
this too shall be made right