The Dubliners

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before

I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Clouds are drifting across the moon
Cats are prowling on their beat
Spring's a girl from the streets at night
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I heard a siren from the docks
Saw a train set the night on fire
Smelled the spring on the smoky wind
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I'm going to make me a good sharp axe
Shining steel tempered in the fire
I'll chop you down like an old dead tree
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town

As I rode down to Galway town to seek for recreation
On the seventeenth of August me mind being elevated
There were multitudes assembled with their tickets at the station
Me eyes began to dazzle and I'm goin' to see the races.

Chorus: With your whack-fa-the-da-for-the-diddle-ee-iddle-day.

There were passengers from Limerick and passengers from Nenagh
And passengers from Dublin and sportsmen from Tipperary
There were passengers from Kerry, and all quarters of our nation
And our member, Mr. Hearst, for to join the Galway Blazers.

There were multitudes from Aran, and members from New Quay Shore
Boys from Connemara and the Claire unmarried maidens
There were people from Cork city who were loyal, true and faithful;
Who brought home the Fenian prisoners from diverse foreign nations.

It's there you'll see confectioners with sugarsticks and dainties
The lozenges and oranges, the lemonade and raisins!
The gingerbread and spices to accomodate the ladies
And a big crubeen for thruppence to be pickin' while you're able.

It's there you'll see the gamblers, the thimbles and the garters
And the spotting Wheel of Fortune with the four and twenty quarters
There was others without scruple pelting wattles at poor Maggy
And her father well-contented and he lookin' at his daughter.

It's there you'll see the pipers and the fiddlers competing
The nimble footed dancers a-tripping over the daisies
There were others crying cigars and lights and bills for all the races
With the colors of the jockeys and the prize and horses' ages.

It's there you'll see the jockeys and they're mounted out so stately
The pink, the blue, the orange, and green, the emblem of our nation
When the bell was rung for starting, all the horses seemed impatient
I thought they never stood on ground their speed was so amazing.

There was half a million people there from all denominations
The Catholic, the Protestant, the Jew, and Presbyterian
There was yet no animosity, no matter what persuasion
But "failte" and hospitality inducin' fresh acquaintance.

There's ne'er a nicht I'm gane to ramble, there's ne'er a nicht I'm gane to roam
There's ne'er a nicht I'm gane to ramble, intae the erms of me ain true love

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

Though the nicht be as dark as dungeon, not a star can be seen above
I will be guided without a stumble, intae the erms of my ane true love

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

He stepped up tae her bedroom winday, kneeling gently upon a staine
He whispers through her bedroom winday, my darling dear do you lie alaine

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

She raised her head from her down soft pillow, wi' her erms around her breasts
Says: ”Why is that that my bedroom winday is 'sterbing me at my long nicht's rest?”

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

Says I: ”My love it's I thy true lover, open the door and let me in
For I have come on a long nights journey more than near drenched to my skin”

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

She opened the door wi' the greatest pleasure, she opened the door and she let him in
They both shook hands and embraced each other, until the morning they lay as one

I'm a rover, seldom sober, I'm a rover of high degree
It's when I'm drinkin' I'm always thinkin' how to gain my love's company

Says I: My love I must go and leave you, to climb the hills they are far above
But I will climb wi' the greatest pleasure, since I've been in the arms of my love

I'm a freeborn man of the travelling people
got no fixed abode with nomads I am numbered
country lanes and bye ways were always my ways
I never fancied being lumbered

Well we knew the woods and all the resting places
the small birds sang when winter time was over
then we'd pack our load and be on the road
they were good old times for the rover

In the open ground where a man could linger
stay a week or two for time was not your master
then away you'd jog with your horse and dog
nice and easy no need to go faster

And sometimes you'd meet up with other travellers
hear the news or else swop family information
at the country fairs we'd be meeting there
all the people of the travelling nation

I've made willow creels and the heather besoms
And I've even done some begging and some hawkin'
and I've lain there spent rapped up in my tent
and I've listened to the old folks talking

All you freeborn men of the travelling people
every tinker rolling stone and gypsy rover
winds of change are blowing old ways are going
your travelling days will soon be over

In a neat little town they called Belfast
Apprentice to trade I was bound
And many an hour sweet happiness
Have I spent in that neat little town
As sad misfortune came over me
Which caused me to stray from the land
Far away from me friends and relations
Betrayed by the black velvet band

Her eyes they shown like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

I took a stroll down broadway
Meaning not long for to stay
When who should I meet but this pretty fair maid
Come a-traipsing along the highway
She was both fair and handsome
Her neck, it was just like a swan
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

Her eyes they shown like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

I took a stroll with this pretty fair maid
And a gentleman passing us by
Well, I knew she meant the doing of him
By the look in her roguish black eye
A gold watch she took from his pocket
And placed it right into my hand
And the very first thing that I said, was
Bad 'cess to the black velvet band

Her eyes they shown like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

Before the judge and the jury
Next morning, I had to appear
The judge, he says to me:
"Young man, you're case it is proven clear
We'll give you seven years penal servitude
To be spent far away from the land
Far away from your friends and relations
Betrayed by the black velvet band"

Her eyes they shown like diamonds
I thought her the queen of the land
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

So come all you jolly young fellows
A warning take by me
When you are out on the town, me lads
Beware of the pretty colleens
They'll feed you with strong drink, me lads
'Till you are unable to stand
And the very first thing that you'll know is
You've landed in Van Diemens Land

Her eyes they shown like diamonds
Her neck, it was just like a swan
And her hair, it hung over her shoulder
Tied up with a black velvet band

Chorus:
Well it's lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the camp fire at night,
Where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothin' so lonesome
morbid or drear,
than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer.

Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
and there's a far away look on the face of the bum
the maids got all cranky and
and the cooks acting queer
what a terrible place, is a pub with no beer.

Then the stockman rides up with his dry dusty throat
He presses up to the bar and pulls a wad from his coat.
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a snear
As the barman says sadly,
"The pubs got no beer."

Then the swaggy comes in smoothered in dust and flies
He throws down his roll and rubs the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told he says "what's this I hear"
I've trudged fifty flamin' miles
To a pub with no beer

Now there's a dog on the veranda for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinkin' wine with his mates.
He hurries for cover and he cringes with fear
It's no place for a dog,
Round a pub with no beer.

And old Billie the Blacksmith, the first time in his life
Why he's gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen she says your early Bill dear
But then he breaks down and he tells her
The pub's got no beer.

Well its hard to believe that there's customers still
But the money's still tinkling in the old ancient til
The wine dots are happy and I know they're sincere
When they say they don't care if the pubs got no beer

So it's a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the camp fire at night,
Where the wild dingos call.
But there's nothin' so lonesome
morbid or drear,
than to stand in the bar of that pub with no beer.