Screeching Weasel

i was there alone one day me, fred and my
microwave fred was a gerbil just the same i was
feeling quiet insane 60 seconds set on high kiss
my gerbil fred goodbye watch old freddy run and
run he went kaboom! just like a gun go and get a
brillo pad fred is dead aw ain't it sad i didn't do it
- that i wish guess who's next it's bob my fish

k-mart is the savings place i'd like to
punch the customers in the face get
pissed off when it ain't priced right
cause the people who shop there ain't too bright

Gonna whip you with a towel (x2)

You don't know you look totally lame
You're a jockpunk man it's a fuckin shame

You're startin fights with people weaker than you
Come over here and I'll pound on you

You have a fit if the music's too slow
Your momma's calling - You better go

i got a call last night from warren
somebody told him his band is boring
warren was crying, he felt so bad cause
the punks don't like his bell-bottom pants
experience the ozzfish i went to a party,
brought a tape of their tunes it drove
everybody out of the room ozzfish just
ain't cool anymore cause ozz don't listen
to any hardcore some people might say i
got no taste they say the band sounds like
shit cause they don't have a bass some
people might say i got no brains
but ozzfish is driving my neighbors insane

Massacres, violence film at 10
Media scumbags strike a gain
Shove a microphone in some poor guys face
So your ratings can soar to outer space
Ken and Barbie on location
Pretty newsman masturbation
Not a way to spend my afternoon
I'd rather eat Doritos and watch cartoons
Channel 8 and the daily times
Make sure we don't forget those nasty crimes
Keep your TV on and stay inside
Or you'll end up a victim of homocide

it's raining needles stuck in my head
i wish i had stayed home in bed raining
needles - help me guys ! in my hands in
my eyes my throat was stabbed i gurgle
blood i fall on needles in the mud in my
head in my shirt in my body it really hurts
covered with needles my blood is red really
hurts oh wow i'm dead

You gotta lotta nerve lookin down your nose at me
Label me the dregs of a nice society
Peoples parents like you and girls all shout your name
But you're a clean-cut asshole to me you're all the same
Listening to R.E.M. looking just like all your friends
Out in mom's car drinking beers
Making fun of things you don't understand

You really make me ill cause you're Mr. Nice Guy
Straight A's in alcohol hittin all the parties
You and all your asshole friends scammin on a young girl
Pull a train on her and you feel like you own the world

You got no right tellin me that I ain't OK
College buttfucks rule this world and claim to be alternative
You're a fucking slimebag I don't care what you say

You're full of shit go fuck yourself
I know what the truth is

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner
that is truly what I'd really like to be.
'Cause if I was an Oscar Meyer weiner
then everyone would be in love with me.

(spoken)
Oscar Meyer weiners
come get your hotdogs
ah, their made with all
this shit from a cow that
nobody wants, like mucous
and marrow and eyeballs
and bile, and all that crap
that really makes them taste
so damn, really fucking good.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner
that is truly what I'd really like to be.
'Cause if I was an Oscar Meyer weiner
then everyone would be in love with me.

You're everything I hate and more
So afraid you'll be a bore
So you make up stories, spread gossip and lies
But it's the kind of bullshit that nobody buys

You're a liar, liar fuck you (x2)

I haven't heard a convincing one yet
About to be busted, you're starting to sweat
Quick change the subject, hell, nobody cares
The fact is you're a liar, we're all quite aware

Couldn't tell a story straight wouldn't know how to begin
Cause telling the truth would be a mortal sin
You make up lies for lack of something to do
You're a worthless old douchebag and I hate you !

got 12 rooms 12 vacancies you can
do just what you please just don't
get mother to irate and don't ever
call me master bates a man should
have a hobby, true but i got so bored
i needed something to do so i sharpened mother's
cutlery now everywhere i look is blood
i see mother's not a fruit but she's gotta
go down down to the cellar so she won't
be found i know it's not right but i just
can't tell of the nasties that go on in bates motel

work i can't get up in the morning
i feel like a sap like somebody's fool
i work like a rat and i'm going insane
i know it ain't right and i know it ain't
cool so don't tell me what to do work
do this get that i don't like it why make
money if i can't spend it overtime i'm
getting pissed off i don't have a life
- hey boss fuck off!

cows - they're comin near me hope
they don't see me they can't defeat me
oh please don't eat me ! cows -
won't give you butter if you pull
their udder cows now longer have
sad eyes they won't be served
with fries they have no master
they're comin faster they're
sleeping in my bed they're stepping on my head ! moo!

hey you - you're a blonde what you say
is always wrong hey look - you can sprint
don't you know you're in like flint don't
touch my car hey you - you're a star if
we are we went too far hey look -
i sing a song don't you know it's just for fun?

you are so fucked up don't even talk to me don't
know what you're talking about get the fuck away
from me leave me alone - don't wanna hear your
voice don't wanna hear a sound - just leave me
alone you love alcohol don't wanna know from
nothing else you can't have a good time without
it personality from a bottle

you always wanted a real nice lawn now your
whole back yard is gone too bad you tried to
cut your grass too bad that you ran out of gas
you drank just one too many beers now it's in
your car and back to sears it ate up half your
bedroom rug but now you've got brand new
sparkplugs you gotta bitchin mower now you
think you are the cats meow you only
have yourself to thank when
we put draino in your tank

i wanna live with madonna i wanna lick oprah i
wanna go to hollywood i wanna be a material man
i have high ambitions i wanna write puzzles for
wheel of fortune i want god to make my bed
i wanna go deep sea fishing
i wanna fuck jesse jackson

Don't want to ruin your whole day
But there's just something I got to say
You got to understand it's hard
Everyday it tears me apart

Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you to another guy

I sit inside my room all night
I think about you all the time
Don't know what's wrong but I'm comfused
Why am I scared of losing you?

Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you to another guy

I sit inside my room all night
I think about you all the time
Don't know what's wrong but I'm comfused
Why am I scared of losing you?

Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you
Don't want to lose you to another guy
To another guy

who needs dayglo ? hey not me !
27 morons living on a tree peace
symbols, cheap, phony dime store
beads half the time flippin out on
lsd advocate non-violence you
don't know how to fight stupid,
unobjective cause you think
you're always right you'll go
from beatnik to yuppie in
the blink of an eye can't
think for yourself cause
you're always fuckin high
peace-yeah smoke pot that's
the way man we all love each
other, that's the way the world
was planned wake up, smell the
coffee man you're on cloud 3
you're nothing but a dirty,
smelly cumbag hippie

gotta learn soon that things never last cause
i'm a punk rock christian with a bug up my
ass gotta know now if it's all worth a fight
cause if there's really a god then what else
is right ? what is right (x4) gotta lot of people
don't like my attitude i don't know what the
fuck i should do if you think it's ok when
i rip in a song then why when i do it to you
is it wrong i gotta girl and i know i'm in love
if you fight all the time can that be enough ?
i gotta girl and i know that she loves me so
why should i feel fucked up, shut out, hoced up,
shut up in destiny ? fuck !