Arab Strap

I wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie.
It's in my mouth and under my nails.
I wish I'd woken up in someone elses bed.
Wish I was the wind in someone elses sails.

I've no-one in particular in mind right now.
It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack.
I should have known you'd want to try again.
But I'm looking forward now
I'm not stepping back.



My last lover's playing with a new man now.
It's only three weeks we've been apart.
They sat together and he sent her flowers.
Well he can f**king keep that fickle disco tart.

'cause I've had it up to here with little girls.
She looked ugly today day, smoking her fag.
Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.

I was free again that summer
cos you're playing with a plumber,
with his own place and a car. I don't care,
I'm gonna be a pop star.
Well he can take you for a ride
and he can buy you gifts and flowers.
I'm sure he's got a nicer body then me
and maybe he can fuck go for hours and hours.
But I wonder where you and him might be when you see me on the cover of the NME.
After sell-out tours and a string of hits And I'm snorting cocaine off a supermodel's tits.
My life is going my way.
I saw you in the pub today.
And you look so ugly now.
Since you turned into a shallow disco cow.
You're no longer my gilded shackle.
So I don't have to listen to your fucking cackle.
I couldn't give a toss what you do.
And by the way, have you found out I was two-timing you?

We were lying in bed, staring at the moon, and I was wondering if I was supposed to be in love.
But we couldn't quite decide if the moon was full, but I thought, well, tonight it's full enough.


And this morning I was casually trying to sniff my fingers on the way back home.
I could smell you and I felt like a little boy.
Now we've been on these open seas far too long so take a breath, take my hand, there's land ahoy.

It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best shag I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.


I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd f**k anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

i must have been missing the point for years. i used to love misery, heartbreak, and tears. but that's just a memory now you're sleeping here. and what's yours is mine. i wasted so long keeping hollow hearts dear. panicking, drinking when they disappear. and i'm not a prophet, no, i'm not a saint. but i think we'll be fine. but first we should set the scene with some songs that deafly describe the rights and the wrongs that led me to you and my unladen steer. it takes a few minutes but it's worth the wait.

Have a look in the fridge
and see what he's got.

Get in the bath
and I'll tell you the lot.

We're grown men, we should be respectable.
But to fuck with that, let's make a spectacle.

Keep climbing,
you'll see everything.

Twice round the block,
it's OK; say anything.

We hide in toilets,
we hide in a corner.

But it's not over yet,
so someone please warn her.

I could try anything when I feel like this.
With part-time friends that I could never miss.

Spill the gossip, you know it's always topical.
From where we sit tonight the city's tropical.

Works begun,
the taxi's late.

I should feel like a hippie
but all I feel is hate.

Let them say what they want, they could never make it stick.
'Cause everyone takes a turn at being a dick.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

So that was the first big weekend of the summer...
Starts thursday as usual with the canteen quiz and again no-one wins the big cash prize.
Later I do my sound bloke routine by approaching gina's new boyfriend to say that he shouldn't feel that there's any animosity between us and then I even go and make peace with her shouldn't hav
Hered.

Then on friday night we went through to the arches...

There was only one car going so some of us had to get the train. we got through quite late. then we went to a pub to take the gear.
There was no problems getting in - we saw some others waiting down the front of the queue so we skipped in.
It was a good night - everyone was nutted and I ended up dancing with some blonde girl.
I thought she had been quite pretty until last night when matthew informed me that she had, in fact, been a pig.

When the club finished we wandered the streets for a while until we got to this 24-hour cafe.
I didn't like the look of it so we left and got a taxi back to morag's flat.
I couldn't sleep so I sat about drinking someone else's strawberry tonic wine and tried to keep everyone else up.

Then at ten o'clock in the morning we went downstairs to buy some drink. we had intended to watch the football in the afternoon but we'd passed out by then and slept right through it, awaking to
That england had won two-nil.
Then we went to get the train home and had a few in the station bar.
We had some stuff left from the previous night's supplies so when we got home we decided to go down to john's indie disco.
Same story as friday - lots of hugging, lots of dancing etc. etc.
I couldn't sleep again so went to the park to look at the toon, taking a detour through the playpark.
To get in we had to climb over a ten foot steel fence, which resulted in severe bruising of our hands, legs and groins, but we had a good laugh on the stuff, especially the tube-slide, which pro


Doubles up as a urinal for drunk teens.
Then we walked through the woods to have a look at the toon. big disappointment, but the mist on the lake was cool.

Sunday afternoon we go up to john's with a lot of beer in time to watch the simpsons - it was a really good episode about love always ending in tragedy except, of course, for marge and homer. it
Quite moving at the end and to tell you the truth my eyes were a bit damp.

Then we watched these young girls in swimsuits have a water fight in the street.
We went up to the pub about ten.
It was busy for a sunday night, lots of people we know, including my first ever girlfriend who I still find very attractive, quite frankly, but I didn't really speak to her
She's probably still a bitch, anyway.
Her friend gillian was there, I had a chat with her, she was still quite pleasant.
At the same time I watched malcolm make some terrible attempt to try and chat up a girl we know called jo. he made some remark about her skirt that was barely there the previous night or somethi
R>
I couldn't sleep again that night, thanks to some seriously disturbing nightmares...matthew says I should cut down on the cheese.

"went out for the weekend, it lasted for ever, high with our friends it's officially summer."

I got some sleep eventually on monday afternoon.
It was a beautiful day, and later that evening malcolm introduced me to the power of merrydown - ³1.79 a litre, 8.2% - mmmm.....
Judith and laura came round later and we sat in my back garden and drank.
Then matthew came round and we went up the town.
It's officially summer.

Another bloated disco,
Another sniff of romance I'll forget
We promised to ourselves before we came out
We'd do something we regret

These people are your friends
This cunted circus never ends
I won't remember anything you say

I lost my social skills a while ago
But now I feel them coming back
My eyes were rolling when we met
And now they are preparing for attack

I want to fall in love tonight
And form the perfect unbreakable bond
You can be my teenage Jenny Agutter
Swimming naked in a pond

You know i'm always moanin'
But you jumpstart my seratonin
But how d'you know you've ever really loved?

But when I feel like this, I know it doesn't matter
When I eat when I'm not hungy I'm sure I feel my face get fatter
Then I thin out every weekend and I think that she might want me
But I always slip off my own 'cause...

I let those feelings haunt me, they control me,
But tonight I'm letting go
You're more then just a photo album,
You're more than what some people let you know

And if we ever make it home,
I'll tell you all the things that shaped me thus;
Something forged in a phonebox but lost in a restaurant
We've got so much to discuss

Here, have you tried the blue ones?
I hear he's got some new ones
Sleep is not an option tonight

Look at us just stand and stare
Look at them just pose and pout
And we'll all be standing here
Until the pigs chuck us out

Not everything must end
Not every romance must descend
Not every lover's pact decays
Not every sad mistake replays

If you can love my growing gut
My rotten teeth and greying hair
Then I can guarantee I'll do
The same as long as you can bear

If you love my little poofy hands
My skinny arms and reeking feet
The way I dance, the way I eat
If you love the morning spots I try
And squeeze before you're up to see
Each torn ankle, each weak knee

But still my moods must swing
To solitude I must still cling
And you won't love me every day
And suffer many a display

But plates may smash and doors may slam
My comments may be less than kind
But that won't mean I've changed my mind
I'm a huffy prick the best of times

I love to sulf and shout and squeal
But please don't doubt the way I feel
Cause when the Sun burns up the earth
Our progeny will raise a can
Here's to where it all began
And every day I hear the world
Is cracking up, the end is near
I hear we all should live in fear

Bullies, burglers, paedophiles
Bird flu and passive smoke
(They're coming!)
Volcanoes, earthquakes, tidal waves
Heart disease and strokes
(They're coming!)
Terrorists with homemade poisons
And factions everywhere
(They're coming!)
They're drinking in the street
And they could steal your name
And I don't care!

Lost on Christmas Eve eve,
he threw something down my neck.
I didn't check what it was.
When he says "Trust me," I never need to check.
Then he helped me up,
and the next thing I know we were lying naked and it had started to snow.
So I was late for work - Hungover, dazed, and freezing.
But we still made time to demonstrate how we'll wear it, come the season.
Not a creature stirred. No mother, no mouse.
But I still tip-toed down the hall and sneaked out of the house.

You always jump and quiver
When you're coming in to land
With no runway, no guidance
No nails dug into my hand.

We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school
And see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking.
The downside of what we take.


Some weekends I feel
Like I could always be awake.

A party in a strangers house.
Have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking
And get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here
But this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us.
We might never sleep again.

On the English Riviera with the penguins and the waders.
In a chip shop on the front with the tacky seaside traders.
In a flooded cottage kitchen by the fire that you built.
In a B & B in Peebles, underneath a rented kilt.
In Barnardo's, Cancer Research, in Shelter and Oxfam.
In a quiet pub in Skipton, on a rusty Blackpool tram.
The Pleasure Beach and Coral Island, at the end of the North Pier.
On the moors with the wild ponies and the sheep shit and the deer.

In a corner of the Sub Club.
On the Art School's old dance floor.
In the hall and in the bath, just outside the downstairs door.
On a hillside in the Trossachs,
on the busy NY streets, in a hotel by a park, it's written in the sheets.

In the sand at Ilfracombe,
halfway up the A82,
the tallest cinema in Europe,
standing sighing in the queue.
The all-night garages of Glasgow,
the freezing streets of Aberdeen,
in every corner, every room and every bed we've ever been.

That's where we've left our love.

If we're having so much fun, how come I'm crying every Monday?
Is it just to cancel out the laughter from Thursday 'til Sunday?
I spend the next two days in my bed and I wonder what it's all about,
and as soon as I start to feel okay I know it's time to go back out.

I've had the same look on my face for the last two lonely years.
Twenty-four months of bargain pills, cheeky lines and stolen beers.
In all the pictures that I've got, my eyes are so black and wide,
and you don't have to look long enough you'll see there's not much life inside.

A new home to hang my heart is what I thought I'd never find but fate, as always, intervened.
And now I've got a girl in mind, and I'm meeting her next week when we get back home to Glasgow.
That's if we even make it and don't get buried in the Dutch snow.

And if my instincts are right, I will fall in love and then we can have a laugh from time to time, but you won't see me there again.

When I get home in the morning, Trisha's hosting a debate - If you don't like the fish you're catching then you've got to change the bait.

Hurry and finish your unhealthy breakfast, then it's straight back to bed.
Did you bring something with you today to fuck away my sore head?
My first afternoon in your hands, and the loveliest yet.
Put some clothes on and leave the bath running while you're at the laundrette.

Come round and love me, sigh and rumble above me,
and we'll make the noises we make until we both laugh and both shake.

No splishing no sploshing, are you sure we'll fit in?
Then it's straight back to bed again with our soft and clean skin,
and I kiss the cut on your lip, a souvenir from last night,
a wound from our over-excitement, are you sure it's alright?

It's on the tips of our tongues, but who'll be the first one to say it?
I've said it too much in the past so let's just have fun and delay it.

But come round and show me, sigh and rumble below me
and we'll make the noises we make until we both laugh and both shake.

I used to be so proud of thinking I was such a liar.
In the covert world of romance, brother, I was just a try-er.
Woman was the enemy and victory the point
where I'd successfully knocked someone's heart out of joint.

And it's hilarious to think I thought by now I'd have a wife,
but I've always been so desperate to give away my life.
Then I just get lazy, I've got everything assumed.
Sometimes there's nothing sexier than knowing that you're doomed.

And I bet you got a fright
when you took that girl to bed,
it was only your first night
when she grabbed your head and said,

"Look at me, hey, look at me,
you don't love me, I can see.
You just want me for some fun,
I might as well be anyone".

I hope you'll reap the benefits of our ten years apart.
When I tell you not give a fuck, don't take it to heart
- try and be a gentleman and always tell the truth
- I'm not just a hypocrite, I'm jealous of your youth.

And I can't give you a lecture on how to be a man.
I've not much advice to offer, no solid foolproof plan.
Even though I was so certain that it's just a bit of fun
I soon got sick of micro-waving low-fat meals for one.

So when you ignore her call
and you just delete her text,
it might make you feel tall
as you make room for the next.

But look at me, hey, look at me,
you know I love you, obviously,
and I don't want to spoil your fun,
but you don't have to hurt someone.

You know I've felt like this before,
I know you have felt it too,
But maybe I don't want to dance,
Cos I've not had as much as you.

Our lives did not begin,
The very moment that we met.
I don't want to hold your hand,
There is so much that I'll forget.

You're no angel from above,
You're the last girl I will love.

And maybe I'm not very vocal,
Cos I've used it once before,
And the more they were repeated,
The more they were ignored.

But the ears my whispers fell on,
They weren't deaf, they were bang on,
Cause they knew I didn't mean it.
I just wanted to hang on.

But the world has changed, and how!
And I know I mean it.
So let's toast the last romance,
But just don't ask me to dance.

Give me your gibberish tonight and talk to me with your eyes shut
Make me giggle in your sleep, and I can dream that you're a slut
And when I wake up stiff, please just feel free to use me
Then go to work and let me wonder what it was that made you choose me

And now I love you more than that, and now I love you more than this
So just stay over on your side, and go to sleep and dream of piss
Tomorrow you can tell me all the things you've done with boys
Blushing as you recount tales to satisfy my see-through ploys

Cause in my nightly dramas, you are still the biggest star
So keep the window open and I can dream we are in the car
And tonight we will be leaving, we can take the scenic route
To a windfarm by the sea while I'm dreaming that you're mute

There's no better journey than me on my way to you
Sitting there all smug, knowing what we might get up to
And one day we'll be idle, and we'll both be past our peak
So until then, all we can do is master a technique
Now let's sleep..

If you take a sock off,
then I'll take a sock off.
We'll do one for one 'til we're both bare.
And with our tongues click-clicking,
the big bright clock stops ticking
as we make a right mess of your hair.

Then we'll make plans for dinner,
though my gut's got no thinner
since I've been letting you feed it.
And you're useless at drinking,
but these days I've been thinking
I doubt we're going to need it.

And if you stop bleeding
and we took to breeding,
you know our son would be a hit.
And as for our daughter,
all suitors she'd slaughter
with her brains and her beauty and her wit.

After the flirting and after the swooning,
with nerves put to bed it's all just fine tuning.
And we'll never get bored with our routine and pattern
when I'm your house-husband and you are my slattern.

But one day I might cut loose
and I just won't be much use
and so you'll push me away
- so do your best, and make me pay.

The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise and call their mucky hobby "trysts,"
but if I saw another man touch you, I'd break his fucking wrists.
Monogamy's not natural, we can't survive, that's what he'll say.
He loves to swap, he's open-minded, but don't dare suggest he's gay.

And maybe we're just lucky, maybe our connection is unique.
And if that's really just what normal people do, aren't you proud to be a freak?

The so-called Dr. Gray's a billionaire because he's got the sexes sussed.
We're a different race, we can't communicate and mind-games are a must.
But if you need a man, just buy the book and follow all "The Rules,"
there's no-one quicker to splash out than vulnerable and desperate, lonely fools.

Do you know enough to circle me a "yes"?
In just three minutes, can I suitably impress?
Why don't we ignore the whistle?
Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you all you really need to know.

And maybe we're just different.
Maybe we're nature's surprise.
So put down the book, log off and keep your wallet closed and just look me in the eyes.

Burn these sheets that we've just fucked in.
My weekend beacon, I've been sucked in.
Just one more time and then you'll get tucked in.
I think you might still be my best.

Come with me 'cause I want a thrill now.
It's okay 'cause I'm on the pill now.

We hardly spoke, we just stood around looming,
then we slipped away while the party was booming.
We've got so good now at just presuming,
why won't you let me rest?

Come with me now, no-one will miss you.
Do what you want, don't expect me to kiss you.

It's your skin and your breath and your sweat and greasy hair,
the empty cans and makeshift ashtrays everywhere.
Strangers waking up in the Monday morning stink
- of course I feel sick, but it's not why you think.

Come with me, but this is the last time,
understand you're no more than a pastime.

My sharp exit could not have been quicker,
but my excuse could have been a bit slicker.
Just be polite now and get down and lick her.
I think it's time we both get dressed.

Not everything must end
Not every romance must descend
Not every lover's pact decays
Not every sad mistake replays

If you can love my growing gut
My rotten teeth and greying hair
Then I can guarantee I'll do
The same as long as you can bear

If you love my little poofy hands
My skinny arms and reeking feet
The way I dance, the way I eat
If you love the morning spots I try
And squeeze before you're up to see
Each torn ankle, each weak knee

But still my moods must swing
To solitude I must still cling
And you won't love me every day
And suffer many a display

But plates may smash and doors may slam
My comments may be less than kind
But that won't mean I've changed my mind
I'm a huffy prick the best of times

I love to sulf and shout and squeal
But please don't doubt the way I feel
Cause when the Sun burns up the earth
Our progeny will raise a can
Here's to where it all began
And every day I hear the world
Is cracking up, the end is near
I hear we all should live in fear

Bullies, burglers, paedophiles
Bird flu and passive smoke
(They're coming!)
Volcanoes, earthquakes, tidal waves
Heart disease and strokes
(They're coming!)
Terrorists with homemade poisons
And factions everywhere
(They're coming!)
They're drinking in the street
And they could steal your name
And I don't care!

I wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie.
It's in my mouth and under my nails.
I wish I'd woken up in someone elses bed.
Wish I was the wind in someone elses sails.

I've no-one in particular in mind right now.
It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack.
I should have known you'd want to try again.
But I'm looking forward now
I'm not stepping back.



My last lover's playing with a new man now.
It's only three weeks we've been apart.
They sat together and he sent her flowers.
Well he can f**king keep that fickle disco tart.

'cause I've had it up to here with little girls.
She looked ugly today day, smoking her fag.
Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.

Make me reflective, introspective
Make me the violence, and explain my silence.
Cause it's never too late to fill me with hate...
So pull away, go, make me look cool.

And she looks best, sunday mornings, coming down.

So what will I achieve, and who should I believe.


I lick her slit, as it tightens it's grip.
My drugged up kiss. so hey, have something else.
Its hard to conceal the way I feel.

And she looks best, sunday mornings, coming down.
It seems that some wanker makes her darker
Sights her hair.

Make me reflective, introspective
Make me the violence, and explain my silence.
Cause it's never too late to fill me with hate...
So pull away, go, make me look cool.

And she looks best, sunday mornings, coming down.

So what will I achieve, and who should I believe.


I lick her slit, as it tightens it's grip.
My drugged up kiss. so hey, have something else.
Its hard to conceal the way I feel.

And she looks best, sunday mornings, coming down.
It seems that some wanker makes her darker
Sights her hair.

I'd been to a friends house for dinner.
My mum wanted me home early so I said I'd better go home.
Her sister said she was going anyway so she could walk me some of the way
And she knew a shortcut through the woods.
She had long black hair, green eyes.

I wish my friends could have seen me.
We seemed to get on well, on the way
Considering the age gap.
She was nineteen and I was almost fifteen.

She stopped by the river,
And asked me to go swimming.
I was a bit embarrassed. I said no.
But she said she would anyway, stepped back, and stripped.
The sun was beginning to set, as she slipped into the water.
And when she was in she kept teasing me, so I gave in.
But I kept my pants on.

The water was warmer than I'd expected.
We swam around and played.


She had pushed me under the water.
I could feel her legs against mine underneath.
She'd hold my arm.
We must've been in about an hour.

I got out first.
I leaned against a tree and put my trousers back on
And then she got out of the river and walked towards me.
She put her hands on the tree above my head
Pushed herself against me, and leaned down and kissed me.
I don't know how long it lasted.

Then she stepped back, bundled up her clothes and said "i'm sure you can find your own way from here".
I ran back along the path.

I was late home and I gave my mum some excuse.
She beleived it.
Then the next day at school
My friend invited me round for dinner again
I said no.

I was awake I overheard your speech.
My ego dried and sank.
Talked with your ex and we agreed
Thought of your sister helped us wank.
I'm sure you know that I have fancied her since she began high school.
But back in then, and I will promise I will let your engine cool.


I have matured, I've come of age, my visions clear.
But there's still some things that I don't want to hear.
And I know that it was probably just those e's, but be a bit more thoughtful next time, please.

While I'm alive, well, I just drive.
Each time I scored I just got bored.
And that's no bollocks ... I am just a slut.

I was awake I overheard your speech.
My ego dried and sank.
Talked with your ex and we agreed
Thought of your sister helped us wank.
I'm sure you know that I have fancied her since she began high school.
But back in then, and I will promise I will let your engine cool.


I have matured, I've come of age, my visions clear.
But there's still some things that I don't want to hear.
And I know that it was probably just those e's, but be a bit more thoughtful next time, please.

While I'm alive, well, I just drive.
Each time I scored I just got bored.
And that's no bollocks ... I am just a slut.

I'm waiting for a service, waiting in vain.
She's waiting on another man, no one drank again.
She flashed me the menu, working smell on her lips.
Led me just enough. I shouldn't have tipped.
I say 'well', the food there was crap.


The other one there, I didn't give two glances.
She's in love with my soul - she think's I'm attractive.
She forraged a smile, I saw the floor.
She tried again, I examined the ashtray.
I say 'well'.
But I still make the mistake of eating where the food is crap.

I'm waiting for a service, waiting in vain.
She's waiting on another man, no one drank again.
She flashed me the menu, working smell on her lips.
Led me just enough. I shouldn't have tipped.
I say 'well', the food there was crap.


The other one there, I didn't give two glances.
She's in love with my soul - she think's I'm attractive.
She forraged a smile, I saw the floor.
She tried again, I examined the ashtray.
I say 'well'.
But I still make the mistake of eating where the food is crap.

I work in a saloon, pulling shit pints for shit wages.
It's a busy night tonight.
And the bar is full of all the girls I've ever shagged, or tampered with, or kissed, or even just fancied.
A pub full of conquests, knockbacks.

Between the laughter I can here my name.
And then, through the gap between the swing doors and floor, I see your feet.
You push open the doors and walk in


And as always all heads turn.
And the room becomse silent, except for the sound or your dm's scuffing on the floor.

You stroll through the jealous gaze straight to the bar, smile, and ask for some exotic cocktail.
But I don't know how to make it.
So you just shrug, smile again, turnaround and leave
And I pull another pint.

I work in a saloon, pulling shit pints for shit wages.
It's a busy night tonight.
And the bar is full of all the girls I've ever shagged, or tampered with, or kissed, or even just fancied.
A pub full of conquests, knockbacks.

Between the laughter I can here my name.
And then, through the gap between the swing doors and floor, I see your feet.
You push open the doors and walk in


And as always all heads turn.
And the room becomse silent, except for the sound or your dm's scuffing on the floor.

You stroll through the jealous gaze straight to the bar, smile, and ask for some exotic cocktail.
But I don't know how to make it.
So you just shrug, smile again, turnaround and leave
And I pull another pint.

Don't try and tell me kate moss ain't pretty.
Don't try and make me believe.
Don't try to force me to let you boss me when I'm pretending to leave.

I knew that you could ruin my good mood.
That's exactly what you've done.
We sat there silent ,you got violent.
Going out with you used to be fun.


You're getting colder, no doubt you've told her
I've just come past.
Does she know maybe, you're having a baby?
I think it's about time you did that test.

You know I'll miss you when I can't kiss you.
You know I don't want us to split.
Now I must say it's going that way.
You're always bored and full of shit.

Don't try and tell me kate moss ain't pretty.
Don't try and make me believe.
Don't try to force me to let you boss me when I'm pretending to leave.

I knew that you could ruin my good mood.
That's exactly what you've done.
We sat there silent ,you got violent.
Going out with you used to be fun.


You're getting colder, no doubt you've told her
I've just come past.
Does she know maybe, you're having a baby?
I think it's about time you did that test.

You know I'll miss you when I can't kiss you.
You know I don't want us to split.
Now I must say it's going that way.
You're always bored and full of shit.

I will never love you
Do what you will.
I will never lick you
The way I do so well.
You now weaken your voice
"ah, hey".

I will never talk to you
Do what you will.
You will never make me smile
The way you did so well.
You now meet with your boys
"ah, hey".


Most of all I will never cry.
My thoughts will never turn to you.
I'll walk through this world making little girls happy.
But not you, no not you.

Do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.
You will do what you will.
You will do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.

I will never love you
Do what you will.
I will never lick you
The way I do so well.
You now weaken your voice
"ah, hey".

I will never talk to you
Do what you will.
You will never make me smile
The way you did so well.
You now meet with your boys
"ah, hey".


Most of all I will never cry.
My thoughts will never turn to you.
I'll walk through this world making little girls happy.
But not you, no not you.

Do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.
You will do what you will.
You will do what you will.
Do what you will.
Do what you will.

Phone me tonight when you're pissed. just to tell me that I'm missed.
Tell me you want me in your cunt. tell me you're not sure what you want.

I tried to tell you, I made it clear. I think you make me not want you here.

Phone me tomorrow when you're sober.


Just to tell me it's all over.
Tell me I'm not wanted in your bed.
Remember one thing you haven't said.

I tried to tell you, I tried to say. I never wanted it to end this way.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

So that was the first big weekend of the summer...
Starts thursday as usual with the canteen quiz and again no-one wins the big cash prize.
Later I do my sound bloke routine by approaching gina's new boyfriend to say that he shouldn't feel that there's any animosity between us and then I even go and make peace with her shouldn't hav
Hered.

Then on friday night we went through to the arches...

There was only one car going so some of us had to get the train. we got through quite late. then we went to a pub to take the gear.
There was no problems getting in - we saw some others waiting down the front of the queue so we skipped in.
It was a good night - everyone was nutted and I ended up dancing with some blonde girl.
I thought she had been quite pretty until last night when matthew informed me that she had, in fact, been a pig.

When the club finished we wandered the streets for a while until we got to this 24-hour cafe.
I didn't like the look of it so we left and got a taxi back to morag's flat.
I couldn't sleep so I sat about drinking someone else's strawberry tonic wine and tried to keep everyone else up.

Then at ten o'clock in the morning we went downstairs to buy some drink. we had intended to watch the football in the afternoon but we'd passed out by then and slept right through it, awaking to
That england had won two-nil.
Then we went to get the train home and had a few in the station bar.
We had some stuff left from the previous night's supplies so when we got home we decided to go down to john's indie disco.
Same story as friday - lots of hugging, lots of dancing etc. etc.
I couldn't sleep again so went to the park to look at the toon, taking a detour through the playpark.
To get in we had to climb over a ten foot steel fence, which resulted in severe bruising of our hands, legs and groins, but we had a good laugh on the stuff, especially the tube-slide, which pro


Doubles up as a urinal for drunk teens.
Then we walked through the woods to have a look at the toon. big disappointment, but the mist on the lake was cool.

Sunday afternoon we go up to john's with a lot of beer in time to watch the simpsons - it was a really good episode about love always ending in tragedy except, of course, for marge and homer. it
Quite moving at the end and to tell you the truth my eyes were a bit damp.

Then we watched these young girls in swimsuits have a water fight in the street.
We went up to the pub about ten.
It was busy for a sunday night, lots of people we know, including my first ever girlfriend who I still find very attractive, quite frankly, but I didn't really speak to her
She's probably still a bitch, anyway.
Her friend gillian was there, I had a chat with her, she was still quite pleasant.
At the same time I watched malcolm make some terrible attempt to try and chat up a girl we know called jo. he made some remark about her skirt that was barely there the previous night or somethi
R>
I couldn't sleep again that night, thanks to some seriously disturbing nightmares...matthew says I should cut down on the cheese.

"went out for the weekend, it lasted for ever, high with our friends it's officially summer."

I got some sleep eventually on monday afternoon.
It was a beautiful day, and later that evening malcolm introduced me to the power of merrydown - ³1.79 a litre, 8.2% - mmmm.....
Judith and laura came round later and we sat in my back garden and drank.
Then matthew came round and we went up the town.
It's officially summer.

So that was the first big weekend of the summer...
Starts thursday as usual with the canteen quiz and again no-one wins the big cash prize.
Later I do my sound bloke routine by approaching gina's new boyfriend to say that he shouldn't feel that there's any animosity between us and then I even go and make peace with her shouldn't hav
Hered.

Then on friday night we went through to the arches...

There was only one car going so some of us had to get the train. we got through quite late. then we went to a pub to take the gear.
There was no problems getting in - we saw some others waiting down the front of the queue so we skipped in.
It was a good night - everyone was nutted and I ended up dancing with some blonde girl.
I thought she had been quite pretty until last night when matthew informed me that she had, in fact, been a pig.

When the club finished we wandered the streets for a while until we got to this 24-hour cafe.
I didn't like the look of it so we left and got a taxi back to morag's flat.
I couldn't sleep so I sat about drinking someone else's strawberry tonic wine and tried to keep everyone else up.

Then at ten o'clock in the morning we went downstairs to buy some drink. we had intended to watch the football in the afternoon but we'd passed out by then and slept right through it, awaking to
That england had won two-nil.
Then we went to get the train home and had a few in the station bar.
We had some stuff left from the previous night's supplies so when we got home we decided to go down to john's indie disco.
Same story as friday - lots of hugging, lots of dancing etc. etc.
I couldn't sleep again so went to the park to look at the toon, taking a detour through the playpark.
To get in we had to climb over a ten foot steel fence, which resulted in severe bruising of our hands, legs and groins, but we had a good laugh on the stuff, especially the tube-slide, which pro


Doubles up as a urinal for drunk teens.
Then we walked through the woods to have a look at the toon. big disappointment, but the mist on the lake was cool.

Sunday afternoon we go up to john's with a lot of beer in time to watch the simpsons - it was a really good episode about love always ending in tragedy except, of course, for marge and homer. it
Quite moving at the end and to tell you the truth my eyes were a bit damp.

Then we watched these young girls in swimsuits have a water fight in the street.
We went up to the pub about ten.
It was busy for a sunday night, lots of people we know, including my first ever girlfriend who I still find very attractive, quite frankly, but I didn't really speak to her
She's probably still a bitch, anyway.
Her friend gillian was there, I had a chat with her, she was still quite pleasant.
At the same time I watched malcolm make some terrible attempt to try and chat up a girl we know called jo. he made some remark about her skirt that was barely there the previous night or somethi
R>
I couldn't sleep again that night, thanks to some seriously disturbing nightmares...matthew says I should cut down on the cheese.

"went out for the weekend, it lasted for ever, high with our friends it's officially summer."

I got some sleep eventually on monday afternoon.
It was a beautiful day, and later that evening malcolm introduced me to the power of merrydown - ³1.79 a litre, 8.2% - mmmm.....
Judith and laura came round later and we sat in my back garden and drank.
Then matthew came round and we went up the town.
It's officially summer.

I take in the smoke from the barbeque. I swallow my own cheap booze.
I try not to look at your legs, as little boys play in big girl's shoes.
I play their games and take them walks. I make jokes about feeling clucky.
Nnd I make myself drunken dreams but first I'd have to get lucky.

I know it didn't mean a thing, I just pretended it's a joke.
I say I saw you topless but I keep quiet about that business with the poke.

The smell of outdoor cooking, the bevvy's gone to my head.
Please don't bend over like that, it makes me wonder what we'd be like in bed.

Get your fingers out my friend...

Did you think the same as me? As we stood there in the kitchen.
We were talking about having kids and as usual I did my bit of bitching.

You know that I don't want a girlfriend. I just wanted someone to fuck.
Just someone to pass the time with, when it's coming up for the chuck.

Keep your fingers out my friend...

Half nine I'm glued to you, then I'll disappear. Call your other side it lasted three year.

F**k love, fight love, F**k love, fight.
F**k love and chuck love 'til tomorrow night.

Then start again and lose again. Small tablet of pleasure.
Fight Jock. F**k. F**k love forever.

F**k love, fight love, F**k love, fight.
F**k love and chuck love 'til tomorrow night.

Held tight I was wrong. C-Coldsore cunt.
Sorry for losing respect Malc
I was wasted on that slut.
Held tight I was wrong C-Coldsore cunt.
Sorry for loosing respect - I was wasted on that slut.

Half nine I'm glued to you, then I'll disappear. Call your other side it lasted three year.

F**k love, fight love, F**k love, fight.
F**k love and chuck love 'til tomorrow night.

Then start again and lose again. Small tablet of pleasure.
Fight Jock. F**k. F**k love forever.

F**k love, fight love, F**k love, fight.
F**k love and chuck love 'til tomorrow night.

Held tight I was wrong. C-Coldsore cunt.
Sorry for losing respect Malc
I was wasted on that slut.
Held tight I was wrong C-Coldsore cunt.
Sorry for loosing respect - I was wasted on that slut.

If your hair was a call to arms
and your legs were what skirts are for
then your mouth was a red alert
but your eyes were an act of war.

I needed a nurse and a mother,
I needed an open-minded whore.
I needed a barmaid and a lover.
Someone to stand between me and the floor.

But when we attacked, it was never swiftly.
We must have been locked in combat for years.
Our new hardwood floor was the perfect battleground
so I suppose the bullets were our tears.

Okay, I know we threw some things about
and i'm sure that you got in a punch or two
and is it true your comrade's been asking if I'm the sort of man
who could ever sink to hit you too?

"Why does she always have bruises? They'd be much happier apart"
the fact is, you've always been clumsy
be it with tables at your work or with my heart.

You said you didn't mind if she turned round to sleep
but you were just half being nice, there's no rewards to reap.
And if she had stayed up, you'd still be here alone.
You'd still have no idea what that means and you'd still fear the phone.

The longest walk was that night in your brand new shoes
but what you can't find now's the thing that you can't lose.

A change of scenery, a change of mind and face.
He used your clothes and hands and then fucked off without a trace.
I see him now and then, but now he just looks bored.
He used to flirt with everyone but prefers to be ignored.

So let me dance tonight and I will be your host
then maybe you'll make up your mind which one loves you most.
We'll even leave the room, so you'll be free to choose.
Remember what he can't find now's the thing that you can't lose.

Being thoughtful's just a curse
but a one night stand just makes it worse.

I don't like the words that the birds are singing.
I hate their ugly voices and the messages they're bringing.
But if everyone can start again and everyone can win
then I'll re-arrange the place that I'm in.

And I can't stick the way that they flap and flutter.
They whisper I'm a cunt and they cackle and they mutter.
But i'm sure I heard them reassure me everything ends
as I walked away from all my fake friends.

They've scrutinised the mistakes I've been making.
They know who I've fucked, they know what I've taken.
They've seen me in the shower with shit down my legs.
They've seen me searching a stranger's house for dregs.

I used to think they loved me, but now I know it's pity
and they know that they can always flee this fucking city.
They even said they'd help me out and give me a head start
and they know that these days my cock's as numb as my heart.

New blood flows.
Old faces go.
I like the new ones better.
I think I like these girls.
Feels like I've travelled miles.
Now I want to party all the time.
Now I want to party all the time again.

Sex without love is a good ride worth trying
but love without sex is second only to dying.
When kissing is missing and legs stay shut tight
you'll hate every morning and dread every night.

Don't drag it out when you've lost your glue.

You'll always feel lonely and always be minging,
you won't notice colours and you'll never hear singing.
The surest sign ever that good times are ending
is sharing a sleeping space with no fucking pending.

Don't drag it out too far, don't do what I do.

The rain pissed down on Leven's shores.
The sane rain would rain on superstores
and set off car alarms in our street.
Let's burn our clothes and hunt our meat.

A day of skies, a day of feasts,
we fell to bed, to grunt like beasts.
We could live in your wee car,
we could never go too far.

A flash of sun between your thighs,
a perfect black shape to protect my eyes.
A swooping hawk, a dying tree.
"Fuck me," says he, "fuck you," says she.

If i'm a clown, then you're a mime
but I'm sure that we'd be friends in time.
The selkie put her skin back on
and swam away, back to her own

The rain pissed down on Leven's shores.
The sane rain would rain on superstores
and set off car alarms in our street.
Let's burn our clothes and hunt our meat.

A day of skies, a day of feasts,
we fell to bed, to grunt like beasts.
We could live in your wee car,
we could never go too far.

A flash of sun between your thighs,
a perfect black shape to protect my eyes.
A swooping hawk, a dying tree.
"Fuck me," says he, "fuck you," says she.

If i'm a clown, then you're a mime
but I'm sure that we'd be friends in time.
The selkie put her skin back on
and swam away, back to her own

There are no set rules to follow, just a big black gaping hollow that we fall into and hope that it means love. And the beasts snapping at your feet keep barking that you're incomplete. Ignore them, but heed the beasts above. So if you see me coming you better whistle or start humming a€?cause otherwise, I 'll tell you now that I'll just walk right by a€?cause lover, when I drink, I'm dozy but I fancy getting cosy and I heard a rumour that I might have caught your eye. So come on darling, break my heart. Mess me around and shag all my friends, a€?cause we can't waste what we can't even start and it's best to go out with a bang when a wee disaster ends.

Every man needs a tit to suckle
but some days I'm sure my legs will just buckle.
Good morning, mister magpie, how's the lady wife?
You've been sitting there for years now, studying my life.

So you may as well just build a nest here.
Good fucking luck, 'cause I still can't rest here.
Nine of your brothers perched in my past,
they were right for a while but I knew it couldn't last.

But moon be full tonight and I will find my bride.
She'll be good to me and she will love to ride.
And she might make mistakes but I know I will too
because we can't all be whole and bright like you.

And I'd serenade you every night
but you'd never be home to hear it.
I wrote your name with fireworks in the sky
but you never turned up to see it.

So let me take you out and buy you drinks
and I can mumble through an explanation.
I hear you know that's when you're getting old,
when all you really want's a conversation.

Don't get me wrong, I've always had plans
for your lips and my lips.
The first time I saw you I saw all my future
right between your hips.

You're a woman who can teach me stuff.
The kind of girl I want to bathe and dance with.
But just ignore me now I understand;
I only go for girls i've got no chance with.

Look up right now, the sky's on fire.
I want your breath when I retire.
I want your feet to scratch my shin,
to make me bleed and scar the skin.

Another bloated disco,
Another sniff of romance I'll forget
We promised to ourselves before we came out
We'd do something we regret

These people are your friends
This cunted circus never ends
I won't remember anything you say

I lost my social skills a while ago
But now I feel them coming back
My eyes were rolling when we met
And now they are preparing for attack

I want to fall in love tonight
And form the perfect unbreakable bond
You can be my teenage Jenny Agutter
Swimming naked in a pond

You know i'm always moanin'
But you jumpstart my seratonin
But how d'you know you've ever really loved?

But when I feel like this, I know it doesn't matter
When I eat when I'm not hungy I'm sure I feel my face get fatter
Then I thin out every weekend and I think that she might want me
But I always slip off my own 'cause...

I let those feelings haunt me, they control me,
But tonight I'm letting go
You're more then just a photo album,
You're more than what some people let you know

And if we ever make it home,
I'll tell you all the things that shaped me thus;
Something forged in a phonebox but lost in a restaurant
We've got so much to discuss

Here, have you tried the blue ones?
I hear he's got some new ones
Sleep is not an option tonight

Look at us just stand and stare
Look at them just pose and pout
And we'll all be standing here
Until the pigs chuck us out

Easy come, easy gone,
we knew they'd leave us all along.
Now we cook our own tea and we don't sign on.

And the week never starts round here,
raise your cider, and I'll raise my beer.

Easy come, easy gone,
kiss a girl then write a song.
Enjoy it while you can
'cause it won't last long.

And the week never starts round here,
raise your cider, and I'll raise my beer.

Easy come, easy gone,
simple as this stupid song.
Now your cupboard's clean
you can carry on.

And the week never starts round here,
raise your cider, and I'l raise my beer.

Who Named The Days


I never slam the door these days then again, I’m never here. And you know where to find me with my oldest friend I hold so dear. Who named the days? Who named this mess?
I don’t care what she says; I need to get out less.

Me and him go back a long way
and his advice has always been shite.
But he knows how to make me laugh,
I’ve never bothered if he’s right.
Who named the days? Who named this mess?
I don’t care what she says, I need to get out less.

But sometimes when I’m with him
I just stop being me.
And he knows, on my own,
I could never be the man he’s always wanted me to be.
He makes me treat girls like shit.
He makes me lie to them and use them.

I think he loves to watch me playing games
and he loves to watch me lose them.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

Oh, she always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that used to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

I adore, but I ignore her.
See, I know it won't last as I reflect upon my past.
But on severance she makes no difference.
There's things I won't let her know, as we're perfecting our show..
I won't ignore her - I think I'll phone her.
I can't explore her if I ignore her.


And now the things that used to turn me off I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees as she lies naked in the clearing.

But she won't beckon - is what I reckon.
She might adore me, but she'll ignore me.
Tell them to show there, and we get nowhere.
She loves my snoring, so it never get's boring.

She always used to be the same.
She'd be loose with with a straight dark facial frame.
And now the things that use to turn me off, I find endearing.
And they laugh behind the trees and she lays naked in the clearing.

The rain woke us up.
You turned round and just did it.
Good morning, slow down.
Have you remembered where you hid it?

You cried in the kitchen.
We made up in the hall.
I watched you get dressed.
Those boots make you too tall.

And we made each other late,
'cause I took my watch off there,
so it wouldn't scratch your skin,
or get tangled in your hair.

It wasn't long ago
we went on guided tours
but I forgot what it meant
to pretend my hand is yours.

It's best in the morning.
When we know it won't be rushed.
So leave the curtains closed
and come back when you've brushed.

Haunt me.
I know
you'll keep me
in tow.

No laugh,
no guide,
no limp
beside.

So haunt me
'cause I know
you'll keep me
in tow.

If she's all
I need
to love
and breed.

then haunt me
'cause I'll know
you'll keep me
in tow.

How can nothing ever mean something?
It goes from white to grey so fast.
A new pool on a strange mattress.
Helps me catch up with my past.

Pass me something to wipe with.
We're so easy to please.
Do you worry that it's loaded?
Laced with a million littles me's.

So are you up for the hat-trick
or are you down for a rest?
Is the whitest light between our legs
or hidden in my chest?

And if they see us on the stairs
or if they catch us on the sink.
Move quickly and brush it off
with a giggle and a wink.

At least we know we're fuckable,
at least we're sated and we're tired.
At least the bedroom stinks,
and we know we're desired.

We used to do it to ease the tension.
Pretend that sex wasn't our intention.
Even weeks later when they all knew.
It always helped just to have a few.

But now what's the point
if we're not going out?
It only makes you tired.
and makes me shout.

Always the last chance for you and me.
First come apologies, then the plea.
I wash the walls as you pack your stuff.
I've had too much and you've had enough.

So what's the point
when we're not meeting friends?
From midday to morning
on weekdays or weekends.

We could pretend that this never started.
That you're still shy, I'm still broken-hearted.
And we'll get pissed just to watch the telly.
I'll get worked up when you flash your belly.

But what's the point
if we're just staying in?
It's a lot of effort
for one big din.

We slept in this morning and she had to get ready in a hurry - no time for her usual attention to detail - and she ran out the door, slamming it behind her, leaving her keys swinging and jangling. I stayed in bed until I heard the downstairs door shut, then peeked through the blinds and as soon as she was out of sight, I went for the keys. She never tried to make a secret of the box or the fact it was locked or even where she kept it. But as I said at the time - "If you've nothing to hide, why hide it?"

It's one of those wee red cashbox things and she keeps it in a drawer by the bed, under some pictures and books. Every key she has is on the same keyring - it took me a while to find the right one. I don't know, I suppose I've had my doubts for a while. There's been hushed phone-calls virtually every night, her friends stop talking when I come in the room and they look at each other, and I don't know, it's just a feeling. Anyway, I eventually found the right key and it fitted perfectly in. I put the box on top of the bed and opened it up...

There were these pictures of friends and ex's, letters, postcards, doodles, nothing bad - and then I found some sort of sex diary and I went to the latest entry. It explicity detailed a recent adventure up the park with a boy she said she had forgotten about...

And it got worse as it went on. The dates never made sense, there were people I had never even heard of. Eventually I had to stop reading it because I started to feel sick. So I put everything back the way I found it, shut the drawer and phoned you. See, I don't know what to do. I keep having fantasies about leaving her dictaphone under the pillow or following her when she goes to work. I've been lying about where I'm going, just in case I can bump into her.

You used to be part of the scenery
but now I know your name.
And my mind wonders what my hands would do
to make sure that you came.

She hardly said a word again tonight.
I threw a book and grabbed my keys.
And on the way here I swore to myself,
I'd fuck whoever I please.

Everywhere I go,
there's so much on show.
Everyone is beautiful
and I stay dutiful.

The only solid solution is to sever my hands.
Stitch my mouth up and blind me.
Wrap me up and pack me tight.
Leave me somewhere you'll never find me.

Everywhere I go,
there's so much on show.
Everyone is beautiful
but I stay dutiful.

It must just be the sun
and my desire for fun.
If you did it, would you tell us?
I think I'll always be jealous.

We met on mutual ground
but you avoided my gaze
until I lost your face
in the next morning's haze.

You're shoes could've woken up the whole street.
They drowned out the birds screaming in the trees.
We sat down on the stone stairs
and I watched the scars on your knees.

We met on mutual ground.
You fell out of your dress.
This bar's not open late enough,
so let's go home and make a mess.


They smiled and left the room
to leave us with more space
but we stayed where we were
and just had a drink to the chase.

A good night kiss equals a quick reaction
but it's hard to believe I'm fully grown.
So as usual, we parted on vague terms,
so you could climb back on your thrown.

If I could always be eighteen.
You could always be eight.
We'd draw monsters on your walls.
I'll keep you up too late.

'Cause getting served in pubs
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I dreamt you were wee again.
Arms stretched out and pining for me.

Come here so I can help you
tie your brand new tie,
brush your coat and remember
no-one laughs if you cry.

Well fuck me, it's windy.
We picked a good day.
That's the first drink I've ever bought you
and I'm sure you're starting to sway.

You've always thought the first time was that night on the boat,
Ccramped up in the bottom bunk while she slept above.
I suppose it's more glamourous out at sea under the moon.
Instead of pissed at a party while they laughed below.

Twenty-three years of foreplay led up to this.
But sometimes I envy my friends, sometimes I see a world of opportunity.
And what if stays out there anchored in the middle of nowhere.
Maybe we should arrange to meet somewhere, you go out with yours,
I'll go out with mine.

You always thought the first time was on the boat, and you don't even like boats.
When we got one on holiday all you could say was "don't go out too far".
And what if it never comes back, it just stays out there on the sea.
All my favourite memories are of you.
All the best times were with you, but sometimes I see a world of opportunity.

You always jump and quiver
when you're coming in to land
with no runway, no guidance
no nails dug into my hand.

We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school
and see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking.
The downside of what we take.
Some weekends I feel
like I could always be awake.

A party in a strangers house.
Have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking
and get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here
but this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us.
We might never sleep again.

You always jump and quiver
When you're coming in to land
With no runway, no guidance
No nails dug into my hand.

We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school
And see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking.
The downside of what we take.


Some weekends I feel
Like I could always be awake.

A party in a strangers house.
Have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking
And get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here
But this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us.
We might never sleep again.

You always jump and quiver
When you're coming in to land
With no runway, no guidance
No nails dug into my hand.

We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school
And see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking.
The downside of what we take.


Some weekends I feel
Like I could always be awake.

A party in a strangers house.
Have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking
And get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here
But this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us.
We might never sleep again.

You always jump and quiver
When you're coming in to land
With no runway, no guidance
No nails dug into my hand.

We could have whoever we want.
We could go back to school
And see the dead laugh again.
Let's get dressed up and pull.

The only benefit of drinking.
The downside of what we take.


Some weekends I feel
Like I could always be awake.

A party in a strangers house.
Have we ever met the host?
Just smile and keep talking
And get your can for a toast.

We won't always be safe here
But this is where we reign.
Pull it tight to protect us.
We might never sleep again.

The bed's a mess when we're finished and at rest,
and I can just see the post-fuck flush across your chest.
The telly's silent, the room's lit only by the screen,
and now we're perfect moulds with just our pulses in between.

Well I'm not listening to what my mother said -
what we're doing inside my bed.
And I'm not pretending this time you're someone else,
but I'm cleaning these sheets all by myself.

Afterwards is best.
You get up to get dressed -
I think your pants are by the door.
I think tomorrow we might be sore.

Even in this light, your tits look white against the tanning,
and I know we're a couple now 'cause we went down the family planning.
It hit me in the waiting room waiting for you when you were getting what you need.
But I can't help be a bit disappointed when you start to bleed.

Afterwards is best.
You get up to get dressed -
I think your pants are by the door.
I think tomorrow we might be sore.

The bed's a mess when we're finished and at rest,
and I can just see the post-fuck flush across your chest.
The telly's silent, the room's lit only by the screen,
and now we're perfect moulds with just our pulses in between.

Well I'm not listening to what my mother said -
what we're doing inside my bed.
And I'm not pretending this time you're someone else,
but I'm cleaning these sheets all by myself.

Afterwards is best.
You get up to get dressed -
I think your pants are by the door.
I think tomorrow we might be sore.

Even in this light, your tits look white against the tanning,
and I know we're a couple now 'cause we went down the family planning.
It hit me in the waiting room waiting for you when you were getting what you need.
But I can't help be a bit disappointed when you start to bleed.

Afterwards is best.
You get up to get dressed -
I think your pants are by the door.
I think tomorrow we might be sore.

I wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie.
It's in my mouth and under my nails.
I wish I'd woken up in someone elses bed.
Wish I was the wind in someone elses sails.

I've no-one in particular in mind right now.
It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack.
I should have known you'd want to try again.
But I'm looking forward now
I'm not stepping back.



My last lover's playing with a new man now.
It's only three weeks we've been apart.
They sat together and he sent her flowers.
Well he can f**king keep that fickle disco tart.

'cause I've had it up to here with little girls.
She looked ugly today day, smoking her fag.
Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.

I wish it was someone elses blood on the jonnie.
It's in my mouth and under my nails.
I wish I'd woken up in someone elses bed.
Wish I was the wind in someone elses sails.

I've no-one in particular in mind right now.
It was inevitable we'd end up in the sack.
I should have known you'd want to try again.
But I'm looking forward now
I'm not stepping back.



My last lover's playing with a new man now.
It's only three weeks we've been apart.
They sat together and he sent her flowers.
Well he can f**king keep that fickle disco tart.

'cause I've had it up to here with little girls.
She looked ugly today day, smoking her fag.
Just like a schoolgirl trying to look grown-up.
Now I'm looking for a woman but I'll settle for a shag.

We're sitting fruity alchopops with pink glasses with ice and watching the girls of summer
With there bare legs and trains and there white strap link through yesterdays top beneath today's cologne
Across there peeling shoulders on there way to the bar

Later I put my tape in the bath in attempt to shave, well almost cut and ending up slashing my cheek and nickin' my lip
And spraying on some poof juice and go to the park with my economy cider

I don't think I'll need a jacket

It'll be bright when the carry outs are finished
And we head to the pub to get everyone else


Leaving our empties kicked behind a bush
We'll get 'em in there and casually saunter into the bogs and swallow
And get taxi's down to a club
The micelet and magpie through the window on the way
In the hope they'll get a shag

But I'll wake up clamouring a girl I know fully clothed on someone's couch I've barely slept for two hours
All sweaty and thoughtful and needing a fix
And then you'll wake up
And the first thing we'll do is to make plans to get pissed
So we'll sit in a pub and watch the girls of summer.

We're sitting fruity alchopops with pink glasses with ice and watching the girls of summer
With there bare legs and trains and there white strap link through yesterdays top beneath today's cologne
Across there peeling shoulders on there way to the bar

Later I put my tape in the bath in attempt to shave, well almost cut and ending up slashing my cheek and nickin' my lip
And spraying on some poof juice and go to the park with my economy cider

I don't think I'll need a jacket

It'll be bright when the carry outs are finished
And we head to the pub to get everyone else


Leaving our empties kicked behind a bush
We'll get 'em in there and casually saunter into the bogs and swallow
And get taxi's down to a club
The micelet and magpie through the window on the way
In the hope they'll get a shag

But I'll wake up clamouring a girl I know fully clothed on someone's couch I've barely slept for two hours
All sweaty and thoughtful and needing a fix
And then you'll wake up
And the first thing we'll do is to make plans to get pissed
So we'll sit in a pub and watch the girls of summer.

How am I supposed to walk you home when you're at least fifty feet ahead?
Cause you walked off in a huff and I'm that pissed I can't even remember what it was I said.

And I don't doubt you wouldn't touch him now, but let's face it, you always use to go for that kind.
And if you ever really wanted two men at once, all I'm saying is I better be one of the guys you've got in mind.

Here we go same time, same place.
I don't like the way you kiss his face.
It's not that there's no trust as such.


I'd love to make up but I've had to much.

Now you know fine well I'm staying, I've only ever carried out that threat once before.
And even then I coudn't get far and you're mum came and called me back before I'd even made it to the door.

Here we go same time, same place.
My embarassment versus your damp face.
We could down here or we could talk in bed.
But I'm afraid that's all, as I've already said.

How am I supposed to walk you home when you're at least fifty feet ahead?
Cause you walked off in a huff and I'm that pissed I can't even remember what it was I said.

And I don't doubt you wouldn't touch him now, but let's face it, you always use to go for that kind.
And if you ever really wanted two men at once, all I'm saying is I better be one of the guys you've got in mind.

Here we go same time, same place.
I don't like the way you kiss his face.
It's not that there's no trust as such.


I'd love to make up but I've had to much.

Now you know fine well I'm staying, I've only ever carried out that threat once before.
And even then I coudn't get far and you're mum came and called me back before I'd even made it to the door.

Here we go same time, same place.
My embarassment versus your damp face.
We could down here or we could talk in bed.
But I'm afraid that's all, as I've already said.

I pulled the ex last night, and it felt weird to feel her up again.
Knickers down, and bra cast as if the past and not passed.

And she brought the drinks all night, but that's okay, now she's got a job.
Her generosity - my curse. she even let me keep her purse.

But I couldn't get it up - too much to drink, too much to say.
She picked her clothes up off the floor and promptly headed for the door.

I was just trying to use my favourite muse.
I don't think I could ever want her back, I'm just making sure she's still capable of being slack.



And she's got trouble with her boyfriend now.
I always said he was a prick.
I told her from the very start, when she almost broke my heart.

And my room's a mess this morning.
She left her fag-ends floating in a glass.
I didn't try and make her stay. I doubt she would have anyway.

I was just trying to use my favourite muse.
It's nice to see she's still slack. I could never want her back.

You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing. I mean it's very easy to forget - she's just sitting there in the pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair, and it's been five years but you'd know just to look at her.

I wasn't even sure it were her at first; I was ready to walk away but she smiled and called me over and we said hello for a bit. When we back to our tables we were trying not to look over at each other and told our friends to stop staring. I didn't see her for the rest of the night, but by closing time the beers kicked in so I go up and speak to her and we end up talking about our new homes, our new jobs and our new birds.

She says she's been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about chasing her about school when you were wee and lying in your bed and listening to love songs and pretending they were about you. and the first time you asked her out she said no but one night you went to a wedding and when you came back to the pub she's changed her mind and you went out. You remember the way she swung her arms when she held your hand but you can't remember how she kissed and now you've got the chance to find out.

But you have to remember there's this other kiss. She's at home, wondering where you are and what you're doing. And you work hard on this kiss and you know it inside out; it's as much yours as it is hers, and it took a long time to get right, it took months of practice and months of embarassment but now you've got it perfected and you've been looking forward to that kiss all week.

You can see her breath in the air between your faces as you stand in the leaves and she just asks you straight out if you want to come and stay at her flat. But you make sure you get separate taxis and you go home and there might be a slight regret and you might wonder what you missed, but you have to remember the kiss you worked so hard on. And you'll know you've done the right thing.

You just have to be sure you're doing the right thing. I mean it's very easy to forget - she's just sitting there in the pub with her new friends and her new life and her new hair, and it's been five years but you'd know just to look at her.

I wasn't even sure it were her at first; I was ready to walk away but she smiled and called me over and we said hello for a bit. When we back to our tables we were trying not to look over at each other and told our friends to stop staring. I didn't see her for the rest of the night, but by closing time the beers kicked in so I go up and speak to her and we end up talking about our new homes, our new jobs and our new birds.

She says she's been going out with him now for about two and a half years, but they don't live together so he'd never find out. And you think about chasing her about school when you were wee and lying in your bed and listening to love songs and pretending they were about you. and the first time you asked her out she said no but one night you went to a wedding and when you came back to the pub she's changed her mind and you went out. You remember the way she swung her arms when she held your hand but you can't remember how she kissed and now you've got the chance to find out.

But you have to remember there's this other kiss. She's at home, wondering where you are and what you're doing. And you work hard on this kiss and you know it inside out; it's as much yours as it is hers, and it took a long time to get right, it took months of practice and months of embarassment but now you've got it perfected and you've been looking forward to that kiss all week.

You can see her breath in the air between your faces as you stand in the leaves and she just asks you straight out if you want to come and stay at her flat. But you make sure you get separate taxis and you go home and there might be a slight regret and you might wonder what you missed, but you have to remember the kiss you worked so hard on. And you'll know you've done the right thing.

It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best shag I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.


I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd f**k anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best shag I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.


I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd f**k anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

Phone me tonight when you're pissed.
Just to tell me that I'm missed.
Tell me you want me in your cunt.
Tell me you're not sure what you want.
I tried to tell you, I thought I made it clear.
Nothing could make me not want you here.
Phone me tomorrow when you're sober.
Just to remind me that it's over.
And that I'm not needed now in your bed.
And of all the things that I apparently never said.
I tried to tell you, I tried to say.
I never wanted us to end that way.

Phone me tonight when you're pissed.
Just to tell me that I'm missed.
Tell me you want me in your cunt.
Tell me you're not sure what you want.
I tried to tell you, I thought I made it clear.
Nothing could make me not want you here.
Phone me tomorrow when you're sober.
Just to remind me that it's over.
And that I'm not needed now in your bed.
And of all the things that I apparently never said.
I tried to tell you, I tried to say.
I never wanted us to end that way.

You'd already been half an hour with pre-clubbing shower
and I'd always planned to have a look in your special winnie the pooh book.
the place was marked and it was there in blue and white -
it said simply, "paul stayed last night"
Next I was on the bog
and you got down on one knee.
You were protesting your innocence
and you started to cry as I started to pee.

You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
He might as well be a girl.
He's a good for a laugh and he's good for bitchin"

You said you'd never be willing or able.
And he looks like he was made on a fucking table.
Although, to be fair, I think he hides the bolts quite well,
but as soon as he opens his mouth you can just tell.
I had just assumed you'd completely gone off shagging
and I can you seen you with your new uni pals, standing bragging.
now he's your boyfriend and I know you were talking shite
but you still deny it when I met you at someone's birthday party the other night.

You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
It's just like one of the girls.
We have a good laugh when we're sitting bitchin'"

The words that you used to think turned me on just made me laugh -
"do you want to suck my cunt?" in real life just sounds naff.
And when we were with your friends I just as well might of been no one.
And you can't get over your dead dog - well it takes one to know one.