| Disc 1 | ||||||
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Hell opened a new wing on the sixth of June and expanded into the area of human, lustful yearnings with a shopping mall the size of Canada and consumer friendly strategies:
"Reasonably priced goods and free parking to cover all your hellish needs". The red ribbon was cut by Martin Luther, Gandhi and Mussolini in a televised ceremony of epic proportions broadcasted at six o'clock sharp. They all smiled to the cameramen from Diabolos Daily and the Hell Gazette as the brimstone building was made accessible to sinful shoppers of all ages and convictions. Sadly the C.E.O. could not be there for the opening though his spirit lay thick over the parking lot. Shamka, the Arab clerk, smiled his largest smile as the customers started seeping through the revolving door and into the sulphur-smelling, muzak-filled mall. Armed with strange copper coins and charcoal check books, ceaselessly searching for Beelzebub's best bargains. Everything was neatly stacked in monstrous shelves that demanded climbing skills and a complete absence of acrophobia. Several shoppers ceased to hope for happiness already there, returning their coins and crawling back to the surface ? Dependent, dim and drowning in a self-inflicted loss of dignity. Those who stayed behind eventually got lost and ended up desperately searching for the emergency exit. They found there was none, and there coins were collected while their check books were torn to shreds. Luckily they all had credit cards |
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? A gentle lullaby for those who stayed behind ?
"Would the parents of Seth Gibreel please come to the information point?" Shoppers hunting for bargains, best buys and yellow stickers proclaiming "Buy now, pay later" swarmed the white marble. It was already getting grey with ashes, but consumers are consumers, not interior designers, so hardly anyone noticed and even fewer cared. "Would the owner of a black Lamborhini Diablo registration number FF6?13 Please contact the information point? You are blocking the exit." Trolleys got filled with whatever was accessible in the monstrous shelves. The flat rattling of plastic could be heard near every cash register as all coins had been collected or used by consumers to obtain devilishly hot coffee and BeelzeBuns. Bon Appetit "Attention all shoppers. Our hardware department offers very good deals on barbeque equipment. All deals are today only and the supply is limited, so be fast. Thank you." The clattering of hard wheels against solid marble and the metallic shaking of badly produced trolleys ascended to an inferno of sound as shopping hungry people rushed to get what they needed for the barbeque of their lives. They were not disappointed |
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| 3. |
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Well, at least all the small pieces of paper were collected, but their function was limited to say the least. Almost every shop had gone out of business, and the brimstone building had lost its appealing look. The heat was agonizing and the white marble was no longer visible through the thick layer of lifeless ashes and dry dirt.
Empty trolleys blocked the hallways and the air was filled with infernal muzak played at unbearable volumes. Credit cards lay melted around the payment terminals and worthless vouchers were tossed around on the floor by dry, hot winds. Some shoppers still endured, but they gave in to the poisonous air and excruciating heat one by one ? leaving their empty shells behind, making the ultimate payment to the shopping mall and its C.E.O, Mr. M. The gargantuan parking lot held only one car ? black, streamlined and expensive ? arrogantly parked in front of the huge exit. A pillar on each side of the automated door unified in the tiresome task of supporting a hideously, fluorescent sign: "Thanks for visiting. Please come again." It would not be long before the mall re-opened |
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