| Disc 1 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |
| 3:48 | 
|
|||
|
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice" And isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face A traffic jam when you're already late A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out |
||||||
| 2. |
| 6:09 |
|
|||
|
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late I never forgot it, confusing as it was No fun with no guilt feelings The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests I'll see you next Sunday We all had our reasons to be there We all had a thing or two to learn We all needed something to cling to So we did I sang Alleluia in the choir I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man My brothers they never went blind for what they did But I may as well have In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son I had one more stupid question We all had our reasons to be there We all had a thing or two to learn We all needed something to cling to So we did What I learned I rejected but I believe again I will suffer the consequences of this inquisition If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven We all had our reasons to be there We all had a thing or two to learn We all needed something to cling to So we did We all had delusions in our head We all had our minds made up for us We had to believe in something So we did |
||||||
| 3. |
| 6:05 |
|
|||
|
I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey hidden in the bottom drawer I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine Lend me some fresh air I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you I don't want to be your babysitter, you're a very big boy now I don't want to be your mother, I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months Show me the back door Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6 Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor I don't want to be the sweeper of the eggshells that you walk upon I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2 I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face at midnight Hey what are you hungry for I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together I don't want to be your idol, sSee this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights I don't want to be lived through a vicarious occasion Please open the window Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6 Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week, and I I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart and its wounded beat I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling What do you thank me, what do you thank me for? Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6 Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor |
||||||
| 4. |
| 5:05 |
|
|||
|
You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for 'Cause it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you To You You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much And you sit and you wait to receive There's an obvious attraction to the path of least resistance In your life There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistance Could make you try tonight 'Cause it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you To you, to you, to you, to you, to you There's no love, no money, no thrill anymore There's an apprehnsive naked little trembling boy With his head in his hands There's an underestimated and impatient little girl Raising her hand But it's easy not to So much easier not to And what goes around never comes around to you To you, to you Get up, get up, get up off of it Get up, get up, get up off of it Get out, get out of here, enough already Get up, get up, get up off of it And wake up |
||||||
|
