| Disc 1 | ||||||
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| 1. |
| 5:02 | 
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[Music & lyrics - D. Ott]
Some say it's better off this way, now it's over You say the future's looking grey, if it's over: Yeah, there's sorrow as we break -- but it's over Yeah, we've had all we could take -- so it's over Stow away memories of yesterday, to think over Run away, the truth you can't betray, or pushover: Yeah, there's silence as we break --- cause it's over Yeah, you've made your last mistake --- so it's over Words:they hurt, fingers point blame Look to yourself and do the same Painful thing to admit This puzzle piece just won't fit But we tried, and we pushed so hard 'til something had to give Still we cried, and I screamed so loud I'm sure you had to hear Now my fingers bleed and I need some relief Because my back:it breaks So I let you down before you fall but still my heart:it aches Judgement day: the good and bad we weigh, and look over Cast away your negative display, and start over: Yeah, there's silence as we break --- cause it's over Yeah, you've made your last mistake --- so it's over Yeah, there's sorrow as we break -- but it's over Yeah, we've had all we could take -- so it's over |
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| 2. |
| 4:33 |
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(Music - P. Craddick & D. Ott / Lyrics - D. Ott)
Frightened -- trying to decide Which way do I side Can't make up my mind this time Searching -- curiosity's burning Just what am I learning From all this wasted time Waiting in line? Wrapped up in What might have been I just pretend That luck was seized from me All alone ( but on the throne ) The King of tragedy Caught up in what could be If only God had smiled on me Another dance with circumstance For His Majesty Crying My bitter tongue denying A life wasted in trying To rise from the bed I've made Where I lay Screaming My aching head is reeling The crown of thorns I'm feeling Made by my own hands Do you understand? Wrapped up in What might have been I just pretend That luck was seized from me All alone ( but on the throne ) The King of tragedy Caught up in what could be If only God had smiled on me Another dance with circumstance For His Majesty Neither her nor there In between is where I'm found Holding court with my excuses: Will the King ever denounce his crown ?? Wrapped up in What might have been I just pretend That luck was seized from me All alone ( but on the throne ) The King of tragedy Caught up in what could be If only God had smiled on me Another dance with circumstance For His Majesty |
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| 3. |
| 6:57 |
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(Music - M. Geimer / Lyrics - T. Leonard)
So safe within this cozy little cell No risk at all throwing coins into a well I lust for gold, but shutter at the price Reward I want, but not the sacrifice And the target's well with in my sights But my hands won't release the bow I've been pulling back on it so long I've forgotten how to let it go And I know I have the means But my will is gone And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on A life passes by, I watch passively I'm haunted by time, my enemy I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free And haunted by time, my enemy I'm frozen by the fast approaching night A dear that stares into oncoming light It's time for me to come down from the fence But either side invites a consequence Waiting for the door to open wide Waiting for the stones to find their place The price it never seems to leave my hands Intentions never help me in the race And I know I have the means But my will is gone And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on A life passes by, I watch passively I'm haunted by time, my enemy I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free And haunted by time, my enemy So I'm safe within my cozy little shell No risk at all, just wishing to myself The price of gold, more than I care to spend But the cost of life is to chance the consequence And the target's well with in my sights But my hands won't release the bow I've been pulling back on it so long I've forgotten how to let it go And I know I have the means But my will is gone And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on A life passes by, I watch passively I'm haunted by time, my enemy I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free And haunted by time, my enemy |
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| 4. |
| 4:54 |
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[Music & lyrics - D. Ott]
Can't fight this urge I'm overwhelmed with anxiety It's taking over me Can't calm my nerves I just can't seem to stop this calamity Will it be the death of me? I'm finding out There is no doubt I need some help How can I learn to protect me from myself? This craving is too strong Restraint is on the shelf I just can't be alone with myself too long Can't stop my trembling hands I've got the shakes again Convinced myself the needle's My best friend Never been so high I'm sure if I wanted I could touch the sky I'm already halfway there But I'm falling down Seems my time to fly is running out Does anybody really care? I've figured it out There is no doubt I need some help Can you try to save me from myself? This craving is too strong I've lost all self control I just can't be alone With myself anymore I've nothing left to lose And nothing stops the pain But the poison That I pump through my veins And my tears they leave a stain And my heart won't beat the strain Cause the beast I just can't tame I've figured it out There is no doubt I need some help Can I ever really trust myself? My craving is so strong My self-esteem is gone I must stop Or I won't be around very long I won't be around: Very long: I won't be around: |
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| 5. |
| 4:44 |
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(Music - P. Craddick, D. Ott / Lyrics - P. Craddick)
Don't you know that one day you'll be found out? Faulty explanations, changing colors -- all breed doubt :You push your thoughts away from the day when you must pay When the storm becomes a blizzard, don't play dead like a lizard Pull it out -- wash it off With the blade of deception sheathed the wounds can heal Though you like the darker climes, they shade you from the real Don't pull it off -- cut it off A game is fair when the players abide by the rules You speak with forked tongue and cast yourself the fool There's something slightly saurian in the structure of your skin Your conscience is well padded, your reasoning is thin :So you put your prayers away until the hunt when you're the prey On the darkest judgement night, the ledger books will be set right Pull it out -- wash it off With the blade of deception sheathed the wounds can heal Though you like the darker climes, they shade you from the real Don't pull it off -- cut it off A game is fair when the players abide by the rules You speak with forked tongue and cast yourself the fool Watch your tail You're headed for a tailspin Approaching danger cuts the water like a shark's fin |
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| 6. |
| 4:18 |
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[Music - D. Ott & M. Geimer / Lyrics - D. Ott]
I feel the walls close around me Shadows dance before my eyes I hear the clock tick, it's talking Telling tales of wasted time Just need to catch my breath I've been under too much stress Trapped -- I've been too long here on the inside I'm stranded, stuck here on my own I'm trapped -- A prisoner of my own design On the brink of sensory overload When desperation surrounds me naturally I rationalize But will this calm leave, forsake me with the night apostatize? Can't help, but hold my breath Afraid of what comes next: Trapped -- I've been too long here on the inside I'm stranded, stuck here on my own I'm trapped -- A prisoner of my own design On the brink of sensory overload Never felt so alone Anguish hits me like a stone Who can I blame for engineering my fate When what I love becomes what I hate? I'm finally out of breath Feels like there's nothing left |
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| 7. |
| 3:35 |
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[Music & lyrics - D. Ott]
The words you say:they break me Conversation takes me to a new low Can't cope - hide me, false hope - remind me Say no more, for your words: They cut me like knives If there's virtue in silence, say no more For you melt my heart like ice With your verbal violence Spiteful words echo inside me The flame that once burned has turned cold No doubt - debated, found out - hate it Say no more, for your words: They cut me like knives If there's virtue in silence, say no more For you melt my heart like ice With your verbal violence You speak, your tongue, a blade unsheathed Each phrase cuts a bit too deep Say no more, for your words: They cut me like knives If there's virtue in silence, say no more For you melt my heart like ice With your verbal violence Say no more, for your words: They cut me like knives If there's mercy in silence, say no more For you melt my heart like ice |
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| 8. |
| 5:49 |
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(Music - P. Craddick, D. Ott & M. Geimer / Lyrics - P. Craddick)
Some nights I lie in forced awakeness My thoughts won't let me go A sleep like death has claimed the world outside The silence reshapes my solitude, from a refuge to a prison Distractionless, nowhere to hide Aloneness holds the mirror I see things I just can't work through Some things you'll never shine any light into Like how to read what will be, from what has been Like what's in store for me, and you I wonder what my life will be, what lies ahead for the people close to me? How can I make my peace with uncertainty -- in a sea of risk, swim with serenity? Some nights my thoughts drag me to a cold, cold place: the dark side of mortality Who will be the next to go -- their light blown out forever, in that merciless finality? Lives are running novels; at times you read, at times you write The choice of which to do might keep you awake at night Should I just accept or act against this pressing moment Should I run for cover or stand and fight? I wonder what my life will be, a public failure or success in obscurity? How can I make my peace with uncertainty -- in a sea of risk, swim with serenity? I wonder what my life will be, what lies ahead for you and me? Can I make my peace with uncertainty? I wonder what my life will be:I wonder: |
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| 9. |
| 5:03 |
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[Music - D. Ott / Lyrics - T. Leonard]
Running blind and out of breath But in the wrong direction I don't recall or recognize My own reflection Locked myself in a cell I can't breach My key to sovereignty lies just out of reach Can't set myself free: Can't seem to keep down my last meal Can't turn back the hand I deal Feel like I'm caught in foreign land Exiled by my gavel hand A rat in a cage I'm spinning the wheel But getting nowhere The gallows -- my stage I'm seen by all Performing to no one This could have been my finest day A drug that expends me; the price that I pay Can't throw it away: Can't seem to keep down my last meal Can't turn back the hand I deal Feel like I'm caught in foreign land Exiled by my gavel hand The cage that I'm in is formed From my own design: No way out that I can tell Stay here forever trapped Inside my own mind: I know every corner so well And I fear that when I finally find the will The atrophy will keep me lying still But I'm tired of the darkness And I'm tired of the smell But I'm torn; I don't know anything else And I'm tired of the nighttime And I long for the day But I'm torn; I don't know another way Running blind, out of breath Spinning the wheel But getting nowhere: |
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| 10. |
| 6:53 |
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(Music & lyrics - P. Craddick)
I am weighed down by this pain I am blackened by this stain But I can't complain We have to choose and deal with the rest I must meet this challenge I must pass this test Have to work with what I've got Have to walk before I run No point in always looking back The past can't be undone And I have this cross to bear Can't pretend it isn't there Trust, once broken, so difficult to repair Trust me, though To try and make it there Life is truth and dare We have to choose and deal with the rest In this labyrinth of options This pitfall ridden quest Have to work with what I've got Have to walk before I run No point in always looking back The past can't be undone And I have this cross to bear Can't pretend it isn't there The nails are driven in But not all the way There's no tragic necessity Tomorrow can be a better day So here I sit, alone Peruse my thoughts, survey my heart And work to reconstruct This whole that's splintered into parts Life is a dare We have to choose and deal with the rest I must meet this challenge I must pass this test Have to work with what I've got Have to walk before I run No point in always looking back The past can't be undone And I have this cross to bear Can't pretend it isn't there: Yet this pain behind your stare Shows the depth of how much you care |
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| 11. |
| 6:23 |
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[Music & lyrics - T. Leonard]
Once a week I spit it out Monday I receive Once a week without a doubt Monday hard to believe Once a week I give it up Monday never shows Once a week I lift it up Monday down it goes Struggle between your word my deed To the latter I always concede A two legged chair I choose to build On bread alone I choose to feed Well then why even with all this bread Do I buckle from the pain? It's just sad cause I know what I need has nothing to do with grain Still I try, but nothing my hands make Can ever fill this hole It's just sad, cause getting what I need is so rarely my goal One day I'm stability The next thing that I know I'm relearning humility While chasing every stone and I start to throw in all directions Then I see your hand Scribbling down convictions Hassles in the sand Well then why even with all this bread Do I buckle from the pain? It's just sad cause I know what I need has nothing to do with grain Still I try, but nothing my hands make Can ever fill this hole It's just sad, cause getting what I need is so rarely my goal Struggle between your word my deed To the latter I always concede A two legged chair I choose to build On bread alone I choose to feed |
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