 |
|
3:20 | 
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know I shun fancy things like electricty At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows, Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows...fool! And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone. I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline Got my Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin. But if I finish all my chores and you finish thine Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699. We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish Paradise It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish Paradise A local boy kicked me in the butt last week I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek, I really don't care, in fact I wish him well 'cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell. But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it, An Amish with a 'tude you know that's unheard of. I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat And my homies agree I really look good in black...fool! If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years. But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare, We're just technologically impaired. There's no phones no lights no motor cars not a single luxury Like Robinson Crusoe we're as primitive as can be. We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise We're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish Paradise There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise. We don't fight we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise. Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter, raise a barn on Monday, Soon I'll raise another. Think you're really righteous, think you're pure in heart Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art. I'm the pious guy the little Amlets wanna be like On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife. So don't be vain and don't be whiny or else my brother I might have to get medieval on your heinie We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise -
|
|||||
|
|
3:48 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
with a rabid wolverine in my underwear when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes I guessed, Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie? Is it Bob or Joe or Walter? Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve? I probably would have kept on guessing but about that time we crashed into the truck And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Jamie Farr They sucked out my internal organs and they took some Polaroids and said I was a darn good sport and as a way of saying thank you, they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go, And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yellin' Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty paper cut and, well, to make a long story short, it got infected and I died so now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates and it's obvious he doesn't like the Nehru jacket that I'm wearing He tells me that they've got a dress code Well, he lets me into heaven anyway, but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity and every day he runs by screaming Everything you know is wrong Black is white, up is down and short is long And everything you used to think was so important doesn't really matter anymore, because the simple fact remains that Everything you know is wrong Just forget the words and sing along All you need to understand is Everything you know is wrong (Everything you know is) Everything you know is wrong |
|||||
|
|
4:20 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Listen to the Muzak Hearin' people scream
Sittin' in the waiting room Readin' crappy magazines With a toothache This is it, pal Root Canal My molars are impacted I'm gettin' gum disease I'm gonna need some fillings Got twelve cavities, Can you help me Have mercy Doctor, please My teeth are a fright Got a huge overbite Numb me, drill me, Floss me, bill me You jab at my nerve endings It's driving me insane Just give me nitrous oxide Shoot me up with novocaine Help me out here 'Cause I'm in so severe Pain Please stop for a bit Now Let me rinse and spit Numb me, drill me, Floss me, bill me You validate my parking I think that I'm okay But you make one more appointment for a week from Saturday 'Cause you came upon a little problem on My x-ray Oy vey! It's getting absurd Well, I hope I'm insured, now Numb me, drill me, Floss me, bill me |
|||||
|
|
3:41 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I've got some strange disease What's that little twerp gonna say? Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today I could shine my pennies or clean my lava lamp I could spend all day in my underwear watching "Ernest Goes to Camp" I could sit and count my hair I could burp my Tupperware I'm not busy now anyway Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today I can do anything I want to I am invincible now I'm on fire, baby I'm alive, I'm alive, can you hear me, world? I'm alive! Maybe I'll spend all day staring at the sun And trying not to squint Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from My belly button lint When I'm sick of takin' abuse I just make up some lame excuse Freedom's just seven digits away Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in sick today Ain't goin' to work, no way Callin' in sick today |
|||||
|
|
4:51 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Soy un perdidor I'm a loser, baby
So why don't you kill me? Soy un perdidor I'm a loser, baby So why don't you kill me? Hey! I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too Hurt you, too I know what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know it eats you up inside I know you know, you know Here I come I come I come I come Here I come I come I come All I wanna do is have some fun I gotta feeling I'm not the only one All I wanna do is have some fun I gotta feeling I'm not the only one All I wanna do is have some fun Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard Help me--I broke apart my insides Help me--I've got no soul to sell Help me--The only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself I wanna [doink] you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna [clong] you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God Hey! Hey! Hey! You bang bang bang bang bang Blame blame blame You bang bang bang bang bang It's not my thing so let it go 'Cause the love that you gave That we made Wasn't able to make it Enough for you to be open wide No And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me You'd hold me until you died? 'Til you died Well, you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You-ou-ou-ou-ou oughta know Hey! Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage And someone will say What is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage I love all of you Hurt by the cold So hard and lonely, too When you don't know yourself I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you anything! Black Hole Sun Won't you come And wash away the rain? Black Hole Sun Won't you come, won't you come Black Hole Sun Black Hole Sun Won't you come Black Hole Sun Black Hole Sun Won't you come Black Hole Sun Black Hole Sun Do you have the time To listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one those melodramatic fools Neurotic to the bone No doubt about it Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up And am I just paranoid Or am I just stoned? Or am I just stoned? |
|||||
|
|
1:23 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Since you've been gone
Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I've got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I'm feelin' like I stuck my hand Inside a blender and turned it on You know, I've been in a buttload of pain Since you've been gone (Since you've been gone) I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped A two-ton bowling ball on my toes (Since you've been gone) It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved A red-hot cactus up my nose Since you've been gone Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day Since you've been gone It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away Ever since the day you left me I've been so miserable, my dear I feel almost as bad as I did When you were still here |
|||||
|
|
2:11 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Gump sat alone on a bench in the park
My name is Forrest, he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates He's Gump, He's Gump What's in his head? He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump Is he in-bred? Gump was a big celebrity He told JFK that he really had to pee He never feels too dumb because His mom always told him stupid is as stupid does He's Gump, He's Gump He's kinda square He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump What's with that hair? Run... run... run, run, now Forrest Run... run... run, like the wind now Run... run... run, run, now Forrest Run... stop! His buddy Bubba was a shrimp-lovin' man His friend with no legs he called Lieutenant Dan His girlfriend Jenny was kind of a slut He went to the White House, showed LBJ his butt He's Gump, He's Gump He's not too bright He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump But he's all right Is this Gump out of his head? I think so Is this Gump really brain-dead? I think so Did this Gump make lots of bread? I think so And that's all I have to say about that |
|||||
|
|
3:26 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
You tell a joke and forget the punchline
Why you always wastin' my time Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty I don't know too many females Who make a habit of biting their toenails Wo, every time you call you drive me up the wall Honey just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl I'm sure we'd be happy together If only one little thing weren't true Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you What are you, in kindergarten You're belchin' everywhere, foulin'up the air Then you use my razor to shave your back hair You don't have an ounce of class You're just one big pain in the neck How much more can I take now give me a break now You even snore when you're wide awake now You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple Well, maybe you should get a clue 'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Baby, you're so nauseatin' I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you And when you softly call my name It's like I'm listenin' to a squeaky chalk sound And when you look at me that special way It's hard for me to keep my lunch down And when you ask me what I'm thinkin honey, usually I'm thinking how I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape so I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions over and over again Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh gives me a throbbing migraine (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain (Can't stand you, I just can't stand you) You've got inhuman body odor You've got the hair of a boxing promoter Yeah, your teeth are all yellow your butt's made of Jell-O You wake up in a puddle droolin' on your pillow I hate the way you crack your knuckles I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too But mostly I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Really now, you're aggravatin' I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Not to mention irritatin' I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you Well now won't you give my best regards to Satan I yi yi yi yi I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you I'm so sick of you You make me sick |
|||||
|
|
3:54 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
My whole family
Loves Three's Company See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what to see Got my TV Guide with me MASH and All In The Family The Munsters and Mayberry R.F.D. I will always be busy Watching my TV Oprah Winfrey talks to me Every day at three Then soon it'll be Wheel and Jeopardy Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Well, I'm in such ecstasy When I'm watchin' TV I'm a boob tube devotee Think I'm losin' my sanity I'm addicted to Regis & amp Kathie Lee Forever I will always be Glued to my TV Love The Partridge Family And Dynasty And Laverne & Shirley And Hard Copy Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated Syndicated Incorporated |
|||||
|
|
3:56 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Say
do you remember that guy Larry next door Well he always was the neighborhood clown Like the time he pulled my pants off and he took those color pictures And posted copies all over town Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight till dawn What a crazy kid Larry was always foolin' around Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try Say do you remember when I lost all my hair 'Cause Lar' gave me that Nair shampoo And hey how bout the day he put Ben Gay inside my jockstrap And filled my toothpaste tube up with glue All those wedgies he gave all those shoestrings he tied All those brownies he made with the Ex-lax inside Oh Lar, I swear it was a laugh a minute with you Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try You know I couldn't help but laugh Even though he treated me like slime Remember when he cut my car in half Well, he really got me good that time! Say, do you remember when I broke in Larry's house Late at night and tied his mouth with a rag Then I dragged him by his ankles to the middle of the forest And stuffed him in a big plastic bag If the cops ever find him who knows what they'd say But I'm sure if ol' Lar were still with us today He would have to agree with me it was a pretty good gag Oh boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try Oh boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No matter how I try No matter how I try Oh, I remember Larry Oh, I remember Larry Oh, I remember Larry |
|||||
|
|
3:23 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening
And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to harrassomeone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is running Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet Listen to me Don't go makin' phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall But it's really gettin' old fast Little Melvin has a natural obsession Askin' for Prince Albert in a can He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four He won't be laughin' when they're tracin' his line One day the phone police will be there at his door Yo, hear me Don't go makin' phony calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall How long is this phase gonna last? Come on Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink. Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch. Hold on, I'll check Mike Rotch? Mike Rotch? Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? Listen to me, you little puke! One of these days I'm gonna catch you, and I'm gonna carve my name on your back with an ice pick! Ha ha ha ha ha. Don't go makin' phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to You went through the New York City phone book and prank-called 'em all Hope that you grow out of this fast Don't go makin' phony calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to |
|||||
|
|
4:02 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Bad Hair Day (1996)
Down in the workshop
all the elves were makin' toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas to all... now you're all gonna die!" The night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Well, the workshop is gone now he decided to bomb it Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger And he picked up a flamethrowe r and he barbequed Blitzen And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!" The night Santa went crazy The night Kris Kringle went nuts Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole Without steppin' in reindeer guts There's the National Guard and the FBI There's a van from the Eyewitness News And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin' And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why? My my my my my my You used to be such a jolly guy Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time In a federal prison for his infamous crime Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years But now Vixen's in therapy, and Donner's still nervous And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights They're talkin' ' bout - the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nicholas flipped Broke his back for some milk and cookies Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped Wo, the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he'd been gettin' the wrong deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain |
|||||
 |
|
4:18 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Look if you had one shot To sit on your lazy butt And watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush Would you go for it or just let it slip Yo Remote it ready eyes wide palms are sweaty There's Flinstones on the TV already Wilma n Betty No virgin to channel surfin' and I'm HD ready So flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon Cowell who folks wanna disembowel He opens his mouth always says omething foul They're dyin' wow Wannabes are crying now He votes them out time to throw in the towel Shows based on reality oh the humanity Oh Ozzy's family sho' love profanity Whoa the insanity oh dogs that crap and pee Home of depravity No they live happily yo Plus Da Ali G Show and Celebrity Mole Oh and there's Anna Nicole she's scaring me Look ma no cavities Oh it's a station break Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C SPAN TV Land and HBO The Travel Channel Discovery and Lifetime You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me cajoled me Turn off those music videos I'm gonna watch CSPAN TV Land and HBO The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime You're gonna My butt is aching as I watch NASCAR racing That show about undertaking Larry King to 24 to Law And Order The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes ancient reporters Next up on E True Hollywood Story The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey Shows for next fall they've already been namin' CSI Boise and Touched By An Uncle both sound pretty lamen n So does Everybody Tolerates Raymond And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it I'll move right on to 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenaged Daughter Then I bet I watch bachelorette Followed by Welcome Back Kotter And The Muppet Show where they go 'Mahna Mahna' You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV They told me they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C SPAN TV Land and HBO The Disney Channel and A E and Lifetime You're gonna lose your mind watcin' TV They told me cajorled me But I still love Lisa Kudrow I'm looking at C SPAN TV Land and HBO They Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime You're gonna Never missed Melrose Place or Lost In Space I've seen each Amazing Race and Without A Trace But I only watched Will And Grave one time one day Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay Oh and Fear Factor I watched maybe a half hour After that felt like I needed a long shower Network execs with naked ambitions Next week on FOX watch lions eat Christians Like to tie up those programming planners Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like Scanners Leech covered grub eatin' fools on Survivor Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr Rob 5 chneider And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver And Jay Leno has got Madonna hey there's Luke Perry on a Special all Pig Latin episode of Drew Carey Wanna turn on E T 'cause I'm a gossip freak And I gotta know who J Lo is marryin' this week A 30 second spot then we come back to Are You Hot I was planning on recording The Sopranos ooh I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I'll stare 'til my legs are numb my eyes bloodshot Because I only have got One brain to rot I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot You're gonna lose your mind watching TV They told me they'd scold me But I'd still tune in every show My cable gets C SPAN TV Land and HBO The Sci Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime You're gonna lose your mind watching TV They told me cajoled me Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show no I got it on C SPAN TV Land and HBO The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime You're gonna You can watch anything you want to man |
|||||
|
|
3:44 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of my mind Until a friend told me the news He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it And on that spot they're gonna build a shop Where we can go buy bolts and screws" Since then I've been walking on air (air) I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care I've been waiting since last June For this day to finally arrive I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside Well, I hope they open soon I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open the door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass You know, I had to be first in line Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house See those hacksaws? Very, very soon One of them will be all mine Guys with nametags walking down the aisles Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles All arranged alphabetically And they're doing a promotional stunt There's a great big purple sign out front That says every 27th customer Will get a ball peen hammer free I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open the door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store Would you look at all that stuff ... They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tacks, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open the door? I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the Hardware store |
|||||
|
|
3:11 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Rotten So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay Even though the garbage I knew would reek (You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week Then, um, I'm takin' Birthday cake 'n' (Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin' Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin' Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin' She's naggin' "I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor" "Is that too much to ask you for?" But I see no reason why Can't let a few more weeks go by And now garbage is piled up high And buddy, you should see the flies I said... There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Boy there's a lot in here (a lot) And every day it grows (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up Look at all this garbage that I keep generatin' (Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin' Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin' Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin' You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma Sure to put you in a coma It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers It's so bad, the roaches wearin' slippers Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint Stand up by themselves at this point It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie I wipe my feet before I go outside I wonder what crawled in here and died (You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends Like "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!" Oh There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Look what we got in here (now what?) Let's watch it decompose (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up With a little bit of a... and a little bit of a... Make me wanna throw up It makes ya wanna... just makes ya wanna... Oh Some Lysol, some Comet I got a mop and it's got your name on it (What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it (Oh) Unless you gonna do it Careful not to breathe the fumes Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom Oh There's somethin' rotten here (say what?) You better hold your nose (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) It's gone to pot in here (to pot) Bring out the firehose (Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out) Make ya wanna throw up With a little bit a... and a little bit a... Make me wanna throw up Give a little bit a... and a tiny bit a... Make ya wanna throw up Mix a little bit a... with a molecule a... Make me wanna throw up It makes me wanna... just makes me wanna... Oh |
|||||
|
|
3:39 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night, it's the place to be Everybody cut footloose with me At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Hey Met a little lady so pretty and young She was quite a little talker 'till the cat got her tongue She oozed up beside me, I turned on my charm Well, pretty soon she was completely disarmed I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me" But she cried her eyes out - literally At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Hey, hey Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip Sorry I was using your head for dip There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who Wait a minute, it looks like Stu Well, hold the phone now, what do I see? Another pretty mama got her eye on me At the party at the leper colony Oh, there's a party at the leper colony There's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) There's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) Oh, there's a party at the leper colony Yeah, party at the leper colony Well, there's a party at the leper colony (Party at the leper colony) Hey |
|||||
|
|
5:04 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort Suffocation, no breathing Don't give a if I cut my arm bleeding This is my last resort 'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Losing my sight, losing my mind Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine Nothing's all right, nothing is fine I'm running and a-crying Wake up (Wake up) Grab a brush and put a little make-up Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup (Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup) Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable You wanted to Grab a brush and put a little makeup You wanted to Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup You wanted to Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? You wanted to I don't think you trust In my self-righteous suicide I cry when angels deserve to die, die, die D-d-die die die die die Hey I'm gonna get free I'm gonna get free I'm gonna get free Ride into the sun She never loved me She never loved me She never loved me Why should anyone? (Come here, come here, come here) I'll take your photo for ya (Come here, come here, come here) Drive you around the corner (Come here, come here, come here) You know you really oughta (Come here, come here, come here) Move out to California Do what I want 'cause I can If I don't because I wanna Be ignored by the stiff and the bored Because I'm gonna Hate to say I told you so, all right Do believe I told you so Now it's all out and you knew 'Cause I wanted to Fell in love with a girl I fell in love at once and almost completely She's in love with the world But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading Can't think of anything to do Yeah, my left brain knows that all love is fleeting She's just looking for something new Yeah, I said it once before but it bears repeating, now Last night, she said "Oh baby, don't you feel so down When you turn me off When I feel left out" So I (what'd you do?) Well, I turned around (right around) "Oh, baby, gonna be alright" It was a great big lie (big old lie) 'Cause I left that night Yeah Ooh ah ah ah ah Ooh ah ah ah ah Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Open up your hate and let it flow into me Get up Come on get down with the sickness You mother get up Come on get down with the sickness Get up Come on get down with the sickness Madness is the gift that has been given to me We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk We're the renegades of funk This time I'm 'a let it all come out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout I'm a do things my way It's my way My way or the highway This time I'm a let it all come out This time I'm a stand up and shout I'm a do things my way It's my way [honk] [honk] Or the highway But I'm on the outside I'm looking in I can see through you See your true colors 'Cause inside you're ugly Ugly like me I can see through you See to the real you Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie Bawitdaba da bang da dang diggy diggy Diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie We are, we are The youth of the nation We are, we are The youth of the nation We are, we are The youth of the nation We are the youth of the nation Hey I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up Please stand up I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please Please, please stand up Slim Shady won't you please stand up? (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) (Stand up Shady)(Stand up) (Stand up Shady) Shady, won't you please stand up? Hey |
|||||
|
|
6:15 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical And your nostils are so nice I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl So I could see you twice Girl, you smell like Fritos That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare You're so hot, you're gonna melt The elastic in my underwear I'll bet you're magically delicious Like a bowl of Lucky Charms You'd look like Venus de Milo If I just cut off your arms What I'm tryin' to say is ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Do you believe in love at first sight Or should I walk by again? My love for you'd like diarrhea I just can't hold it in Stop, drop and roll now 'Cause baby, you're on fire I'll bet your outfit Makes a lot of noise in the drier You're absolutely perfect Don't speak now, you might spoil it Your eyes are even bluer Than the water in my toilet Say, has anyone ever told you You've got Yugoslavian hands? No, of course not, that would be stupid Just forget I ever brought it up The point I'm trying to make is ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo I wanna be your Krakatoa Let my lava flow all over you I wanna be your anaconda And your heat-seeking missile too I wanna be your beef burrito Am I making this perfectly clear? I wanna be your love torpedo Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here? Uh huh I hope I'm not being forward But do you mind if I chew on your butt? You can tell me truthfully Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what? There just aren't enough o's in "smooth" To desribe how smooth I am Maybe you've seen my picture It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!" My lips are registered weapons Can I invade your personal space? You must have fallen from heaven That would explain how you messed up your face Well, how'd you get through security? 'Cause, baby, you're the bomb I'd like to take you home right now So you can meet my mom Because I ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Girl, you must be Jamaican Because Jamaican me crazy Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) |
|||||
|
|
3:39 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check it out 19 extra larges - what a shame No one came Just us, eatin' all alone You said, "Take the pizza home" "No sense lettin' all this go to waste" So then I faced Pizza all day And every day This cheese 'round the clock Is gettin' me blocked And I sure don't care For irregularity Tell me Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated? 'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated In the bathroom... I sit and I wait and I strain And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain Oh, should I take the laxatives or have my colon irrigated? No no no I was feelin' pretty down Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her so tenderly But woe is me Who would have guessed Her family crest I'd suddenly spy Tattooed on her thigh And son-of-a-gun It's just like the one on me Tell me How was I supposed to know we were both related? Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated? No no no I had so much on my mind I thought maybe I'd unwind Try out that new roller coaster ride And the guide Said not to stand But that's a demand That I couldn't meet I got on my feet And stood up instead And knocked off my head, you see Tell me Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated? This really is a major inconvenience , oh man, I really hate it Such a drag now... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore I can't belch or yodel anymore Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated Oh no Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (Yeah yeah) I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated What a bummer Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated No no no |
|||||
|
|
4:52 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said, "God, please answer me one question?" "Why'd they have to interrupt 'The Simpsons' just for this?" What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun to see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba I was driving down the highway when all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a twelve-car pile-up, everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head And I thought - Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money - what a jerk Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again Plus now, on top of everything else, it looks like I'm gonna be late to work Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) Why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba Oh, the other day, my boss said we were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well, I told him I was busy, but he still just kept on asking So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face) Oh, and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again (quite as sharp again) Oh, tell me Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba |
|||||
|
|
4:53 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if his hair was on fire But then one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he's swingin' all over town La li la, li de da La la, li le la da dum Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man Sling us a web tonight 'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now And there's evil doers to fight Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his Who horns in on Mary Jane But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys Who can kiss upside down in the rain |
|||||
|
|
2:29 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot or to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw was raw Was it a car or a cat I saw? Rise to vote, sir Do geese see god? "Do nine men interprite?" "Nine men," I nod Rats live on no evil star Won't lovers revolt now? Race fast, safe car Pa's a sap Ma is as selfish as I am May a moody baby doom a yam? Ah, Satan sees Natasha No evil lived on Lonely Tylenol Not a banana baton No "x" in "Nixon" O, stone, be not so O Geronimo, no minor ego "Naomi," I moan "A Toyota's a Toyota" A dog, a panic in a pagoda Oh no! Don Ho! Nurse, I spy gypsies - run! Senile felines Now I see bees I won UFO tofu We panic in a pew Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog! Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog |
|||||
|
|
3:36 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
Yeah A used ... pink bathrobe A rare ... mint snowglobe A Smurf ... TV tray I bought on eBay My house ... is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why (I need another pet rock) Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock) Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee) They had it on eBay I'll buy ... your knick-knack Just check ... my feedback "A++!" they all say They love me on eBay Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag) Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag) (From some guy) I've never met in Norway Found him on eBay I am the type who is liable to snipe you With two seconds left to go, whoa Got Paypal or Visa, what erev'll please As long as I've got the dough I'll buy ... your tchotchkes Sell me ... your watch, please I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...) I'm highest bidder now (Junk keeps arriving in the mail) (From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) (Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray) Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay) Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox) Wanna buy (a case on vintage tube socks) Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre) (Found it on eBay) Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster) (Pez dispensers and a toaster) (Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away) (I'll buy on eBay) What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y |
|||||
|
|
8:56 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Poodle Hat (2003)
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know how to put on my own pants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese I got a negative number on my SATs I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek They dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic They love my body odor and my bad toupee They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret And when I'm sipping on a Perrier In some cafe town in St. Tropez It's hard to keep the fans at bay They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait" "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait" Hemenene humenene himenene homenene Poodle... poodle... Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool Got too much chlorine in my gene pool A few peas short of a casserole A few buttons missing on my remote control A few fries short of a happy meal I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel Instructions on the heel But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response (He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) That's right (He's a genius in France, genius in France) You know it (He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France) I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?" I say, "Oui, oui" That's right, I say, "Oui, oui" "Oui, oui" He says, "Oui, oui" I'm dumber than a box of hair But those Frenchies don't seem to care Don't know why, mon frere But they love me there I'm a genius in France Yeah, I'm a genius in France Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes Gonna make those Frenchies scream "You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!" Like a fine Renoir (waa), I've got that je me c'est quoi (quoi!) Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I've got that je me c'est ... Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy Bow [snort] I'm a taco short of a combo plate But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great Oh, the men all faint and the women scream They like me more than heavy cream When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie) They think I'm awful witty, a riot and a half When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh(haw haw haw haw haw) And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw) People in France have lots of attitude They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food But when they see me, they just come unglued They think that I am one happening dude Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle Entre nous, it's very true The room temperature's higher than my IQ But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu How did this happen; I don't have a clue Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm I don't have any skills or grace or charm And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back I'm never never never never goin' back home again I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket Gonna tell the folks back here where they can stick it 'Cause I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back I'm never goin' back The girls back home never gave me a chance But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance But "Great Googily Moogily", I'm a genius in France Every Frenchie that I meet Just can't wait to kiss my feet Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite! Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left I'm the biggest dork there is alive My mom picked out my clothes for me 'till I was 35 And I forgot to mention I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention But the Frenchies think That my poop don't stink I'm a genius in France Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon? Merci beaucoup |
|||||
 |
|
- | 
|
||
| from The Flintstones (고인돌 가족) by David Newman [ost] (1994) | |||||
 |
|
2:50 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! I wanna roll with- The gangsters But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Really really white n' nerdy First in my class here at M.I.T. Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D MC Escher that's my favorite MC Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea My rims never spin to the contrary You'll find they're quite stationary All of my action figures are cherry Stephen Hawking's in my library My MySpace page is all totally pimped out I got people begging for my top 8 spaces Yo I know Pi a thousand places Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze There's no killer app I haven't run At Pascal, well, I'm number one I do vector calculus just for fun I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun Happy Days is my favorite theme song I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon They see me roll on, my Segway! I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy! Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy I'd like to roll with- The gangsters Although it's apparent I'm too White n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy How'd I get so white n' nerdy? I've been browsing, inspectin' X-men comics you know I collect 'em The pens in my pocket I must protect 'em My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored Shopping online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia I memorized the Holy Grail Really well I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL I got a business doing websites When my friends need some code who do they call? I do HTML do for them all Even make a homepage for my dog! Yo I got myself a fanny pack they were having a sale at the GAP Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap POP POP! Hope no one sees me get freaky! I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team! Only question I ever thought was hard Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire Got my name on my underwear! They see me strollin' They laughin' And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy Just because I'm white n' nerdy All because I'm white n' nerdy Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy I wanna bowl with- the gangsters but oh well it's obvious I'm white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Look at me I'm white n' nerdy! |
|||||
|
|
3:51 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
I sued Taco Bell cuz I ate half a million chaloopas and I got fat I sued Panasonic. They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat I sued Earthlink cuz I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks cuz I spilled a Frappaccino in my lap and brrr it was cold! I sued Toys "R" Us cuz I swallowed a Nerf Ball and nearly choked to death! Uh! I sued Petco cuz I ate a bag of kitty litter and now I got bad breath! I sued Coca Cola yo cuz I put my finger down in a bottle and it got stuck! I sued Delta Airlines cuz they sold me a ticket to New Jersey, I went there, and it sucked! Yeeeeeaaaaaaah! If ya stare me up on a date If you deliver my pizza 30 seconds late! I'm gonna sue sue yes I'm gonna sue. Sue sue yeah that's what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna sue sue yes I'm gonna sue. Sue sue yeah I might even sue you! Uh! I sued Duracell they never told me not to shove that AA right up my nose! I sued Home Depot because they sold me a hammer which they knew I might drop on my toes! I sued Dell Computers cuz I took a bath with my laptop now it doesn't work! I sued Fruit of the Loom cuz when I wear those tightie-whities on my head I look like a jerk! I sued Verizon cuz I get all depresed any time my cell phone is rolling! I sued Colorado cuz ya know I think it looks a bit too much like Wyoming! I sued Neman Markus cuz they put up their christmas decorations way outta season! I sued Ben Affleck.. aww do I even need a reason? Uh! If I sprain my ankle when I'm robbin' your place! If I hurt my knuckes when I punch you in the face! I'm gonna sue sue yes i'm gonna sue sue sue yeah that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna sue sue yes i'm gonna sue sue sue that's right i'm gonna sue you! Uh! Uh! Uh! I'll sue ya I'll take all your money. I'll sue ya even look at me funny. I'll sue ya I'll take all your money I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya! I'll take all your money! I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya I'll take all your money! I'll sue ya even if ya look at me funny! I'll sue ya! ha ha ha ha ha! I'll sue ya! whatcha think of that?! I'll sue ya! ha ha ha ha ha! Booyah! I'll sue ya! Uh! |
|||||
|
|
3:55 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
once in a while maybe you will feel the urge to break... international copyright laws by downloading MP3's from file sharing sites like morpheus or crocster or limewire or kazaa cuz deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad and the shame would leave a permanent scar cuz you start out stealing songs then you're robbing liquor stores and selling crack and running over school kids with your car [chorus] so don't download this song the record store's where you belong go and buy the CD like you know that you should oh, don't download this song oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I double A they'll sue you if you burn that CD-R it doesn't matter if you're a grandma or a seven year old girl they'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are [chorus] so don't download this song don't go pirating music all day long go and buy the CD like you know that you should oh, don't download this song don't take away money from artists just like me how else can i afford another solid-gold humvee? and diamond-studded swimming pools these things don't grow on trees so all i ask is "everybody--please!!" [chorus] don't download this song (dont do it, no no) even lars ulrich knows its wrong (you can just ask him) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (you really should) oh, dont download this song dont download this song (oh please dont you do it) or you might wind up in jail like Tommy Chong (yeah how bout Tommy?) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (go on buy it) oh dont download this song dont download this song (no no no no no no) or you'll burn in hell before too long (and you'll deserve it) go and buy the CD like you know that you should (go on buy it) *fades out* |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Ricky"
Hey Lucy, I'm home! Oh, Ricky, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky! Oh, Lucy, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Lucy! Hey, Lucy! Oh, Ricky, you're so fine You play your bongos all the time Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky! Oh, Lucy, you're so fine How I love to hear you whine Hey, Lucy! Hey, Ricky! You always play your conga drums You think you got the right You wake up little Ricky In the middle of the night Stop shakin' your maracas now And just turn out the light Ricky! I'm sick of Fred and Ethel Always comin' over here 'Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks And then he spills his beer Why don't you serve your casserole And make them disappear Lucy? Oh, Ricky, What's a girl like me supposed to do? You really drive me wild When you sing your Babalu Oh, Lucy You're so dizzy Don't you have a clue? Well, here's to you Lucy! I love you too, Lucy, too, Lucy Let's Babalu, Lucy Hey, Ricky! You're always playin' at the club You never let me go I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin' But you always tell me no Oh please, honey, please Let me be in your show Ricky! Waaa... You always burn the roast And you drop the dishes too You iron my new shirt And you burn a hole right through You're such a crazy redhead I just don't know what to do Lucy! Oh, Ricky, What a pity, don't you understand That every day's a rerun And the laughter's always canned Oh, Lucy I'm the Laughin' leader of the band So here's to you, Lucy Let's Babalu, Lucy, do, Lucy...everybody rumba! |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Gotta Boogie"
Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger And I can't shake it off! Well, I went out to a party Just the other night I was jammin' to the music I was feelin' all right I was burnin' up the floor Like a disco maniac When my woman said "Baby, why's your hand behind your back?" Gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) I said boogie! (Gotta boogie) I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger, And I can't shake it off! I can't pick it off! (Oh no) I can't flick it off! (Oh no) I sure ain't gonna lick it off! (Oh no) So I guess I'm gonna have to learn to live with it I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie, uh huh, he gotta boogie) Gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie, uh huh, he gotta boogie) Gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie, uh huh, he gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on my finger And I can't shake it off! (Boogie!) Gotta boogie (Boogie!) Hey, you wanna boogie? No, man, I don't want a boogie! Wanna boogie? Get that boogie outta my face! Do any of you wanna boogie? No!!! Gotta boogie on my finger Gotta boogie on my finger Gotta boogie on my finger And I can't shake it off! |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"I Love Rocky Road"
I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old And vanilla just leaves me cold There's just one flavor good enough for me Yeah me Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon, I know what I need Baby, I love rocky road So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby I love rocky road So have another triple scoop with me They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same All the soda jerkers know my name When their supply is gone Then I'll be movin' on But I'll be back on Monday afternoon You'll see Another truckload's comin' in for me All for me I'm singin', I love rocky road So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby I love rocky road So have another triple scoop with me When I'm all alone I just grab my self a cone And if I get fat and lose my teeth that's fine with me Just lock me in the freezer, throw away the key Singin', I love rocky road So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby I love rocky road So have another triple scoop with me! |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Buckingham Blues"
Gonna tell you a story about Chuck and Diane Couple British kids from the palace at Buckingham Chuckie wants to grow up and be a polo star And ride his little horsies all around the backyard You know they really paid their dues I said hey, lady mama, they got them Buckingham blues Now Chuckie goes hunting, and leaves Diane alone So she fixes her hair, and she talks on the Princess Phone Chuckie's still tryin' to figure out what his job's supposed to be And Diane's the fashion leader of the aristocracy I said hey, Lady Di, tell me where'd you get them shoes? Ah, well hey nonny nonny, looks like you got them Buckingham blues Aw, bein' heir to the throne, well it must be awful hard Gotta pose for pictures out on the front yard And Lady Di, well, she must have it pretty rough Gotta hang around the house all day, makin' babies and stuff Another game of croquet, then they're off on a Caribbean cruise Well hey bop-a-re-bop, they really got them Buckingham blues They don't serve no Twinkies with their afternoon tea Never had a dinner made by Chef Boy-ar-Dee Bein' in the spotlight is a hard life to choose Diane drops half a pound, it's on the six o'clock news Ah yeah, those kids have really paid their dues Aw, what a royal pain it is, when you got them Buckingham blues |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Stop Draggin' My Car Around"
Had to park my car for just five minutes I had to go inside to use the phone When I came back again, my car was gone Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone What a bummer, I as so brought down I had to chase that tow truck a over town, yellin' Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my car around Took my baby to the local disco I was jumpin' like a maniac But the owner came and pulled me off the floor Then he took me to his little office in the back He said, "I really like your snaggletooth necklace Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay But, man, that car of yours is so uncool Like wow, I'm sorry, but we towed it away! Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my car around! Now I'm at home I'm watchin' "Gilligan's Island" Guess it's time to trade my old car in For twenty dollars and my '64 Plymouth, Maybe I could get a second-hand Schwinn Look out the window There's a tow truck in the driveway I grabbed the driver and I asked him why He said, "I'm sorry, kid, you're late with the payments It's time to kiss your little car goodbye" Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my... Stop draggin' my car around! Stop draggin' my car around! Listen, the check's in the mail. No, really! Stop draggin' my car around! Oh man, I just had the hub caps painted! Stop draggin' my car around! Hey! Hey, I left a sandwich in the back seat! |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"My Bologna"
Oooh, my little hungry one Hungry one Open up a package of My bologna Oooh, I think the toast is done Toast is done Top it with a little of my bologna Never gonna stop Eat it up Such a tasty snack I always eat too much And throw up But I'll soon be back For my my my yi yi wooo! M-M-M-My bologna Spreadin' on the mustard now Show me how Spread it on a little of This bologna Hopin' that we don't run out Don't run out If we do, I'm sure that I'll Miss bologna Never gonna stop Eat it up Such a tasty snack I always eat too much And throw up But I'll soon be back For my my my yi yi wooo! M-M-M-My bologna. Goin' to the market now Market now I'm the city's biggest Bologna buyer Walkin' down the shopping aisles Shopping aisles Fillin' up my basket with Oscar Mayer Never gonna stop Eat it up Such a tasty snack I always eat too much And throw up But I'll soon be back For my my my yi yi wooo! M-M-M-My bologna |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Another One Rides The Bus"
Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard And the place was pretty packed Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand With the perverts in the back It was smellin' like a locker room There was junk all over the floor We're already packed in like sardines But we're stoppin' to pick up more Look out! Another one rides the bus Another one rides the bus And another comes on And another comes on Another one rides the bus Hey! He's gonna sit by you Another one rides the bus There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs There's an elbow in my ear There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me Hasn't showered in a year Well, I think I'm missin' a contact lens I think my wallet's gone And I think this bus is stoppin' again To let a couple more freaks get on Look out! Another one rides the bus Another one rides the bus And another comes on And another comes on Another one rides the bus Hey! He's gonna sit by you Another one rides the bus Another one rides the bus Another one rides the bus (ow) Another one rides the bus (hey, hey!) Another one rides the bus (hey-y-y-y!) The window doesn't open, and the fan is broke And my face is turnin' blue I haven't been in a crowd like this Since I went to see The Who Well, I should'a got off a couple miles ago But I couldn't get to the door There isn't any room for me to breathe Now we're gonna pick up more, yeah Another one rides the bus Another one rides the bus And another comes on And another comes on Another one rides the bus Hey! He's gonna sit by you Another one rides the bus |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003)
"Such A Groovy Guy"
I got my alligator boots I wear my pants skin tight I wear my dark sunglasses In the middle of the night And when I look in the mirror Oh, it's such an awesome sight It makes me want to kneel down and pray I'm so adorable and charming I'm sure that you can see And everybody's always tryin' to hang around with me They tell me I'm the greatest, and it's hard to disagree 'Cause I'm so perfect in every way And I'm so cute I can hardly stand it And I'm so handsome, honey, I could just die I know you'll never be as wonderful as me But at least you can try 'Cause I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy Baby, are you in the mood for a little romance? Well, for starters, I could pour some chocolate pudding down your pants And then attach electrodes to your brain, and watch you dance Well, golly, wouldn't that be fun? Oh, and then I might decide to tie you up with dental floss I'll make you wear a harness, and I'll show ya who's the boss Of course, if you refuse, well honey, it's your loss I mean, I don't do this with just anyone So baby, how can you say its all over? So how can ya tell me goodbye? So now you tell me that you're leavin' me for good And all I wanna know is why? I mean, after all, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy I mean you could do worse I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) I'm such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy) Yeah, I'm such a groovy guy |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Weird Al Yankovic (2003) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - In 3-D (2001) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003)
(Trigger happy! Trigger happy!)
Got an AK-47, well, you know it makes me feel alright. Got an UZI by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night. There's no feeling any greater, than to Shoot first and ask questions later. Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Trigger happy every day) Well, you can't take my guns away - I got a Constitutional right. (Ooh-we-ooh) Yea, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight. (Bam bam bam) I'll blow their minds out with my Smith & Wesson. That oughta teach 'em all a darn good lesson. Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Trigger happy every day) (Oh, yea I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Trigger happy) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. Oh, I accidentally shot Daddy last night in the den. (Shot daddy in the den) I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again. (Drug-crazed Nazi again) Now, why'd you have to get so mad? It was just a lousy flesh-wound, Dad. You know I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Trigger happy every day) Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet. (Bop doo wa, sh'wop wop doo wa) Little Fluffy took a round - better take him to the Vet. (Bop doo wa, sh'wop wop doo wa) I filled that Kitty-Cat so full of lead. (Ooh-ooh-ooh) We'll have to use him for a pencil instead. Well, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Trigger happy every day) (Oh, yea I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Trigger happy) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. Come on and grab your ammo. (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh) What have you got to lose? We'll get all liquered up and shoot at anything that moves. Got a brand-new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. (Shoot to kill, now, shoot to kill) Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight. (Shoot to kill, now, shoot to kill) I always keep a magnum in my trunk. You better ask yourself, "Do you feel lucky, punk?" Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Trigger happy every day) (Oh, yea I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Trigger happy) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. (Watch out or he'll blow you away) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. (Watch out or he'll blow you away) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. (Watch out or he'll blow you away) Better watch out punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. |
|||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Off The Deep End (2003) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
|
|
- |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Running With Scissors (2000) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from The Simpsons: Testify [ost] (2007) | |||||
 |
|
3:44 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Whatever You Like [single] (2009)
Hey girl,
You know our economy's in the toilet But I'm still going to treat you right I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice And we can clip coupons all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please Like Burger King or Mickey Ds And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can even have the large fry (large fry) yeah, yeah Baby, you should know I am really quite a sweet guy When I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply Want it, you can get it, my dear I got my Costco membership card right here, yeah You like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen Got a cupboard full of 'em, I'll keep 'em coming You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it Pork and beans and Minute Rice And we can play Cribbage all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah I can take you to the laundromat downtown And watch all the clothes go round and round And baby we can go wherever you like (if you like) I said we can go wherever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo You could be second-runner-up Miss Ohio Seven dollar bills rolled Up inside my plastic billfold Buy you a bagel even if it isn't day old And you never ever gotta wear your sister's old clothes As long as I'm still assistant manager at Kinko's Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl You ain't got to pay me, that's the way that I roll My chick can have want she want At Wal-mart she can pick out anything she want I know girl you ain't never had a man like that Who doesn't make you buy generic brand like that, Yeah You like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday But that's kind of far and I'm not made of cash Do you think you could chip in for gas? Mac and Cheese would be all right But let's send out for pizza tonight And you can order any toppings you like (if you like) I said you can even have the last slice (the last slice) yeah, yeah Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do' Now I can get free HBO And baby you can watch whatever you like (if you like) I said you can watch whatever you like (if you like) yeah And you can always ride the city bus Got a stack of tokens just for us Yo, my wallet's fat and full of ones It's all about the Washingtons, that's right You want White Castle, need White Castle Long as you got me it won't be no hassle You want it, we'll get it, just don't be a hater If I grab a bunch of napkins for later Thrift store jeans on sale half-price The underwear at Goodwill is nice And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Baby, I can give you anything you please Even share my government cheese And baby you can have as much as you like (if you like) I said you can have as much as you like (if you like) yeah, yeah |
|||||
|
|
3:48 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't matter Don't really care about my bladder But I don't leave home without My pancreas My pancreas is always There for me Ahh-oooh Secreting those enzymes (bap bap bap) Secreting those hormones too Metabolizing carbohydrates Just for me Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba My pancreas Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba My pancreas Ooooooh My pancreas attracts every other Pancreas in the universe With a force proportional To the product of their masses And inversely proportional To the distance between them Woo woo woo woo Don'tcha you know you gotta Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Won'tcha Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice Flow, flow, into the deuodenum Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans... (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Insulin, glucagon (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Comin' from the islets of Langerhans... (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow, flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenium) Lipase, amylase, and tripsin (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) They gonna help with our digestion (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas {Lipase, amylase, and tripsin} (Insulin, glucagon) (Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice) Golly-gee I love my pancreas {They gonna help with our digestion} (Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...) (Flow flow, into the deuodenum) Can't you see I love my pancreas... |
|||||
|
|
2:23 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Weird Al Yankovic-Canadian Idiot Don't want to be a Canadian idiot 캐나다 바보가 되고 싶지 않아 Don't want to be some beer-swillin' hockey nut 맥주만 줄창 쳐마시는 하키 또라이가 되고 싶지 않아 and do I look like some frost bitten hosehead 난 동살걸린 호스 꼭지처럼 보일거야 I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed 난 절대 알파벳 A부터 Z까지 안 배웠어 They all live on donuts and moose meat 그들 모두 다 도너츠하고 무스고기만 먹고 살지 and they leave the house without packin' heat 보온 용품 없이 집을 나서지 never even bring their guns to the mall 쇼핑 몰에 총을 절대로 가져 가지 않지 and you know what else is too funny 그 밖에 웃긴게 너무 많은데 그 중에도 their stupid monopoly money can't take 'em seriously at all 어리버리 전매품인 돈은 그들을 진지하게 받아들이지 못하게 하지 Well maple syrup and snow's what they export 메이플 시럽과 눈은 주요 수출품이지 they treat curling just like it's a real sport 컬링을 진짜 스포츠로 생각하지 they think their silly accent is so cute 어리버리 사투리가 귀엽게 들린다고 생각하지 can't understand a thing they're talking aboot 야그하는 걸 전혀 알아 들을 수 없는데도 말이지.. sure they got their national health care 국립 건강 보험이 있긴 하지만 cheaper meds low crime rates and clean air 낮은 범죄율과 청정 대기 때문에 의료비가 엄청 싸지 then again well they got celine dion 하지만 그들한테는 셀린 디옹이 있지 eat their weight in kraft macaroni 그들 몸무게 유지용으로 마카로니를 먹지 and dream of driving a zamboni 잼보니를 모는게 꿈이지 all over saskatchewan 서스캐처원에서는 Don't want to be a Canadian idiot 캐나다 바보가 되고 싶진 않아 We'll figure out the temperature in Celcius 우리는 섭씨 온도를 알아낼거야 see the map they're hovering right over us 그들이 우리 바로 위에서 맴도는 낯짝을 봤지 tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous 솔직히 말하면 그게 날 약간 초초하게 만들어 always hear the same kind of story 항상 같은 이야기만 듣지 break your nose and they'll just say sorry 코를 부러뜨리고 걍 미안하다고만 말할걸 tell me what kind of freaks are that polite 어떤 똘추 짓이 거기선 예의인지 말좀 해줘 It's gotta mean they're all up to something 그건 그들 모두가 뭔가 꾸미려는 걸 말하지 so quick before you see it coming 그러면 그들이 올거 같으면 재빨리 time for a pre-emptive strike 선제 공격을 가할 시간이야 |
|||||
|
|
4:17 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
[Chicken Dance] ["Let's Get it Started" by Black Eyed Peas] Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here And the base keeps runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' And runnin' runnin' ["Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand] I say don't you know You say you don't know I say... take me out! I say you don't show Don't move, time is slow I say (gunshot) take me out! ["Beverly Hills" by Weezer] Beverly Hills - That's where I want to be! (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills Beverly Hills - Rolling like a celebrity! (gimme, gimme) Living in Beverly Hills ["Speed Of Sound" by Coldplay] And birds go flying at the speed of sound To show you how it all began Birds came flying from the underground If you could see it then you'd understand (Accordion Solo) ["Float On" by Modest Mouse] And we'll all float on ok And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Now don't you worry we'll all float on Alright... ["Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz] Feel good Feel good Feel good ["Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls] Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha? Don't cha? ["Somebody told me" by The Killers] Somebody told me You had a boyfriend Who looked like a girlfriend That I had in February of last year It's not confidential Well, I've got potential A rushin' a rushin' around Hey! Hey! Hey! ["Candy Shop" by 50 featuring Olivia] I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollypop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) We'll take you to the candy shop (yeah) Boy one taste of what we got (un'huh) We'll have you spending all you got (come on) Keep going 'til you hit the spot (whoa) ["Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg] When the pimp's in the crib ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot When the pigs try to get at you Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot ["Pon De Replay" by Rihanna] Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more what Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up? Hey Mr. Please Mr. DJ Tell me if you hear me Turn the music up! ["Gold Digger" by Kanye West] She take my money (she take my money) When I'm in need (when I'm in need) Yea she's a trifflin' friend indeed (friend indeed) Oh she's a gold digga way over town (way over town) That digs on me Hey! Hey! Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke Now I ain't sayin she's a gold digger But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave) Get down girl, go head But I ain't sayin' she's a Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Gold gold digger (gold gold) Hey! |
|||||
|
|
3:46 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
Really want to give you a warning 'Cause I found out this morning 'Bout a dangerous, insidious computer virus If you should get any mail with the subject: ""Stinky Cheese"" Better not go taking your chances Under no circumstances Should you open it or else it will Translate your documents into Swahili Make your TV record ""Gigli"" Neuter your pets and give your laundry static cling (Look out!) It's gonna make your computer screen freeze (Look out!) Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs (Look out!) Erase your hard drive and your back-ups too And the hard drive of anyone related to you Virus alert! Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls It'll make your keyboard all sticky Give your poodle a hickey And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney Then it will tie up your phone making crank long distance calls It'll set your clocks back an hour And start hogging the shower So just trash it now, or else it will Decide to give you a permanent wedgie Legally change your name to Reggie Even mess up the pH balance in your pool (Look out!) It's gonna melt your face right off your skull (Look out!) And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull (Look out!) And tell you knock-knock jokes while your tryin' to sleep (Look out!) And make you physically attracted to sheep (Look out!) Steal you identity your credit cards (Look out!) Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards (Look out!) Then cause a major rift in time and space And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place That's right, it's a… Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born So before it e-mails your grandmother all of your porn… Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down Drop it in a 43-foot hole in the ground Bury it completely, rocks and boulders should be fine Then burn any clothes you may have worn at any time you were online Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Virus alert Delete immediately before someone gets hurt Forward this message on to everybody Warn all your friends, send this to everybody Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now What are you waiting for? Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know Hit… send… right…now |
|||||
|
|
3:52 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Watch this
These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you) Without asking I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium, I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick) My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget! These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Oops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry. These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions |
|||||
|
|
1:34 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Faces filled with joy and cheer What a magical time of year Howdy-ho it's Weasel Stomping Day Put your viking helmet on Spread that mayonaise on the lawn Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day All the little girls and boys Love that wonderful crunching noise You'll know what this day's about When you stomp a weasel's guts right out So come along and have a laugh Snap that weasely spine in half Grab your boots and stomp your cares away Hip-hip-hooray it's Weasel Stomping Day People up and down the street Crushing weasels beneath their feet Why we do it, who can say But it's such a festive holiday So let the stomping fun begin Bash their weasely skulls right in It's tradition, that makes it ok Hey everyone it's Weasel Stomping We'll have some fun on Weasel stomping Put down your guns it's weasel stomping Daaaaayyyy Hip-hip-hooray it's Weasel Stomping Daaaaayyyyy Weasel Stomping Day, Hey! |
|||||
|
|
3:55 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Jillian was her name, she was sweeter than aspartame. Her kisses reconfigured my DNA and after that, I never was the same. And I loved her more than Marlon Brando loved souffle. She was gorgeous, she was charming, yeah she was perfect in every way. Except she was always using the word infer, when she obviously meant imply. And I know some guys would put up with that kinda thing, but frankly, I can't imagine why, and I told her I said Hey! Are we playin' horseshoes honey, no I don't think we are. You're close, but no cigar. Then I met sweet young Janet, prettiest thing on the planet. Had a body hotter than a habanjero, she had lips like a ripe pomergranite. And I was crazy like Manson about her, she got me all choked up like Momma Cass. She had a smile so incredibly radiant, you had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass. I thought after all these years of searchin' around, I found my soul mate finally. But one day I found out she actually owned a copy, of Joe Dirt on DVD, oh no! I said Hey! Are we lovin' hand grenades kiddo, no I don't think we are. You're close! Oh so very close. Yeah, baby you're close, so close, but no cigar! Julie played water polo. She wore a ribbon on her left manolo. She had me sweatin' like Nixon every time she was there, my heart was beatin' like a Buddy Rif solo. And she was every thing I've dreamed of, she moved right up to number 1 on my list. And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire bikini, super model astrophysicist. Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron, look like a big fat slobbering pig! The only caveat is one of her earlobes was just a little tiny bit too big, oh no, I said Hey! Are we doin' government work here, no I don't think we are. You're close! So very very close! Aw, baby you're close, so close, but no cigar. |
|||||
|
|
2:47 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
I know that you don't know me very well
We've barely met, but I can surely tell No one will ever love you like I do I like to feel the warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool and usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum that you threw in the garbage You're the one I dream about But the only question with me now is Do I creep you out? Everytime I shake your hand now Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth Do I creep you out? Call you every night and hang up, whoa, up Gonna carve your name in my leg In my leg Something I should ask about Can I sniff the pit stains on your blouse? And do I creep you Do I creep you out? Your restraining order's out Still the only question with me now (oh, the only question) Is do I creep you out? (is do I creep you out?) Know exactly where you live now Followed you from work back to your house (Followed you from work back to your house) Well, do I creep you out? Do I creep you out? |
|||||
|
|
10:50 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)
Seven O'clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me She says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynard Skynard?" And I say "I don't know. Say, it's gettin' late...what you wanna do for dinner? She says "I kinda had a big lunch. So I'm not super hungry." I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So what do you have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?" She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat." I said "That's what we're gonna do!" "But first you gotta tell me What it is you're hungry for!" And she says "Let me think... ...What's left in our refrigerator?" I said "Well, there's tuna, I know." She said "That went bad a week ago!" I said "Is the chili OK?" She said "You finished that yesterday!" I hopped up and I said "I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?" She's like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver!" I'm like "No, I said 'delivered'." She's like "I heard you say liver!" I'm like "I should know what I said..." She's like "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!" Well I was gonna say something But my cell phone started to ring Now who could be callin' me? Well I checked my caller ID It was just cousin Larry Callin' for the third time today... My wife said "Let it go to voicemail." I said, "OK." "Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right So what d'ya want to do?" She said "Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah," I said, "Why don't you?" And then she said "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes" I says "No" She says "Yes... ...Oh, here's your keys" I step a little bit closer Say "OK, where ya want to go?" She says "How about The Ivy?" I said "Yeah, well I don't know..." I don't feel like gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive food She's says "Olive Garden?" I say "Nah, I'm not in the mood... ...And Burrito King would make me gassy There's no doubt" She says "Just forget about it" I said "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!" Then I get an idea I says "I know what we'll do!" She says "What?" I say "Guess" She says "What?" I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru!" So we head out the front door Open the garage door Then I open the car doors And we get in those car doors Put my key in the ignition And then I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the driveway Then we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the drive-thru We're approaching the drive-thru Getting close to the drive-thru! Almost there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the drive thru Here in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the drive-thru? Well here we are In the drive-thru line, me and her. Cars in front of us, cars in back of us. All just waiting to order There's some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on behind me I lean out the window and scream "Hey, What you trying to do, blind me?" My wife says "Maybe we should park... ...We could just go eat inside." I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers So I ain't leavin' this ride..." Now a woman on a speaker box Is sayin' "Can I take your order, please?" I said "Yes indeed, you certainly can We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese." Then my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead, this time" I said "You always get a cheeseburger!" She says "That's not what I'm hungry for." I put my head in my hands and screamed, "I don't know who you are anymore!" The voice on the speaker says "I don't have all day!" I said "Then, take our order, And we'll be on our way! I wanna get a chicken sandwich And I want a cheeseburger, too She's like "You want onions on that?" I'm like "Yeah, I already said that I do... ...Plus we need curly fries And don't you dare forget it! And two medium root beers No, just one, we'll split it." Then I said "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too bright... So read me back my order Let's make sure you got it right." She says "One, you want a chicken sandwich. Two, you want a cheeseburger Three, curly fries, and a large root beer" "Stop, don't go no further!" "I never ordered a large rootbeer I said medium, not large!" Then she says "We're havin' a special, I supersized you at no charge." "Oh." And that's all I could say, was "Oh." And she says "Now there is somethin' else That I really think you should know. You can have unlimited refills For just a quarter more..." I say "Great, except we're in the drive thru... So what would I want that for?" Then she says "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like "No, that ain't Paul, Now tell me, who's this Paul? She says "Oh, he's just some guy Who goes to school with me. I sat behind him last year And I copied off him in Geometry. I said "I know a guy named Paul. He used to be my plumber He was prematurely bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer. He also had bladder problems And a really bad infection on his toe." And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there, That's way more than I needed to know!" And then we both were quiet And things got real intense Then she says "Next window please, That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents." So we inched ahead in line Movin' painfully slow I got a little bored So I turned on the radio... <i>[Song plays]</i> <i>[Click]</i> Turned it off Because my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat there quietly For her sake. Then I looked at her And she looked back at me And I said "Um, I think you have somethin' in your teeth." She turned away from me And then turned back and said "Did I get it?" I said "Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it... But hey, ya know, don't sweat it." Then she said "How about now?" I said "Yeah, almost. There's still a little bit there But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast." Now we're at the pay window Or whatever you call it Put my hand in my pocket I can't believe there's no wallet! And the lady at the window's like, "Well, well that'll be five eighty two." I turn around to my wife, and say "How much have you got on you?" She just rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for this, I guess." So she reaches into her purse And busts out the American Express I hand it to the lady And she says "Oh, dear. It's gotta be cash only We don't take credit cards here." I took back the card and said "Gee, really? Well that sucks." And that's when I found out My wife was only carryin' three bucks. I said "I thought you were Going to hit the ATM today" She says "I never got around to it So where's your wallet anyway? And I said "Nevermind, Just help me to find some change..." Now the lady at the window Is lookin at me kinda strange... And she says "Mister, please, We gotta move this line along" I said "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady, We won't be long." We looked around inside the glove-box And check the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in the ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between he seats Before long I had a little pile Of coins of every sort The lady counts it up and says "You're still about a dollar short" And now my woman's got this weird look Frozen on her face She screams, "you know I wasn't even really hungry in the first place" And so I turned around To the cashier again I shrugged and said "OK Forget the chicken sandwich then" So I pick up my change Pick up my receipt And I drive to the pickup window Man, I just can't wait to eat And now we see this acne ridden Kid about sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my name is Eugene." And he hands me a paper bag I look him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Eugene, Can I get some ketchup for my fries?" Well he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he looks at me And I look at him And he says "I'm sorry What did you want again?" I say "Ketchup!" And he says "Oh yeah, that's right... ...I just spaced out there for a second I'm really kind of burnt tonight." And then he hands me the ketchup And now we're finally drivin' away And the food is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating bouquet I'm starvin' to death By the time we pull up at the traffic light I say "Baby, gimme that burger, I just gotta have a bite!" So she reaches in the bag And pulls out the burger And she hands me the burger And I pick up the burger And then I unwrap the paper I bite into those buns And I just can't believe it They forgot the onions! |
|||||
 |
|
4:53 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Craigslist [single] (2009)
Whoa, yeah!
You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive, a custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on Yeah Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance, never approached you at all You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed On Craigslist Yeah, Craigslist, come on I'm on Craigslist, baby Maybe you are too Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard: I know there were 20 people behind me in line But I was on a cell phone call with my mother Didn't you see me hold up my index finger? That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes So what's with the attitude, lady? No tip for you Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have em for free You can drop by on the weekend and pick em up from me But the trash can ain't part of the deal Only givin' you the peanuts, get real Don't have no Hefty bags, so bring your own Don't bug me with questions on the phone Don't ask for help, don't waste my time And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime Just ask yourself Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have 'em all They're on Craigslist, yeah Craigslist, oh baby, come on I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now Craigslist |
|||||
 |
|
3:42 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Internet Leaks [ep] (2009)
Hey girl,
You know our economy's in the toilet But I'm still going to treat you right I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice And we can clip coupons all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please Like Burger King or Mickey Ds And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can even have the large fry (large fry) yeah, yeah Baby, you should know I am really quite a sweet guy When I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply Want it, you can get it, my dear I got my Costco membership card right here, yeah You like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen Got a cupboard full of 'em, I'll keep 'em coming You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it Pork and beans and Minute Rice And we can play Cribbage all night And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah I can take you to the laundromat downtown And watch all the clothes go round and round And baby we can go wherever you like (if you like) I said we can go wherever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo You could be second-runner-up Miss Ohio Seven dollar bills rolled Up inside my plastic billfold Buy you a bagel even if it isn't day old And you never ever gotta wear your sister's old clothes As long as I'm still assistant manager at Kinko's Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl You ain't got to pay me, that's the way that I roll My chick can have want she want At Wal-mart she can pick out anything she want I know girl you ain't never had a man like that Who doesn't make you buy generic brand like that, Yeah You like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday But that's kind of far and I'm not made of cash Do you think you could chip in for gas? Mac and Cheese would be all right But let's send out for pizza tonight And you can order any toppings you like (if you like) I said you can even have the last slice (the last slice) yeah, yeah Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do' Now I can get free HBO And baby you can watch whatever you like (if you like) I said you can watch whatever you like (if you like) yeah And you can always ride the city bus Got a stack of tokens just for us Yo, my wallet's fat and full of ones It's all about the Washingtons, that's right You want White Castle, need White Castle Long as you got me it won't be no hassle You want it, we'll get it, just don't be a hater If I grab a bunch of napkins for later Thrift store jeans on sale half-price The underwear at Goodwill is nice And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah Baby, I can give you anything you please Even share my government cheese And baby you can have as much as you like (if you like) I said you can have as much as you like (if you like) yeah, yeah |
|||||
|
|
4:53 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Internet Leaks [ep] (2009)
Whoa, yeah!
You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive, a custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on Yeah Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance, never approached you at all You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed On Craigslist Yeah, Craigslist, come on I'm on Craigslist, baby Maybe you are too Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard: I know there were 20 people behind me in line But I was on a cell phone call with my mother Didn't you see me hold up my index finger? That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes So what's with the attitude, lady? No tip for you Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have em for free You can drop by on the weekend and pick em up from me But the trash can ain't part of the deal Only givin' you the peanuts, get real Don't have no Hefty bags, so bring your own Don't bug me with questions on the phone Don't ask for help, don't waste my time And don't complain, cause they won't cost you a dime Just ask yourself Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have 'em all They're on Craigslist, yeah Craigslist, oh baby, come on I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now Craigslist |
|||||
|
|
4:02 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Internet Leaks [ep] (2009)
I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard Hit the boards and paid my dues And got phenomenal rave reviews I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone But the years have come and gone And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Just like they've done for the last 50 years Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride Oh, the critics, they used to say I was the new Olivier Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB me The only place you might possibly see me Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland It ain't exactly what I planned But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin 34 shows every day And every time it's the same I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow" But what's the difference, that's all behind me now Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my pride And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I should be there on Broadway Knockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men" But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes Again and again and again and again and again and again and again Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! That's an African bull elephant... And there it is, the backside of water! What have I done with my life?! I shoulda listened when my grandfather said "Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I lied Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride |
|||||
|
|
3:22 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Internet Leaks [ep] (2009)
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene Ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR No, no, no Talkin' about CNR |
|||||
|
|
3:25 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Internet Leaks [ep] (2009)
Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh)
But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the same Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone When my phone goes off at work I look like the biggest jerk Total strangers wanna slap me around When it's ringin' on the terrace My neighbors get embarrassed They're beggin' me to move outta town Well, it made my wife so sick She smashed my iPhone with a brick But I had it fixed, and now it's just fine It's a pain, I sure don't need it And I probably should delete it But for me that would be crossin' the line 'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety nine Hey, I paid good money for this... Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (Really, what was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone Ringtone Ringtone Ahh, ooh Chinese factory workers (they hate my ringtone) Muslim women in burqas (really hate my ringtone) Starvin' kids in Angola (they hate my ringtone) Even folks with Ebola (just hate my ringtone) All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers) All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers) Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea Every single person everywhere unanimously Everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the whole wide world really hates my Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... |
|||||
 |
|
4:02 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Skipper Dan (Single) (2009)
I starred in every high school play
Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard Hit the boards and paid my dues And got phenomenal rave reviews I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone But the years have come and gone And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Just like they've done for the last 50 years Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride Oh, the critics, they used to say I was the new Olivier Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB me The only place you might possibly see me Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland It ain't exactly what I planned But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin 34 shows every day And every time it's the same I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow" But what's the difference, that's all behind me now Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my pride And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I should be there on Broadway Knockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men" But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes Again and again and again and again and again and again and again Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! That's an African bull elephant... And there it is, the backside of water! What have I done with my life?! I shoulda listened when my grandfather said "Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I lied Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride |
|||||
 |
|
3:25 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - Ringtone [single] (2009)
Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh)
But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the same Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone When my phone goes off at work I look like the biggest jerk Total strangers wanna slap me around When it's ringin' on the terrace My neighbors get embarrassed They're beggin' me to move outta town Well, it made my wife so sick She smashed my iPhone with a brick But I had it fixed, and now it's just fine It's a pain, I sure don't need it And I probably should delete it But for me that would be crossin' the line 'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety nine Hey, I paid good money for this... Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (Really, what was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone Ringtone Ringtone Ahh, ooh Chinese factory workers (they hate my ringtone) Muslim women in burqas (really hate my ringtone) Starvin' kids in Angola (they hate my ringtone) Even folks with Ebola (just hate my ringtone) All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers) All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers) Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea Every single person everywhere unanimously Everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the whole wide world really hates my Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... |
|||||
 |
|
3:21 |
|
||
|
from Weird Al Yankovic - CNR (Single) (2009)
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man
The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insane He could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you died Everyday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride Yeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up Gene Ninja warrior, master of disguise He could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeah Oh yeah He had his own line at the DMV He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee Oh yeah Oh yeah, that was something to see, I tell ya Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul I've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen whole He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star You could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's cape But Lord knows you don't mess around with CNR No, no, no Talkin' about CNR |
|||||
 |
|
2:56 |
|
||
| from Weird Al Yankovic - Perform This Way (Parody Of “Born This Way“ By Lady Gaga) [single] (2011) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from Yo Gabba Gabba - Yo Gabba Gabba! Hey! (2017) | |||||
 |
|
- |
|
||
| from Nick at Nite - Nick At Nite Goes To Outer Space (1997) | |||||
Trackback from :: 6clipz.com :: 2009-12-10 13:35:26
Subject : 6clipz.com story
