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(feat. Lil' Kim)
[All snippets of Monica's +responses+ are Lil' Kim record samples] [Chris Rock] Thanks for the interview Monica Now Monica, everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know about Monica Lewinsky -- but Monica, could you tell us one thing that people would be surprised to know about you? I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit Handle it, like a real bitch.. [Chris Rock] Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands on your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with Monica Lewinsky would be like? Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons.. [Chris Rock] Hmm, sounds like fun! Now Monica, who were your role models? Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches.. [Chris Rock] Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as Butthead Did the President have any nicknames for you? Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni.. [Chris Rock] Ahh, cute! Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone sex. What was the one thing that you would say to the President that would make him acheive orgasm? Before you nut, I'ma dribble down your buttcheek Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little.. [Chris Rock] Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job What's the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan? It's on nigga what? Pussy greased up Stack the G's up, keeps the knees up.. [Chris Rock] So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too? I made my intro, gettin fucked in the Pinto.. [Chris Rock] Monica you appear to be having sex with everybody How do the interns treat you? They be suckin blackberry molasses out my asses.. [Chris Rock] Now now that we're on it, how come you never had sex with Al Gore? I got no patience for little dick tastin.. [Chris Rock] What about Ken Starr? He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty.. [Chris Rock] Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship with the President? Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy The motherfucker never ate my pussy.. [Chris Rock] Hey, here's the President right now, Bill Clinton! Now Mr. President, before we go, is there anything you'd like to say to Monica Lewinsky? [Eazy-E sample] Bitch shut the fuck up! Get the fuck out of here! |
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Alright, fellas that was Ashley on the main stage
And right now Deja Vu It's time for the Deja Vu One for two Buy one, get two table dances Now you know what to do Fellas, here come the ladies Here come the ladies Hey baby, hey baby Hey light-skinned Light-skinned, light-skinned sister Won't you come here Come on over here And give a brotha Give a brotha a dance Uh, I already got a customer Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Dark-skinned sister, dark-skinned sister Why don't ya come here, come 'er here give a brotha a dance Come on give a brotha a dance, come give a brotha a dance My shift is over Well why don't you work some overtime then? Shit Okay, I understand ya shit Hey baby, come here, come here Won't ya give a brotha a dance Come here, come here Come here, cornrowed sister Cornrowed sister, give a brotha a dance Give a brotha a dance I'm a waitress Oh okay, okay Damn! What am I glass? I think I'll sing Ladies of Deja Vu What must I do to get with you? I got a role of twenties buried in my pants So here's one little question that I'd like to ask Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang I been workin' all week, for the money I got Lookin' for a place to bend this nut In attendin' in my Benzo Lookin' for a place to find some mackin' hoes But that shit don't thrill me So I head to the mad city to get on, G I don't dance just start fun I'm lookin' for a place that gonna move some Know what I'm sayin'? Know what I'm talkin' about? The type of bitch that turn the party out I met a bitch named Dynasty With so much back, she made a blind man see What's really happenin'? Too many clothes, not enough booty slappin' Now I don't need romance, all I need to know is Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang Can a nigga get a table dance? Shake it up! Shake it up! Woo! Shake that thang I'll give you a table dance But you're white And you're cute This is a great table dance Hey, you like that? I love it! This table dance makes me wanna Makes me wanna sing |
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(feat. BizMarkie)
[BizMarkie] Yes indeed people This is me and my man And this is OUR rendition of this, Rolling Stones classic And it go like this.. [Biz: singing] I just wanna get a table dance Every sister in the place won't give me a chance Strobelight, blow-by, they've been front bout all night Give me any woman, just as long as she's white WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good? WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would! I sho' like some milk Milk is NATURAL baby As we continue on, I'ma tell you how much I LIKE my white woman baby So check it out, WOWWWWWWWWWWWW! Halle and Tyra just put me to sleep Give me Sharon Stone, Pamela Lee and Meryl Streep Go tell Oprah that I know what I like Give me any woman, just as long as she's white WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good? WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would! Yeah, y'all know what I'm talkin about baby They so good! Yes indeedy sweetie! I'm not greedy, I gives to the needy White woman OWWWWWWW I love ya! WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good? WHITE BITCHES!! Do shit no sister would! WHITE BITCHES!! How come you look so good? Yeahhh, yeahhh, yeahhh, WHOO!!!! Do shit no sister would! White bitches sing! Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!! How come you look so good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!! Yeahhh baby! Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!! WHITE BITCHES!! I'm not talkin bout no REGGIE White Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!! I'm not talkin bout no BARRY White WHITE BITCHES!! I'm not talkin bout SNAPPY White I'm talkin bout Vanna White, Bette White, and SNOW White Yeah, yeah, yeah, WHOO!! YEAH BAYBEEEEE! (White bitches, oahahaohhhh, oahahhhhyeahhh) Hey, how'd you get in here? You better let the doorknob hitcha befo' me and Chris getcha |
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