Mike Joyce

Hand in glove
The sun shines out of our behinds
No, it's not like any other love
This one is different - because it's us

Hand in glove
We can go wherever we please
And everything depends upon
How near you stand to me


And if the people stare
Then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care


Kiss My Shades

Hand in glove
The Good People laugh
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something they'll never have


Hand in glove
The sun shines out of our behinds
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something they'll never have


And if the people stare
Then the people stare
Oh, I really don't know and I really don't care


Kiss My Shades ... oh ...

So, hand in glove I stake my claim
I'll fight to the last breath


If they dare touch a hair on your head
I'll fight to the last breath


For the Good Life is out there somewhere
So stay on my arm, you little charmer


But I know my luck too well
Yes, I know my luck too well
And I'll probably never see you again
I'll probably never see you again
I'll probably never see you again
Oh ...

Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet?
When in this charming car - This charming man!
Why pamper life's complexity
when the leather runs smooth
on the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight,
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
This man said "it's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care"

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
He said "return the ring!"
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things...

I would go out tonight,
but I haven't got a stitch to wear
This man said "it's gruesome
that someone so handsome should care"
Uh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man...

A jumped-up pantry boy
who never knew his place
He said "return the ring!"
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things...
He knows so much about these things...

All men have secrets and here is mine
So let it be known
For we have been through hell and high tide
I think I can rely on you ...
And yet you start to recoil
Heavy words are so lightly thrown
But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you

So, what difference does it make ?
So, what difference does it make ?
It makes none
But now you have gone
And you must be looking very old tonight


The devil will find work for idle hands to do
I stole and I lied, and why ?
Because you asked me to !
But now you make me feel so ashamed
Because I've only got two hands
Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh


So, what difference does it make ?
Oh, what difference does it make ?
Oh, it makes none
But now you have gone
And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight


Oh, the devil will find work for idle hands to do
I stole, and then I lied
Just because you asked me to
But now you know the truth about me
You won't see me anymore
Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh


But no more apologies
No more, no more apologies
Oh, I'm too tired
I'm so sick and tired
And I'm feeling very sick and ill today
But I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh


Oh, my sacred one ...
Oh ...

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?

What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed

"You've been in the house too long
she said And I (naturally) fled


In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled

In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die

The rain falls hard on a humdrum town
This town has dragged you down
Oh, the rain falls hard on a humdrum town
This town has dragged you down
Oh, no, and everybody's got to live their life
And God knows I've got to live mine
God knows I've got to live mine
William, William it was really nothing
William, William it was really nothing
It was your life ...

How can you stay with a fat girl who'll say :
"Oh ! Would you like to marry me ?
"And if you like you can buy the ring"
She doesn't care about anything
Would you like to marry me ?
And if you like you can buy the ring
I don't dream about anyone - except myself !
Oh, William, William it was really nothing
William, William

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does


I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular


You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does


There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die


When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone


You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Young bones groan
And the rocks below say :
"Throw your skinny body down, son !"

But I'm going to meet the one I love
So please don't stand in my way
Because I'm going to meet the one I love
No, Mamma, let me go !


Young bones groan
And the rocks below say :
"Throw your white body down !"


But I'm going to meet the one I love
At last ! At last ! At last !
I'm going to meet the one I love
La-de-da, la-de-da
No, Mamma, let me go !
No ...


I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A Protest Singer
Oh, I can smile about it now
But at the time it was terrible
No, Mamma, let me go
No ...

Park the car at the side of the road
You should know
Time's tide will smother you And I will too

When you laugh about people who feel so
Very lonely.
Their only desire is to die Well, I'm afraid
It doesn't make me smile
I wish I could laugh

But that joke isn't funny anymore
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
More than you'll ever know ...

Kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down

It was dark as I drove the point home
And on cold leather seats
Well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my
Face after all

I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
And now it's happening in mine
(x3times..)

The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies A murderous desire for love
How can they look into my eyes And still they don't believe me ?

How can they hear me say those words
Still they don't believe me ?

And if they don't believe me now
Will they ever believe me ?

And if they don't believe me now
Will they ever, they ever, believe me ?


The boy with the thorn in his side
Behind the hatred there lies A plundering desire for love


How can they see the Love in our eyes
And still they don't believe us

And after all this time
They don't want to believe us
And if they don't believe us now Will they ever believe us ?
And when you want to Live How do you start ?

Where do you go ?
Who do you need to know ?
ah...

Sweetness, sweetness i was only jokingWhen i said i'd like to smash every toothIn your headOh... sweetness, sweetness, i was only jokingWhen i said by rights you should beBludgeoned in your bedAnd now i know how joan of arc feltNow i know how joan of arc feltAs the flames rose to her roman noseAnd her walkman started to meltOh...Bigmouth, la... bigmouth, la...Bigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceOh, bigmouth, la... bigmouth, laBigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceAnd now i know how joan of arc feltNow i know how joan of arc feltAs the flames rose to her roman noseAnd her hearing aid started to meltBigmouth, la... bigmouth, la...Bigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceOh...Bigmouth, oh... bigmouth, la...Bigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceOh ...Bigmouth, oh... bigmouth, la...Bigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceOh...Bigmouth, oh... bigmouth, la...Bigmouth strikes againAnd i've got no right to take my placeWith the human raceOh...

Panic on the streets of London
Panic on the streets of Birmingham
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again ?
The Leeds side-streets that you slip down
I wonder to myself
Hopes may rise on the Grasmere

But Honey Pie, you're not safe here
So you run down
To the safety of the town
But there's Panic on the streets of Carlisle
Dublin, Dundee, Humberside
I wonder to myself

Burn down the disco
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music that they constantly play
IT SAYS NOTHING TO ME ABOUT MY LIFE
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music they constantly play

On the Leeds side-streets that you slip down
Provincial towns you jog 'round
Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ, Hang the DJ ..

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
ASK ME - I WON'T SAY "NO" - HOW COULD I ?

Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you'd like to


So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
ASK ME - I WON'T SAY "NO" - HOW COULD I ?

Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb..
That will bring us together

Nature is a language - can't you read ?
Nature is a language - can't you read ?

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a list of crime
My only weakness is ... well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over


Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four


Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over


A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push - and it's over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began ...
I was bored before I even began


Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Take over

Is it wrong to want to live on your own ?
No, it's not wrong - but I must know
How can someone so young
Sing words so sad ?

Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear
And don't go home tonight
Come out and find the one
that you love and who loves you
The one that you love and who loves you
Oh ...

Is it wrong not to always be glad ?
No, it's not wrong - but I must add
How can someone so young
Sing words so sad ?

Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear
And don't go home tonight
Come out and find the one that you love and who loves you
The one that you love and who loves you

Take my hand and off we stride
Oh, la ...
You're a girl and I'm a boy
La ...
Take my hand and off we stride
Oh, la ...
I'm a girl and you're a boy
La

Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
La ...
Throw your homework onto the fire
Come out and find the one that you love
Come out and find the one you love

Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know - it's serious

Girlfriend in a coma, I know I know - it's really serious

There were times when I could Have "murdered" her

(But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to her)

NO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER

Do you really think She'll pull through ?

Do you really think She'll pull through ?

Girlfriend in a coma, I know I know - it's serious
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye
There were times when I could Have "strangled" her

(But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to her)

WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME SEE HER !

Do you really think She'll pull through ?

Do you really think She'll pull through ?

Do ... Let me whisper my last goodbyes

I know - IT'S SERIOUS

The lanes were silent
There was nothing, no one,
nothing around for miles
I doused our friendly venture
With a hard-faced
Three-word gesture

I started something
I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly
Never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted
Typical me, typical me
Typical me
I started something
...And now I'm not too sure

I grabbed you by the guilded beams
Uh, that's what tradition means
And I doused another venture
With a gesture
That was ... absolutely vile

I started something
I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly
Never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted
Typical me, typical me
Typical me
I started something
...And now I'm not too sure

I grabbed you by the guilded beams
Uh, that's what tradition means
And now eighteen months' hard labour
Seems ... fair enough

I started something
And I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly
Never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted
Typical me, typical me
Typical me
I started something
And now I'm not too sure

Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm


So, tell me how long
Before the last one ?
And tell me how long
Before the right one ?


The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on


Oh, GOES ON
And on
Oh, goes on
And on

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their
Home, and I'm welcome no more


And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine


Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
(But then a strange fear gripped me and I
Just couldn't ask)


Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, da ...
Oh, I haven't got one


And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine


Oh, There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out

Farewell to this land's cheerless marches
hemmed in like a boar between arches
her very Lowness with her head in a sling
I'm truly sorry but it sounds like a wonderful thing

I say Charles don't you ever crave
to appear on the front of the Daily Mail
dressed in your Mother's bridal veil?

And so I checked all the registered historical facts
and I was shocked into shame to discover
how I'm the 18th pale descendent
of some old queen or other

Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
some nine year old tough who peddles drugs
I swear to God, I swear I never even knew what drugs were

So I broke into the Palace
with a sponge and a rusty spanner
she said: "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said: "that's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
and talk about precious things
but when you are tied to your mother's apron
no-one talks about castration

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
and talk about precious things
like love and law and poverty
these are the things that kill me

We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
and talk about precious things
but the rain that flattens my hair
these are the things that kill me

Passed the pub that saps your body
and the church who'll snatch your money
the Queen is dead, boys
and it's so lonely on a limb

Pass the pub that wrecks your body
and the church, all they want is your money
the Queen is dead, boys
and it's so lonely on a limb

Life is very long, when you're lonely
life is very long, when you're lonely
life is very long, when you're lonely
life is very long, when you're lonely

dreaded sunny day
so I meet you at the cemetery gates
Keats and Yeats are on your side

A dreaded sunny day
so I meet you at the cemetery gates
Keats and Yeats are on your side
while Wilde is on mine

So we go inside and we gravely read the stones
all those people all those lives
where are they now?
with the loves and hates
and passions just like mine
they were born
and then they lived and then they died
seems so unfair
and I want to cry

You say "ere thrice the sun done salutation to the dawn"
and you claim these words as your own
but I've read well, and I've heard them said
a hundred times, maybe less, maybe more

If you must write prose and poems
the words you use should be your own
don't plagiarise or take "on loans"
there's always someone, somewhere
with a big nose, who knows
and who trips you up and laughs
when you fall
who'll trip you up and laugh
when you fall

You say "ere long done do does did"
words which could only be your own
and then you then produce the text
from whence was ripped some dizzy whore, 1804

A dreaded sunny day
so let's go where we're happy
and I meet you at the cemetery gates
Oh Keats and Yeats are on your side

A dreaded sunny day
so let's go where we're wanted
and I meet you at the cemetery gates
Keats and Yeats are on your side
but you lose because Wilde is on mine

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean?
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone

Punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet?

When in this charming car
This charming man

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat?

I would go out tonight
But I haven't got a stitch to wear
This man said "it's gruesome
That someone so handsome should care"

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy
Who never knew his place
He said "return the ring"
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things

I would go out tonight
But I haven't got a stitch to wear
This man said "it's gruesome
That someone so handsome should care"
La, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man...
Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man...

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy
Who never knew his place
He said "return the ring"
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things

New York version adds :

I would go out tonight
But I haven't got a stitch to wear

I would go out tonight
But I haven't got a stitch to wear
Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man...
Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, this charming man...

Ah ! A jumped-up pantry boy
Who never knew his place
He said "return the ring"
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things
He knows so much about these things