| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 3:00 | 
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Three-Way!
Three-Way! Three-Way! |
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| 2. |
| 3:00 |
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See them on their big bright screen
Tan and blonde and seventeen Eating nonfood keeps them mean But they're young forever If they must grow up They marry dukes and earls I hate California girls They ain't broke, so they put on airs The faux folk sans derrieres They breathe coke and they have affairs With each passing rock star They come on like squares Then get off like squirrels I hate California girls Looking down their perfect noses At me and my kind Do they think we won't? Well, never mind Laughing through their perfect teeth At everyone I know Do they think we won't Get up and go? So I have planned my grand attacks I will stand behind their backs With my brand-new battle ax Then will they taste my wrath They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls" They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls" They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls" They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls" They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls" They will hear me say As the pavement whirls |
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| 3. |
| 3:01 |
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Old fools, dancing
Old fools who believe That they can dance and sing And fall in love After all, love Old wines, old shoes Old lines who would've thought They would ever reuse Like I, love you Surprise I, love you Flowers, long drive Old fools, new lives Old fools, dancing Old rules take the Backseat to new romancing Long drives, flowers Old fools, new lives |
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| 4. |
| 2:41 |
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Xavier says, "Ha, ha, ha
We have nothing in common See you round ta-ta Slink back to your abominable lover Zsa-Zsa, before I blow your cover Tra-lala" Zsa-Zsa's scene, tacky queen You think there's no one but you Get your crass little ass Out and don't make me cut you With how much you talk you'd think That someone else was listening Want a drink, Miss Thing? "Slow gin fizz', says Xavier Zsa-Zsa orders and drinks come "Here it is, teddy bear To your health, you rat fink scum" Xavier wheezes, "I forgot" Before each line he sneezes quite a lot |
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| 5. |
| 2:58 |
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I walk alone around the town
I used to walk with you I watch the lonely snow come down down Seventh Avenue Now dreadful decorations deck the air and mistletoe is hanging everywhere but you no longer care Oh, Mr. Mistletoe hanging above please go away I've got no one to love Oh Mr. Mistletoe wither and die you useless weed for no one have I Oh, Mr. Mistletoe how very rude Couldn't you tell I'm not in the mood? Oh, Mr. Mistletoe go find your tree Didn't you know? There's no Christmas for me Oh, Mr. Mistletoe go find your tree Didn't you know? There's no Christmas for me |
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| 6. |
| 3:01 |
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Please stop dancing in my head
I have cried till I'm half dead Please stop dancing in my head Please stop dancing in my mind I have cried till I'm half blind Please stop dancing in my mind Please stop dancing in my heart I can't seem to make it art Please stop dancing in my heart Please stop dancing in my soul I can't make it rock 'n' roll Please stop dancing in my soul Please stop dancing in my sleep I can't make it twang and beep Please stop dancing in my sleep Please stop dancing in my eyes I can't make it pretty lies Please stop dancing in my eyes Please stop dancing in my blood Ill wind blowing no one good Please stop dancing in my blood Please stop dancing in my life I will never be your wife Please stop dancing in my life |
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| 7. |
| 2:50 |
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Drive on, driver
There's no one home We've waited hours She didn't come It's such a pretty little ring But it doesn't mean anything Drive on Drive on, driver And don't you cry I gave her everything Money could buy I always said that girl Deserved the whole wide world Drive on And take me to the airport I need to be extremely far away So I can forget about her I might forget about her someday Drive on, Randy It's all gone wrong Have some brandy Sing me a song Something soft and low Can we please just go? Drive on Something soft and low Can we please just go? Drive on |
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| 8. |
| 2:59 |
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Sober, life is a prison
Shit faced, it is a blessing Sober, nobody wants you Shit faced, they're all undressing Oh, sober, it's ever darker Shit faced, the moon is nearer Sober, you're old and ugly Shit faced, who needs a mirror? Oh, sober, you're a cromagnon Shit faced, you're very clever Sober, you never should be Shit faced, now and forever I gotta get too drunk to dream 'Cause dreaming only makes me blue I gotta get too drunk to dream Because I only dream of you I gotta get too pissed to miss you Or I'll never get to sleep I gotta drink wine not to pine for you And God knows that ain't cheap I know you think I'm insane I know it's not appealing But till I'm feeling no pain Guess what I'll be feeling? I gotta get too drunk to dream 'Cause dreaming only makes me blue I gotta get too drunk to dream Because I only dream of you I gotta get too fried to cry Or I'll be crying all night long I gotta get too high to sigh Oh, my God, where did I go wrong? So why do I get plastered? And why am I so lonely? It's you, you heartless bastard You're my one and only I gotta get too drunk to dream 'Cause dreaming only makes me blue I gotta get too drunk to dream Because I only dream of you I gotta get too pissed to miss you Or I'll never get to sleep I gotta drink wine not to pine for you And God knows that ain't cheap And God knows that ain't cheap |
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| 9. |
| 3:03 |
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Through sleet and snow and storm and hail
Through every degradation and betrayal Past rhyme and reason and beyond the pale Darling, I will love you till the bitter end And all the bitter moments till then Through time and tomb and Tim and Tom Through pro and con and quid pro quo and qualm Through tidal wave and asteroid and bomb Darling, I will love you till the bitter end And all the bitter moments till then And when your charms begin to fade And when you feel old and afraid I'll scratch beneath your shoulder blade and whisper My love is deeper than I show Remember what I said through sleet and snow So even though I know you have to go Darling, I will love you till the bitter end And all the bitter moments till then |
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| 10. |
| 3:05 |
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Long
and lonely nights, I've waited for you to put things to rights. Leaving you to do your thing without disturbance from me. Somehow I doubt you'll ever be back. I'll keep your things: if you ever need them, the phone still rings. And now that you're free of me at last, your time is your own: go have a blast and I'll dream alone without you; I'll dream alone if I must; because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust. So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz. I'll dream alone from the end, and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been: if only I'd known. I'll dream alone. Dreams we had a few But what kind of dream beats you black and blue? I wanted to scream, "don't go away", but nothing came out; all I could say was: I'll dream alone without you; I'll dream alone if I must; because I guess our little castle in the sky just turned to dust. So I'll dream alone: that's showbiz. I'll dream alone from the end, and I'll be trying not to dream of what was once and might have been: if only I'd known. I'll dream alone. |
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| 11. |
| 2:58 |
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I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to. I'd meet people with lots of money, and men would love me like I loved you. I want to be a topless waitress, I want my mother to shed one tear. I'd throw away this old sedate dress slip into something a tad more shear. I want to be an artist's model An odalisque au naturel I should be good at spin the bottle While I've still got something left to sell I want to be a cobra dancer With little willie between my thighs I may not find a cure for cancer But I'll meet plenty of single guys. I'd like to be a brothel worker, I've always been treated like one. If I could be a backstreet lover, I'd make more money and have more fun. I want to be a dominatrix which isn't like me, but I can dream. Learn S&M and all those gay tricks and men will pay me to make them scream I want to be a porno starlet For that I'll wait till mom is dead I'd see my name in lights of scarlet And get to spend everyday in bed I want to be a tattooed lady, Dedicated as I am to art. Characters bold, complex, and shady Will write my memoirs across my heart |
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| 12. |
| 3:03 |
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Two roosters I slew and with all of my might
I prayed hard for you in Haiti at night Your skin has turned blue and your hair has turned white Must be the voodoo of this Haitian moonlight We can't take day trips but oh, those moonlight strolls Dressed up in silk slips, high heels and mink stoles You swivel your hips as I work the controls No blood ever drips when I widen your holes Zombie boy, Zombie boy Zombie boy, Zombie boy You seem to have died of some form of the pox They left you inside, your tiny black box I heard when you cried and I answered your knocks Let's make you a bride with another two cocks You look pretty good for so long in the ground You smell like a sewer but you don't make a sound I feed you ordure to keep Poopsie spellbound I like to be sure you'll be sticking around Zombie boy, Zombie boy Zombie boy, Zombie boy Zombie boy, Zombie boy Zombie boy, Zombie boy |
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| 13. |
| 2:59 |
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Well, courtesans shed no tears
When you leave them high and dry They just go on, they just go on To the next guy 'Cause courtesans only want Compensation for their time A few kind words, a few kind words They need not rhyme A sable coat, maybe a hat Oh, I wish I could be like that But courtesans are not like me They don't take love very hard Their hearts are free, their hearts are free How avant-garde If no one loves them when they're old They'll sit and count their chains of gold You say you'll love them till you die And they don't care if it's a lie 'Cause courtesans don't believe In anybody but themselves And Santa Claus, and Santa Claus And his twelve elves |
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| 14. |
| 2:59 | 
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