The Magnetic Fields

Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True, I'm in love with you, but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutely cuckoo
Then when you see your error
Then you can flee in terror
Like everybody else does
I only tell you this 'cause
I'm easy to get rid of
But not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
And if you make a mistake
My heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
And all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True, I'm in love with you, but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutely cuckoo
Then when you see your error
Then you can flee in terror
Like everybody else does
I only tell you this 'cause
I'm easy to get rid of
But not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
And if you make a mistake
My heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
And all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

They say there's a sun in the sky
But me, I can't imagine why
There might have been one
Before you were gone
But now all I see is the night

So I don't believe in the sun
How could it shine down on everyone
And never shine on me
How could there be
Such cruelty

The only sun I ever knew
Was the beautiful one that was you
Since you went away
It's night time all day
And it's usually raining, too

So I don't believe in the sun
How could it shine down on everyone
And never shine on me
How could there be
Such cruelty

The only stars there really are
Were shining in your eyes
There is no sun except the one
That never shone on other guys
The moon to whom the poets croon
Has given up and died
Astronomy will have to be revised

I don't believe in the sun
How could it shine down on everyone
And never shine on me
How could there be
Such cruelty

You are a splendid butterfly
It is your wings that make you beautiful
And I could make you fly away
But I could never make you stay

You said you were in love with me
Both of us know that that's impossible
And I could make you rue the day
But I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words

Now that you've made me want to die
You tell me that you're unboyfriendable
And I could make you pay and pay
But I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words

Eligible, not too stupid
Intelligable and cute as Cupid
Knowledgable but not always right
Salvageable and free for the night

Well, my heart's running 'round like a chicken with its head cut off
All around the barnyard, falling in and out of love
Poor thing's blind as a bat, getting up, falling down, getting up
Who'd fall in love with a chicken with its head cut off?
Woah, nelly!

My wife doesn't understand me
Many dozens hope to land me
I'm for free love and I'm in free fall
This could be love or nothing at all

But my heart's running 'round like a chicken with its head cut off
All around the barnyard, falling in and out of love
The poor thing's blind as a bat, getting up, falling down, getting up
Who'd fall in love with a chicken with its head cut off?

We don't have to be stars exploding in the night, or electric eels under the covers
We don't have to be anything quite so unreal, let's just be lovers

Well, my heart's running 'round like a chicken with its head cut off
All around the barnyard, falling in and out of love
The poor thing's blind as a bat, getting up, falling down, getting up
Who'd fall in love with a chicken with its head cut off?
It ain't pretty

Reno, Dakota
There's not an iota
Of kindness in you
You know you enthrall me
And yet you don't call me
It's making me blue
Pantone 292

Reno, Dakota
I'm reaching my quota
Of tears for the year
Alas and alack
You just don't call me back
You have just disappeared
It makes me drink beer

I know you're a recluse
You know that's no excuse
Reno, that's just a ruse
Do not play fast and loose
With my heart

Reno, Dakota
I'm no Nino Rota
I don't know the score
Have I annoyed you
Or is there a boy who
Well, he's just a whore
I've had him before
It makes me drink more

I don't want to get over you
I guess I could take a sleeping pill
And sleep at will
And not have to go through
What I go through
I guess I should take Prozac, right?
And just smile all night
At somebody new
Somebody not too bright
But sweet and kind
Who would try to get you off my mind
I could leave this agony behind
Which is just what I'd do
If I wanted to
But I don't want to get over you

'Cause I don't want to get over love
I could listen to my therapist
Pretend you don't exist
And not have to dream of
What I dream of
I could listen to all my friends
And go out again
And pretend it's enough
Or I could make a career of being blue
I could dress in black and read Camus
Smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
Like I was seventeen
That would be a scream
But I don't want to get over you

Come back from San Francisco
It can't be all that pretty
When all of New York City misses you
Should pretty boys in discos
Distract you from your novel
Remember I'm awful in love with you

You need me
Like the wind needs the trees
To blow in
Like the moon needs poetry
You need me

Come back from San Francisco
And kiss me, I've quit smoking
I miss doing the wild thing with you
Will you stay, I don't think so
But all I do is worry
Pack bags, call cabs, and hurry home to me

You need me
Like the wind needs the trees
To blow in
Like the moon needs poetry
You need me

You need me
Like the wind needs the trees
To blow in
Like the moon needs poetry
You need me

When you betray me, betray me with a kiss
Damn you, I've never stayed up as late as this

Andy would bicycle across town
In the rain to bring you candy
And John would buy the gown
For you to wear to the prom
With Tom the astronomer, who'd name a star for you

But I'm the luckiest guy
On the Lower East Side
'Cause I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride

Harry is the one I think you'll marry
But it's Chris that you kissed after school
Well, I'm a fool, there's no doubt
But when the sun comes out
And only when the sun comes out

I'm the luckiest guy
On the Lower East Side
'Cause I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride

The day is beautiful and so are you
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly too
I know you'd never give me a second glance
But when the weather's nice all the other guys don't stand a chance

I know Professor Blumen makes you feel like a woman
But when the wind is in your hair you laugh like a little girl
So you share secrets with Lou, but we've got secrets too
Well, one: I only keep this heap for you

'Cause I'm the ugliest guy
On the Lower East Side
But I've got wheels
And you want to go for a ride
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?
Want to go for a ride?

If you knew how I long
For you now that you're gone
You'd grow wings and fly
Home to me
Home tonight
And in the morning sun

Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
Let's do it all day long
Let abbots, Babbitts and Cabots
Say Mother Nature's wrong
And when we've had a couple'a'beers
We'll put on bunny suits
I long to nibble your ears
And do as bunnies do

Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
Let's do it all day long
Rapidly becoming rabid
Singing little rabbit songs
I can keep it up all night
I can keep it up all day
Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
Until we pass away

Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
Until we pass away

The cactus where your heart should be has lovely
little flowers so though it's always pricking me
my ardor never sours The cactus where your heart
once was has power to rend and flay I stick because
I'm stuck, because I just can't tear myself away

Time stands still -- all I can feel is the time standing still.
As you put down the keys and say 'don't call me please', while the radio plays,
"I Think I Need a New Heart", oh...
"I Think I Need a New Heart", oh...

You've lied, too, but it's a sin that I can't tell the truth,
Cause it all comes out wrong unless I put it in a song, so the radio plays,
"I Think I Need a New Heart", just for you.
"I Think I Need a New Heart".

Cause I always say "I love you", when I mean "turn out the light".
And I say "let's run away", when I just mean "stay the night".
But the words you want to hear, you will never hear from me.
I'll never say "happy anniversary"; never stay to say "happy anniversary".

So I think I need a new heart, oh...
I think I need a new heart, oh...
I think I need a new heart, oh...
I think I need a new heart, oh...
Give me time...

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
and instructions for dancing
but I, I love it when you read to me
and you, you can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
but I, I love it when you sing to me
and you, you can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
and written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
and things we're all too young to know
but I, I love it when you give me things
and you, you ought to give me wedding rings
I, I love it when you give me things
and you, you ought to give me wedding rings

Fido, your leash is too long
You go where you don't belong
You've been digging in the rubble
Gettin' bitches in trouble
Fido, your leash is too long

Fido, your leash is too long
I don't know where I went wrong
You scare me out of my wits
When you do that Shih Tzu
Fido, your leash is too long

Fido, you've gone far enough
I must have all of your love
You just run out of luck
I don't care what you foxhounds
Do, but your leash is too long

how fucking romantic
all the stars are out
twinkling twinkling twinkling
and fluttering about

what a tacky sunset
what a vulgar moon
play another charming
rogers and hart tune

how fucking romantic
must we really waltz?
drag another cliche
howling from the vaults

love you obviously
like you really care
even though you treat me
like a dancing bear

toss your bear a goldfish
as he cycles by
don't forget to feed your
bear or it'll die

I do believe our love's in danger
I might as well be loving air
You look at me like I'm a stranger
You look at me like I'm not there

I gaze into your eyes of blue
But their beauty is not for me
You're thinking on someone who's gone
You're dreaming of the one you really love

I made you mine, or so it seemed
Though he is dead he haunts your dreams
I might as well be two foot tall
You never will love me at all...

I gaze into your eyes of blue
but their beauty is not for me
You're thinking on someone who's gone
You're dreaming of the one you really love
You're dreaming of the corpse you really love

Punk Love
Punk Love
Punk Rock Love

I'll linger here your ring upon my finger dear and sing till dawn
a song of you and me and what and why for time is all I have to keep
between these walls and half asleep the days go by a million little
nights and days go by and I don't mind Parades go by So many beautiful
parades go by Leave me behind I'll sit and stare how could I venture
anywhere and let the centuries fall where they may but never die
for I have loved and so I lost the world above beyond the moss...

I spend my evenings alone
talking to your picture, babe
Love is wrapped around my heart
like a boa constrictor, babe

My mother should have murdered me
What jury would convict her, babe?
for love is wrapped around my heart
like a boa constrictor, babe

A pretty girl is like a minstrel show
It makes you laugh
It makes you cry
You go
It just isn't the same on radio
It's all about the makeup and the dancing and the Oh

A pretty girl is like a violent crime
If you do it wrong you could do time
But if you do it right it is sublime
I'm so in love with you, girl,
It's like I'm on the moon
I can't really breathe, but I feel lighter

A melody is like a pretty girl
Who cares if it's the dumbest in the world
It's all about the way that it unfurls
A pretty girl is like
A pretty girl

I'm a hopeless romantic
You're a terrible flirt
Cool and unfazed,
you're always amazed
when someone gets hurt
I live on the blue planet
that I saw in your eyes
but now I can't stay
knowing it's made
of beautiful lies

but my sentimental melody
like a long-lost lullabye
will ring in your ears
down through the years
bringing a tear to your eye
Goodbye

Love can kill people, can't it
Well it still might kill me
Each drop of rain
is a glass of champagne
It's sweet and it's free
When I drink I don't panic
When I drink I don't die
When I'm far gone
it's all just a song
just beautiful lies...

but my sentimental melody
like a long-lost lullabye
will ring in your ears
down through the years
bringing a tear to your eye
Goodbye

Dance with me my old friend
Once before we go
Let's pretend this song won't end
And we never have to go home
And we'll dance among the chandeliers

And nothing matters when we're dancing
In tat or tatters you're entrancing
Be we in Paris or in Lansing
Nothing matters when we're dancing

You've never been more beautiful
Your eyes like two full moons
Than here in this poor old dance hall
Among the dreadful tunes
The awful songs we don't even hear

And nothing matters when we're dancing
In tat or tatters you're entrancing
Be we in Paris or in Lansing
Nothing matters when we're dancing

There's an hour of sunshine for a million years of rain
but somehow that always seems to be enough.
When love falls from the sky nobody ever asks why
You just take it or you leave it where it was,

but there's just one kind of love you can spend your life dreaming of.

For the love of a sweet-lovin' man.
Some have traveled far and wide,
some have given up and died
For the love of a sweet-lovin' man.
Some have broken down and cried,
some have turned to dust inside,
but I'll stay right here and hide
in the arms of my sweet-lovin' man.

Until you've had sweet lovin' there's no lovin' worth the name,
but you can go blind from crying all the time,
and who said life was easy and who said a man was fair?
Well I wish you well but keep your paws off mine.

You can't buy one at the mall but he'll come if you just call...

Buy more stock in roses
Millionaires will always woo
Don't be shocked if roses
Make a millionaire of you

(The only requirement, when playing this song, is that you wear sunglasses)

Love is like jazz
You make it up as you go along
and you act as
if you really knew the song
but you don't
and you never will
so you flaunt your mistakes
and you make them until
they were you
Love is like jazz
the same song a million times
in different ways
"Strange Fruit" with
and without wind chimes
It's divine
It's asinine
It's depressing
and it's almost entirely
window dressing
but it'll do

Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet
Amazing he's a whole new form of life
Blue eyes blazing and he's going to be my wife
The world does the hula-hula when my boy walks down the street
Everyone thinks he's Petula so big and yet so petite
Butterflies turn into people when my boy walks down the street
Maybe he should be illegal he just makes life too complete...
Amazing he's a whole new form of life
Blue eyes blazing and he's going to be my wife
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories
Oh, things that he brings that he found in the sea
Oh, shadows of echoes of memories of songs
Oh, how could he know that it won't be long...
Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street
There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat
Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street
Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet

There'll be time enough for rocking when we're old We can rock all day in
rocking chairs of gold but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing
There'll be time enough for rocking when we're old, my love There'll be time
enough for talk in the nursing home Darling, time enough to write an epic
poem but tonight I think I'd rather just go dancing There'll be time enough
for talking in the home, my love There'll be time enough for sleeping when
we're dead You will have a velvet pillow for your head but tonight I think
I'd rather just go dancing There'll be time enough for sleeping when we're
dead, my love There'll be time for sex and drugs in Heaven when our
pheromones are turned up to 11 but tonight I think I'd rather just go
dancing There'll be time enough for sex and drugs in Heaven, my love and
time enough for rocking when we're old

Everybody knows but me, when you go where you shouldn't be.
Everybody knows but me, where you go when you're feeling free.
Everybody knows but me.
So you go there for a laugh. You just go to take photographs.
To believe that, I'd be daft but yes I think you go for a laugh
and you say, I love you honey.
Very funny.

If I was the Grand Canyon
I'd echo everything you say
but I'm just me I'm only me
and you used to love me that way
so you know how to love me that way

If I was Paul Bunyan
I'd carry you so far away
but I'm just me I'm only me
and you used to love me that way
so you know how to love me that way.

If you don't mind, why don't you mind?
Where is your sense of indignation.
You are too kind, much too kind.
Where is the madness that you promised me?
Where is the dream for which I paid dearly?

When things go wrong I sing along.
It is the nature of the business.
But you're not here to make my sad songs more sincere.

No one will ever love you honestly.
No one will ever love you for your honesty.
No one will ever love you honestly.
No one will ever love you for your honesty.

Softly the crystals falling on 17th Street do their dance and die and are gone.
Millions of crystal balls roll around your feet and nothing gets done.
An hour goes by, She doesn't.
If you don't cry it isn't love.
If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough.

Dying all day in thousands of little ways. Dancing alone and drinking a lot.
Closing the clubs and haunting the cabarets looking for what.
Another five years off your life.
If you don't cry it isn't love.
If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough.

A year goes by, She doesn't.
If you don't cry it isn't love.
If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough.
If you don't cry it isn't love.
If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough.

I will stay if you let me stay
and I'll go if you let go,
but I won't go far away
because you're my only home.

And I will hide what you want hidden
and I'll roam if you say roam,
but I'd just as soon you didn't
because you're my only home.

When you cancel dinner plans;
when you cross the street and you don't take my hand;
when you make impossible demands I wish I didn't understand,

I will stay if you let me stay
and I'll go if you let go,
but I won't go far away
because you're my only home.

I will hide what you want hidden
and I'll roam if you say roam,
but I'd just as soon you didn't
because you're my only home.

Billie you're a miracle and God knows I need one.
Sing me something terrible that even dawn may come.
You and me, we don't believe in happy endings.
Hey, Lady Day, can you save my life this time?
Can you cry so beautifully you make my troubles rhyme?

Hey, Lady Day, can you save my life again?
My only love has gone away.
Will you be my only friend?

Billie you're a genius enough to be a fool.
A fool to gamble everything and never know the rules.
Some of us can only live in songs of love and trouble.
Some of us can only live in bubbles.

Hey, Lady Day, can you save my life again?
My only love has gone away.
Will you be my only friend?

What if the show couldn't go on What if we all got jobs
and got to bed before dawn What if Old Joe had to retire
What if all the stage hands were let go or fired
that's just like what the world would be
If you fell out of love with me

I can't let this happen to you
don't you let it happen to me
What would our friends and family say
if they could only see
If you let this happen to us
don't think you'd be setting me free
Wasn't it you and I who made
promises of eternity

What if the lights didn't go on
What if the velvet curtain had to be taken down
What if the clowns couldn't be clowns
and all those painted smiles gave in to plaintive frowns
What if no show ever happened again
No Seven, no 8 1/2, no Nine, and no 10
All numbers and no mystery
No promise of eternity...

I can't let this happen to you
don't you let it happen to me
What would our friends and family say
if they could only see
If you let this happen to us
don't think you'd be setting me free
Wasn't it you and I who made
promises of eternity

When the rhythm calls the government falls. Here come the cops.
From Tokyo to Soweto viva la musica pop.
We are black & white and we dance all night down at the hop,
and the letters were tall on the Berlin Wall viva la musica pop.
So if you're feeling low stuck in some bardo,
I, even I know the solution
love, music, wine and revolution.
love, love,
love music, wine and revolution.
This too shall pass so raise your glass to change and chance,
and freedom is the only law shall we dance...

W a-s-h i-n-g t-o-n, baby, D.C.!
W a-s-h i-n-g t-o-n, baby, D.C.!
Washington, D.C.
It's paradise to me
It's not because it is the grand old seat
Of precious freedom and democracy
No, no, no
It's not the greenery turning gold in fall
The scenery circling the Mall
It's just that's where my baby lives
That's all.
Washington D.C.!
It's the greatest place to be
It's not the cherries everywhere in bloom
It's not the way they put folks on the moon
No, no, no
It's not the spectacles and pagaentry
The thousand things you've got to see
It's just that's where my baby waits for me
W a-s-h i-n-g t-o-n, baby D.C.!
W a-s-h i-n-g t-o-n, baby D.C.!
Washington, D.C.!
It fits me to a T
It's not the people doing something real
It's not the way the springtime makes you feel
No, no, no
It ain't no famous name on a golden plaque
That keeps me that makes me ride that railroad track
It's my baby's kiss that keeps me coming back
It's my baby's kiss that keeps me coming back

Someone told me you'd be here
Whispering these familiar things
Talking to my little pet, smoking the same old cigarettes
…I would have laughed

I saw you last in summertime
You said you hated long goodby-y-yes
You said, “There's nothing to explain, in every life a little rain"?
…etcetera

~ chorus ~
And a long-forgotten fairytale is in your eyes again
And I'm caught inside a dream world where the colors are too intense
…and nothing is making sense

There's a floating town of ire down in a mist of mystery
There's an old enchanted castle and the princess there is me
…decked-out like a Christmas tree
~ end chorus ~

I guess you've had your little joke
But I have lost my sense of hu-u-mor
My medication's wearing off, for it's just not strong enough
…to cover this.

Then you kissed me like before
I found myself wanting more
And you tell that little lie that kept me hypnotized
…another kiss

~ chorus ~

If somebody told me I'd succumb
If someone said I'd be so dumb
After all the sleepless nights, when I turned on all the lights
…I would have hit them

But I have turned the other cheek
My voice trembles, my knees are weak

And you beat me once again
And I know what happens then
…you raise the ante

~ chorus ~

He is my lord, He is my saviour and
He rewards my good behavior
My secret soul, I know He's seen it

He says, come here baby and
kiss me like you mean it
He calls me baby,
says kiss me like you mean it

He is my life and my salvation
He's always right,
He's always patient
I pinch myself
It's like I'm dreaming it...

He says, come here baby and
kiss me like you mean it
He calls me baby,
says kiss me like you mean it

He is my love, He's always been it...

Caution: to prevent electric shock
do not remove cover
No user-serviceable parts inside
Refer servicing to qualified
service personnel

Let this be the epitaph for my heart
Cupid put too much poison in the dart
This is the epitaph for my heart
because it's gone, gone gone
and life goes on and on anon
and death goes on, world without end
and you're not my friend

Who will mourn the passing of my heart
Will its little droppings climb the pop chart
Who'll take its ashes and,
singing, fling them from the top of the Brill Building
And life goes on, and dawn, and dawn
and death goes on, world without end and you're
not my friend

I've seen you laugh at nothing at all
I've seen you sadly weeping
The sweetest thing I ever saw
Was you asleep and dreaming

Well you may not be beautiful
But it's not for me to judge
I don't know if you're beautiful
Because I love you too much

I've seen you laugh at nothing at all
I've seen you sadly weeping
The sweetest thing I ever saw
Was you asleep and dreaming

I've seen you when your ship came in
And when your train was leaving
The sweetest thing I ever saw
Was you asleep and dreaming

So the sun goes down and the world goes dancing
And the stars come out and they all go dancing
And there is nothing I'd like more
Than a twirl across this rickety old floor

Well I don't know why but I just feel like dancing
I can't imagine why but I feel like dancing
And there is nothing in this world
That I'd like better than a twirl across your rickety old floor

Maybe it's you
You know your eyes are awful blue
Maybe it's more
Maybe you're all I ever waited for
After all the endless nights when I wished I could still cry

So far away and so alone
how could I ever take you home
You're beautiful, beautiful

You've got a devastating point of view
and everything you say is true
You're beautiful, beautiful

The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"
The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song
and the moon begins to sing

I kiss you and the sun goes down
How come it's always dark when you're around
You're beautiful, beautiful
The nightbirds start to sing their favorite song
The moon begins to sing
You're beautiful, beautiful

The stars begin their Busby Berkeley dance:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"

And the night becomes a musical extravaganza:
"The Way You Say Good-Night"

The way you say good-night
I dream of all day long
Oh, I could write a song about the way you say good-night...

Abigail,
Can you feel my heart in the palm of your hand
And do you understand
Why I can't stay

Abigail,
An evil wind is blowing through the land
And they need every man
To drive it away

When I come home,
If I come home,
You'll be a grown woman
When I come home,
If I come home,
Don't be alone, Abigail, belle of Kilronan

Abigail's
Gonna be the beauty of County Galway
And she will live always
In a world of love

Abigail,
I'm off to the war
But you can be sure
I will know you're
What I'm fighting for...

Bang there was you too gold too blue
You told the truth. I cried. You flew.
You called me mad (and I am mad) as a hatter.
Some fall in love I shatter.

You make it rain. Too bleak, too stark.
Should night not fall you make things dark...
You called me mad (and I am mad) as a hatter.
Some fall in love I shatter.

Bang here am I no one nowhere.
No ground no sky, no light no air.
You called me mad (and I am mad) as a hatter.
Some fall in love I shatter.

A pretty girl in her underwear..
A pretty girl in her underwear...
If there's anything better in this world -- who cares?

La mort, c'est la mort,
Mais l'amour, c'est l'amour.
La mort, c'est seulement la mort,
Mais l'amour, c'est l'amour.

A pretty boy in his underwear...
A pretty boy in his underwear...
If there's a better reason to jump for joy -- who cares?

La mort, c'est la mort,
Mais l'amour, c'est l'amour.
La mort, c'est seulement la mort,
Mais l'amour, c'est l'amour.

It's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love,
so hard, so hard.

I shouldn't have bothered,
cause you're just like all the others.
Now I know, and I won't do that again.
I should've guessed that you'd be just like all the rest.
Now I know not to go through that again.
I'm still crying all night and all day,
but if I show it, someone lock me away, because

it's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love,
so hard, so hard.

My mother said gently, you can buy her a Bentley,
but my son, she'll only drive it away.
I didn't listen, cause my brain was missing,
and I only found it today.
I was a man but now I'm only a child.
And if it kills me I am going to smile, cause

it's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love,
so hard, so hard.

You won't be hearing from me anymore,
cause I can't see through my tears anymore.
If it takes years to be any more than a jellyfish,
I will not tell you this, because

it's a crime to fall in love.
Heart and mind, and soul in love.
It's a crime to fall in love,
so hard, so hard.
So hard, so hard.

I should have forgotten you long ago
But you're in every song I know
Whining and pining is wrong and so
On and so forth, of course of course,
But no, you can't have a divorce

I haven't seen you in ages
But it's not as bleak as it seems
We still dance on whirling stages
In my Busby Berkeley dreams
The tears have stained all the pages
Of my True Romance magazines
We still dance in my outrageously beautiful
Busby Berkeley dreams

And now you want to leave me for good
I refuse to believe you could
You forget we're not made of wood
Well darling you may do your worst
Because you'll have to kill me first

Do you think it's dangerous
To have Busby Berkeley dreams?

A single rose in your garden dwells
Like any rose it's not itself
It is my love in your garden grows
but let's pretend it's just a rose
Well I'm sorry that I love you
It's a phase that I'm going through
There is nothing that I can do
and I'm sorry that I love you
Do not listen to my song
Don't remember it, don't sing along
Let's pretned it's a work of art
Let's pretend it's not my heart...
The rose will fade when summer's gone
The song will fade and I'll be gone
because my heart is dying too
and it's all the same to you

Acoustic Guitar,
I'm gonna make you a star,
Get your picture all over the world

Acoustic Guitar,
You can have your own car,
Just bring me back my girl

She always loved the sound of your strum
You made her think, maybe, I wasn't so dumb
She tends to faint at the sound of a drum
Cuz she's folk, so play it, maybe she'll come

Acoustic Guitar, how lovely you are
With your inlays of mother of pearl
Be a good guitar and you could go far
Just bring me back my girl

She always said that you were the one
That could make her move her cute little bum
You understand where she's coming from
Which I obviously don't, or she wouldn't be gone

Acoustic guitar, if you think I play hard
Well you could've belonged to Steve Earle
Or Charo Or GWAR, I could sell you tomorrow

So bring me back my girl
You'd better bring me back my girl

I met Ferdinand de Saussure
On a night like this
On love he said
"I'm not so sure
I even know what it is
No understanding
No closure
It is a nemesis
You can't use a bulldozer
To study orchids"

He said...
So we don't know anything
You don't know anything
I don't know anything
about love
But we are nothing
You are nothing
I am nothing
Without love

I'm just a great composer
And not a violent man
But I lost my composure
And I shot Ferdinand
Crying "it's well and kosher
to say you don't understand
but this is for Holland-Dozier-Holland"

His last words were
We don't know anything (etc)

His fading words were
We don't know anything (etc)

The woman with no nose
I know where she goes
The old guy with the gold eye
We go back, he & I
Don't smile
We don't do that here baby

Love in the Shadows
Was never hard to find
Sometimes the moonglow
Plays tricks on your mind
Love in The Shadows is the only kind

The whispers you hear
Are not sweet nothings
Let's have one more beer
And I'll tell you something
Don't laugh
I think you're beautiful

Love In the Shadows
Was never hard to find
Sometimes the moonglow
Plays tricks on your mind
Love in the Shadows is the only kind

Bitter tears keep me going
Through the years, freely flowing
What have you done?
Only a gun could stop these bitter tears

The endless streets I walk along
You made them seem pretty
But now I dream in country songs
And wake in New York City...

Bitter tears keep me going
Through the years, freely flowing
What have you done?
Only a gun could stop these bitter tears

I cry because it looks so good
I cry, why not? It's free
And there's nothing more interesting
Than crying constantly...

And as I tell everyone,
Crying all the time is fun,
Bitter tears keep me going
Through the years, freely flowing
What have you done?
Only a gun could stop these bitter tears

Are you out of love with me?
Are you longing to be free?
Do I drive you up a tree?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
Do I drive you up the wall?
Do you dread every phone call?
Can you not stand me at all?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
Though I need you more than air
is it true you just don't care?
Are you having an affair?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
When we met I thought
money was everything
so I let you buy the house,
the car, the ring
but I can't take your perpetual whining
and you can't sing
I though if we live apart
we could made a brand-new start
Do you want to break my heart?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
I've enjoyed making you
miserable for years
found peace of mind in
playing on your fears
How I loved to catch your gold
and silver tears, but now my dear
What a dark and dreary life
Are you reaching for a knife?
Could you really kill your wife?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
Of, I die, I die, I die!
So it's over, you and I
Was my whole life just a lie?
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

Experimental
Music
Love

Meaningless?
You mean it's all been meaningless?
Every whisper and caress?
Yes yes yes it was totally meaningless

Meaningless
like when two fireflies flouresce
Just like everything I guess
yes yes yes
it was utterly meaningless

Even less
a little glimpse of nothingness
sucking meaning from the
rest of this mess
Yes yes yes it was thoroughly meaningless

and if some dim bulb should say
we were in love in some way
kick all his teeth in for me
and if you feel like keeping on kicking
feel free

Meaningless
Who dare say it wasn't meaningless?
Shout from the rooftops
and address the press
Ha ha ha it was totally meaningless

Meaningless
Meaning less than a game of chess
Just like your mother said
and mother knows best
I knew it all the time but now I confess

Yes yes yes how deliciously meaningless
Yes yes yes how effervescently meaningless
Yes yes yes how beautifully meaningless
Yes yes yes how profoundly meaningless
Yes yes yes how definatively meaningless
Yes yes yes how comprehensively meaningless
Yes yes yes how magnificently meaningless
Yes yes yes how incredibly meaningless
Yes yes yes how unprecedentedly meaningless
Yes yes yes how mind-blowingly meaningless
Yes yes yes how unbelievably meaningless
Yes yes yes how infinitely meaningless

It makes you blind, it does you in
It makes you think you're pretty tough
It makes you prone to crime and sin
It makes you say thing off the cuff
It's very small and made of glass
and grossly over-advertised
It turns a genius into an ass
and makes a fool think he is wise
It could make you regret your birth
or turn cartwheels in your best suit
It costs a lot more than it's worth
and yet there is no substitute
They keep it on a higher shelf
the older and more pure it grows
It has no color in itself
but it can make you see rainbows
You can find it at the Bowery
or you can find it at Elaine's
It makes your words more flowery
It makes the sun shine, makes it rain
You just get what they put in
and they never put in enough
Love is like a bottle of gin
but a bottle of gin is not like love

The moon was singing the blues
The stars in the sky harmonized
singing it too
and I, far below
was singing low and slow
for you
and I know
all the world was singing the blues
The Queen was singing the blues
The President played the saxophone
sounded so along
it was on the news
And from Ursa Minor
in what looked like an all-night diner
came lonely luminous creatures
whose only human feature
was singing the blues
soft and low
The blues was singing the blues
The dead in their graves
and the gods in their caves,
they'd been waiting so long
to sing the blue song
about you

you wanna know if we fell in love too fast
you wanna know if this is well too good to last
you're asking the wrong questions
you're opening the wrong doors
i love you, i can't touch you anymore

i can't touch you anymore, there's so much to hate you for
i love you, i can't touch you anymore

you wanna tell me 50 ways you've left your lovers
you wanna tell me how you've loved 200 others
you're asking the wrong questions
you're opening the wrong doors
i love you, i can't touch you anymore

i can't touch you anymore, there's so much to hate you for
i love you, i can't touch you anymore

There are two kinds of people:
a) my love and I
b) other
two kinds of people:
1) the gray
and 2) me and my lover
All people fall into two camps
that ever twain shall be:
those lost in darkness without lamps,
and then,
my love and me...

The only thing that I could ever feel
I can't believe it wasn't real
The only thing that I could ever feel
I can't believe it wasn't real
You can't open your mouth
without telling a lie
but baby, you know how to say goodbye
The thing I spent my whole life
waiting for
has just walked out and locked the door
The thing I spent my whole life
waiting for
has just walked out and locked the door
You can't feel a thing
and you won't even try
but baby, you know how to say goodbye
I'm overjoyed to hear about your wedding
I'm writing you to wish you
every blessing
I'm overjoyed to hear about your wedding
I'm writing you to wish you
every blessing
and I'm so happy I could cry
Oh baby you know how to say goodbye

Before you left your garrison
you'd had a drink, maybe two
You don't remember Paris, hon
but it remembers you
It's true, we flew to Paris, dear
aboard an Army jet
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget
You said I was terrific, it
meant zilch to you, ah, but I
have our marriage certificate
'n I'll keep it till I die
You were an Army officer
and I just a Rockette
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget
No rose conveyed your sentiments
not even a petunia
but you've got vague presentiments
and I've got little Junior
You said, Nobody loves me
and I said, wanna bet?
the night you can't remember
the night I can't forget

Should time allow us to describe our prowess
it would be quite hard to overrate,
for we are the king of the boudoir old thing and the king doesn't like to wait.
One tryst with me and you'll be spinning like a gyroscope.
One tryst with me and you'll be Pope.
Should modesty allow us to describe our prowesslessnesslessness
'twould be hard to overstate,
for we are the king of the boudoir it's true and the king doesn't like to wait.
One kiss from me and you'll be overjoyed and overawed.
One kiss from me and you'll see God.
For we are the king of the boudoir we are and the king doesn't like to wait.

Strange eyes, blue clocks without hands
two lives lived in distant lands
little blue mysteries
what did they see in me
Strange eyes, early Picassos
call me even when you don't
if only from pictures
it having been three years
The follow me in all my dreams
Oh God I'm still in love with you
Strange eyes, to little star charts
plunges knives into my poor heart
As lovely as a tree they endlessly recede
Strange eyes, two little whirlpools
made by God to destroy fools
two pearls of inf'nite cost
two paradises lost
They swallow me in all my dreams
Oh God I'm still in love with you

To my dear,dear mother
I leave myonly shoes
To my dear, dear mother
I leave my only shoes
By the time you read this
I will have died of the blues
Scream little choo-choo
Bang your xylophone track
You can wail all night long
but you can't bring her back
I've done so much crying
the flesh has left my bones
I've done so much crying
the flesh has left my bones
I can play my ribcage
like a xylophone

So we got married in Venice in June
So what?
We circled the Earth in a hot air balloon
So what?
and the rest of our lives
is one long honeymoon
well, that doesn't mean we're in love
If you really loved me
you'd buy me a beautiful pearl
but you've already bought me
all of the pearls in the world
so there's one thing I crave
when my days become ho-hum and blah
I want a zebra
We've got so many tchotchkes
we've practically emptied the Louvre
In most of our palaces
there's hardly room to manoeuvre
I shan't go to Balie today
I must stay home and Hoovre
up the gold dust
That doesn't mean we're in love
If you really loved me
you'd buy me the Great Pyramid
Oh, I'm so forgetful, you already did
But there's one think I need
if you won't think I'm greedy, my death
another zebra
Zelda looks lonely, I want a zebra

Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True, I'm in love with you, but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutely cuckoo
Then when you see your error
Then you can flee in terror
Like everybody else does
I only tell you this 'cause
I'm easy to get rid of
But not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
And if you make a mistake
My heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
And all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True, I'm in love with you, but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutely cuckoo
Then when you see your error
Then you can flee in terror
Like everybody else does
I only tell you this 'cause
I'm easy to get rid of
But not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
And if you make a mistake
My heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
And all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

I die when you walk by
So beautiful and strong
Each day you pass my way
In your bubble where nothing goes wrong
You think your youth
A perminent truth
But here is a tear for your eye:
Having forgotten how to cry
I die.

So you quote love unquote me
Well, stranger things have come to be
But let's agree to disagree
Cause I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You tell me I'm not not cute
Its truth or falsity is moot
Cause honesty's not your strong suit
And I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You tell me of what once was
And all about Buck, Butch, and Buzz
How they were not like me because...
But I don't believe you
I don't believe you

I had a dream and you were in it
The blue of your eyes was infinite
You seemed to be
In love with me
Which isn't very realistic

You may sing me "They Were You"
And I start crying halfway through
But nothing else you say is true
So I don't believe you
I don't believe you

You may set your charm on stun
And say I'm delightful and fun
But you say that to everyone
Well, I don't believe you
I don't believe you

So you're brilliant gorgeous and
Ampersand after ampersand
You think I just don't understand
But I don't believe you
I don't believe you
I don't believe you
I don't believe you

True, I'd give my right arm
To keep you safe from harm
And true, for you, I'd move to Ecuador
And I'd keep a little farm
Chop wood to keep you warm
But I don't really love you anymore

I don't have to love you now if I don't wish to
I won't see you anyhow if that's an issue
Because I am a gentleman
Think of me as just your fan
Who remembers every dress you ever wore.
Just the bad comedian
Your new boyfriend's better than
'Cos I don't really love you anymore.

There'll be someday when your eyes do not enthrall me,
I'll be numb but realize you'll never call me.

'Cos I've read your horoscope
And now I've given up all hope
So I don't really love you anymore
'Cos I've read your horoscope
And now I've given up all hope
So I don't really love you anymore.

I wandered in these big blue shoes
Till we had nothin' left to lose
Nobody wants you when you're a circus clown
I should know, I looked all over town

I guess folks just don't like my face
They make out like I'm some disgrace
But nothin's gonna change this painted frown
I know, know, I looked all over town

Maybe somewhere I could be free
Somewhere they won't throw rocks at me
Somewhere this crazy hair could be my crown
But all my life, I've looked all over town

So whistling this circus tune
I inflated one more balloon
And as I floated up, I looked straight down
And I looked all over town
One last time, I looked all over town

You told me you loved me
I know where and when
Come sunrise, surprise
Surprise, the joke's on me again

I know you don't love me
You know I don't care
Keep it hidden better
Did I say the world is fair

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I just hope you're happy
Stringing me along
While you're stringing
I'm here singing this, my saddest song

I wish I could see you
I wish I could sleep
Should I freak out?
Should I seek out
Someone I could keep?

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I wanted you tonight
I walked around a lot
Wishing you were here
To keep me from sleeping

With anyone who might
Want me or even not
Some guys have a beer
And they'll do anything
Anything, anything

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

I was born, I hate this part
Being someone new
Being torn
Seeing someone who died, as you grew
Growing older is killing a child
Who laughed and smiled at anything
Growing colder and less and less wild
And learning to say

I was young, then not so young
Scary either way
One more rung
Down that black ladder every day
One more floor down the elevator
To oblivion, what fun
But the singularly awful one
Is being born

I wish, I had an evil twin
Running 'round doing people in
I wish I had a very bad
And evil twin to do my will

To cull and conquer, cut and kill
Just like I would
If I weren't good
And if I knew where to begin

Down and down we go
How low no one would know
Sometimes the good life wears thin
I wish I had an evil twin

My evil twin would lie and steal
And he would stink of sex appeal
All men would writhe, beneath his scythe
He'd send the pretty ones to me

And they would think that I was he
I'd hurt them and I'd go scot free
I'd get no blame and feel no shame
'Cause evil's not my cup of tea

Down and down we go
How low one would not need to know
All my life there should have been
An evil twin

Now the clock is striking one
So we might as well begin it,
As there's dancing to be done
And our time is not infinite.

If there's such a thing as love,
If there's such a thing as love,
I'm in it.

So you claim you love me too,
Lloyd's of London guarantee it.
Gaze into these eyes of blue,
You do love me I decree it.

If there's such a thing as love,
If there's such a thing as love,
Give me it.

When i was two and a half,
My momma said to me:
"Love is funny you will laugh
'Til the day you turn three."

Like a kitten up a tree
Needs a fireman to rescue it,
So your fireman i will be
And i'll really get into it.

If there's such a thing as love,
(such a thing as love)
If there's such a thing as love,
Let's do it.

I thought i'd known love before
That was not it but I thought it
So I thought i'd win the war
Or I never would have fought it

If there's such a thing as love,
(such a thing as love)
If there's such a thing as love,
I've caught it.
if there's such a thing as love,
(such a thing as love)
if there's such a thing as love,
I've caught it.
If there's such a thing as love,
(such a thing as love)
If there's such a thing as love,
Love caught it.

I'm tongue tied and useless
I'm weak-kneed and brainless
and then
I mumble some jumble
you kiss me
I'm history
I'm tongue-tied and useless again

my heart pounds
I make sounds
my ears hum

my head pops
the shoe drops
I'm struck dumb

I'm tongue-tied and uselss
I'm weak-kneed and brainless
and then
I mumble some jumble
you kiss me
I'm history
I'm tongue-tied
and uselss again

you say things
the room swings
I feel faint

I've no doubt
I'll black out
grand, love aint

I don't die
I say "hi"
how clever

I turn blue
I love you
forever

I'm tongue-tied and useless
I'm weak-kneed and brainless
and then
I mumble some jumble
you kiss me
I'm history
I'm tongue-tied
and useless again
I'm tongue-tied
and uselss again

Sing me the kind of song you hear in an operetta
In an operetta
Sing me the words I long to hear out of Violetta
In an operetta

She will fast be outcast from her castle with nary a friend
But since she's a princess, there's hints of a prince in the end
She'll enjoy some employ as a boy with her name changed to Pip
Soon by gum she'll become the brave captain of some pirate ship

Singing a thing fit for a King in an operetta
In an operetta
It's the all singing all dancing, Princess Violetta of the operetta
In an operetta, within an operetta

It was infinitely late at night
The stars are still out there
But they're all out of light
Don't worry about me, I'll be alright
It's just infinitely late at night

It's still getting later
And later and later
I feel like I'm in a falling elevator
I call for a drink
But I can't find the waiter
I really believe he's gone home
Oh God! I wish I could go home
But it's infinitely late at night

Is this a blackout
Or am I losing my sight?
It should have been noon now
The sun should be bright
But it's infinitely

The hour on the bar clock
It isn't finite
It's all black and white
Without the white
It's just infinitely late at night

Irma waits by the window
Vaguely looking down at her socks
And humming, possibly her
Father will come home with a box

Of chocolates, possibly
Not father's memory
Was never what it once was
Shouldn't really drive anymore
Either as if in answer
With a sound like blowing up your

Ears, father's jeep crashes
Through Irma's wall she says
Bad words as several hundred
Boxes of her favorite kind
Of chocolate fill her bedroom
But she doesn't actually mind

Feels like December but it's May
I've gone as pale as Doris Day
The blue sky's torn assunder
by clouds that warn of thunder
Is this what they used to call love?

Your face surrounds me everywhere
like a kaleidoscope's nightmare
This outpouring of emotion
is boring as an ocean
Is this what they used to call love?

Well it musn't be
the chicken pox
I've never met a chicken
but whenever I
get near you dear
my heart starts to sicken

In the 9th circle of this hell
my heart is burning and unwell
what demons like within it
I'll die in one more minute
Is this what they used to call love?
Is this what they used to call love?

Why would I stop loving you
a hundred years from now?
It's only time.
It's only time.

What could stop this beating heart
once it's made a vow?
It's only time.
It's only time.

If rain won't change your mind,
let it fall.
The rain won't change my heart
at all.

Lock this chain
around my hand,
throw away the key.
It's only time.
It's only time.

Years falling
like grains of sand
mean nothing to me.
It's only time.
It's only time.

If snow won't change your mind
let it fall.
The snow won't change my heart,
not at all.

(I'll walk your lands)
I'll walk your lands
(And swim your sea)
And swim your sea

Marry me.
Marry me.

(Then in your hands)
Then in your hands
(I will be free)
I will be free

Marry me.
Marry me.

Why would I stop loving you
a hundred years from now?

You told me you loved me
I know where and when
Come sunrise, surprise
Surprise, the joke's on me again

I know you don't love me
You know I don't care
Keep it hidden better
Did I say the world is fair

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I just hope you're happy
Stringing me along
While you're stringing
I'm here singing this, my saddest song

I wish I could see you
I wish I could sleep
Should I freak out?
Should I seek out
Someone I could keep?

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I wanted you tonight
I walked around a lot
Wishing you were here
To keep me from sleeping

With anyone who might
Want me or even not
Some guys have a beer
And they'll do anything
Anything, anything

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

You told me you loved me
I know where and when
Come sunrise, surprise
Surprise, the joke's on me again

I know you don't love me
You know I don't care
Keep it hidden better
Did I say the world is fair

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I just hope you're happy
Stringing me along
While you're stringing
I'm here singing this, my saddest song

I wish I could see you
I wish I could sleep
Should I freak out?
Should I seek out
Someone I could keep?

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I wanted you tonight
I walked around a lot
Wishing you were here
To keep me from sleeping

With anyone who might
Want me or even not
Some guys have a beer
And they'll do anything
Anything, anything

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

You told me you loved me
I know where and when
Come sunrise, surprise
Surprise, the joke's on me again

I know you don't love me
You know I don't care
Keep it hidden better
Did I say the world is fair

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I just hope you're happy
Stringing me along
While you're stringing
I'm here singing this, my saddest song

I wish I could see you
I wish I could sleep
Should I freak out?
Should I seek out
Someone I could keep?

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
I thought you were my boyfriend

I wanted you tonight
I walked around a lot
Wishing you were here
To keep me from sleeping

With anyone who might
Want me or even not
Some guys have a beer
And they'll do anything
Anything, anything

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not, I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

I thought I was just the guy for you
And it would never end
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought we were supposed to be like glue
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Love or not I've always got ten guys
On whom I can depend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
And if you're not mine, one less is nine, get wise
I thought you were my boyfriend
(Thought you were my boyfriend)
I thought you were my boyfriend

Three-Way!
Three-Way!
Three-Way!

See them on their big bright screen
Tan and blonde and seventeen
Eating nonfood keeps them mean
But they're young forever

If they must grow up
They marry dukes and earls
I hate California girls

They ain't broke, so they put on airs
The faux folk sans derrieres
They breathe coke and they have affairs
With each passing rock star

They come on like squares
Then get off like squirrels
I hate California girls

Looking down their perfect noses
At me and my kind
Do they think we won't?
Well, never mind

Laughing through their perfect teeth
At everyone I know
Do they think we won't
Get up and go? So

I have planned my grand attacks
I will stand behind their backs
With my brand-new battle ax
Then will they taste my wrath

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls
"I hate California girls"

They will hear me say
As the pavement whirls

Old fools, dancing
Old fools who believe
That they can dance and sing
And fall in love
After all, love

Old wines, old shoes
Old lines who would've thought
They would ever reuse
Like I, love you
Surprise I, love you

Flowers, long drive
Old fools, new lives

Old fools, dancing
Old rules take the
Backseat to new romancing
Long drives, flowers
Old fools, new lives

Xavier says, "Ha, ha, ha
We have nothing in common
See you round ta-ta
Slink back to your abominable lover
Zsa-Zsa, before I blow your cover
Tra-lala"

Zsa-Zsa's scene, tacky queen
You think there's no one but you
Get your crass little ass
Out and don't make me cut you
With how much you talk you'd think
That someone else was listening
Want a drink, Miss Thing?

"Slow gin fizz', says Xavier
Zsa-Zsa orders and drinks come
"Here it is, teddy bear
To your health, you rat fink scum"
Xavier wheezes, "I forgot"
Before each line he sneezes quite a lot

I walk alone around the town
I used to walk with you
I watch the lonely snow come down
down Seventh Avenue
Now dreadful decorations deck the air
and mistletoe is hanging everywhere
but you no longer care

Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
hanging above
please go away
I've got no one to love
Oh Mr. Mistletoe
wither and die
you useless weed
for no one have I
Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
how very rude
Couldn't you tell
I'm not in the mood?
Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
go find your tree
Didn't you know?
There's no Christmas for me

Oh, Mr. Mistletoe
go find your tree
Didn't you know?
There's no Christmas for me

Please stop dancing in my head
I have cried till I'm half dead
Please stop dancing in my head

Please stop dancing in my mind
I have cried till I'm half blind
Please stop dancing in my mind

Please stop dancing in my heart
I can't seem to make it art
Please stop dancing in my heart

Please stop dancing in my soul
I can't make it rock 'n' roll
Please stop dancing in my soul

Please stop dancing in my sleep
I can't make it twang and beep
Please stop dancing in my sleep

Please stop dancing in my eyes
I can't make it pretty lies
Please stop dancing in my eyes

Please stop dancing in my blood
Ill wind blowing no one good
Please stop dancing in my blood

Please stop dancing in my life
I will never be your wife
Please stop dancing in my life

Drive on, driver
There's no one home
We've waited hours
She didn't come

It's such a pretty little ring
But it doesn't mean anything
Drive on

Drive on, driver
And don't you cry
I gave her everything
Money could buy

I always said that girl
Deserved the whole wide world
Drive on

And take me to the airport
I need to be extremely far away
So I can forget about her
I might forget about her someday

Drive on, Randy
It's all gone wrong
Have some brandy
Sing me a song

Something soft and low
Can we please just go?
Drive on

Something soft and low
Can we please just go?
Drive on

Sober, life is a prison
Shit faced, it is a blessing
Sober, nobody wants you
Shit faced, they're all undressing

Oh, sober, it's ever darker
Shit faced, the moon is nearer
Sober, you're old and ugly
Shit faced, who needs a mirror?

Oh, sober, you're a cromagnon
Shit faced, you're very clever
Sober, you never should be
Shit faced, now and forever

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap

I know you think I'm insane
I know it's not appealing
But till I'm feeling no pain
Guess what I'll be feeling?

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too fried to cry
Or I'll be crying all night long
I gotta get too high to sigh
Oh, my God, where did I go wrong?

So why do I get plastered?
And why am I so lonely?
It's you, you heartless bastard
You're my one and only

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap
And God knows that ain't cheap

Through sleet and snow and storm and hail
Through every degradation and betrayal
Past rhyme and reason and beyond the pale
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

Through time and tomb and Tim and Tom
Through pro and con and quid pro quo and qualm
Through tidal wave and asteroid and bomb
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

And when your charms begin to fade
And when you feel old and afraid
I'll scratch beneath your shoulder blade and whisper
My love is deeper than I show

Remember what I said through sleet and snow
So even though I know you have to go
Darling, I will love you till the bitter end
And all the bitter moments till then

Long
and lonely nights,
I've waited for you
to put things to rights.
Leaving you to do
your thing without
disturbance from me.
Somehow I doubt
you'll ever be
back.
I'll keep your things:
if you ever need them,
the phone still rings.
And now that you're free
of me at last,
your time is your own:
go have a blast
and I'll dream alone
without you;
I'll dream alone
if I must;
because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust.
So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz.
I'll dream alone from the end,
and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been:
if only I'd known.
I'll dream alone.

Dreams we had a few
But what kind of dream
beats you black and blue?
I wanted to scream, "don't go away",
but nothing came out;
all I could say was:

I'll dream alone
without you;
I'll dream alone
if I must;
because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust.
So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz.
I'll dream alone from the end,
and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been:
if only I'd known.
I'll dream alone.

I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to.
I'd meet people with lots of money,
and men would love me like I loved you.

I want to be a topless waitress,
I want my mother to shed one tear.
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
slip into something a tad more shear.

I want to be an artist's model
An odalisque au naturel
I should be good at spin the bottle
While I've still got something left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer
With little willie between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
But I'll meet plenty of single guys.

I'd like to be a brothel worker,
I've always been treated like one.
If I could be a backstreet lover,
I'd make more money and have more fun.

I want to be a dominatrix
which isn't like me, but I can dream.
Learn S&M and all those gay tricks
and men will pay me to make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet
For that I'll wait till mom is dead
I'd see my name in lights of scarlet
And get to spend everyday in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady,
Dedicated as I am to art.
Characters bold, complex, and shady
Will write my memoirs across my heart